Psychological knowledge tells us: childhood happiness, we are more likely to copy happiness, childhood pain, we are more likely to copy pain.
After the girl was divorced, she understood the truth of this sentence and felt deeply remorseful for the harm caused to her husband by her actions!
What exactly did the girl go through?
Xiao Ye is young and beautiful, a full-time wife, and her husband has founded an independent educational institution and has a booming business.
This was supposed to be an enviable couple's life, however, one day, Xiao Ye suddenly received a divorce notice from her husband, and then, her husband never came home.
Xiao Ye was very shocked, she always thought that husband and wife were in love, how could her husband be willing to divorce her?
In order to save her husband, she kept going to the unit to pester her husband, and even threatened with such extreme behaviors as "jumping off the building".
never thought about it, but she pushed her husband farther and farther, and her husband was determined to divorce her.
The radical approach could not make her husband change his mind, Xiao Ye completely calmed down and began to reflect on her behavior.
Through reading psychology books and consulting with a psychological counselor, Xiao Ye realized more and more clearly that in her intimate relationship with her husband, she was repeating her mother's mistakes.
My mother is a particularly "fierce" woman, and the whole village has been offended by her.
Although my mother is domineering and has a simple and rude way of doing things, she is not "bad". She is diligent and thrifty, hard-working, and a good woman.
For Xiao Ye, her mother is also very strict, either beating or scolding, Xiao Ye often cries and goes to school. Mother's desire to control is very strong, and it is a percussive education, Xiaoye's childhood was frightened, cautious, full of grievances and helplessness.
Now Xiaoye, facial expression and walking posture are very stiff.
The same is true of the relationship between mom and dad, mom is very strong, and dad is very honest, dad swallows his anger at his mother's madness, either keeps silent or hides out.
It wasn't until after my mother passed away that my father had a smile on his face and a much more cheerful personality.
Xiao Ye has made up her mind since she was a child that she doesn't want to be like her mother, but in her married life, she completely copied her mother's behavior.
Xiao Ye and her husband have been together for 18 years from campus love to marriage and childbirth, and they have a deep emotional foundation.
Xiao Ye worked for her husband with peace of mind, became a full-time mother, she lived a frugal life, was low-key, and had no bad habits, she could be regarded as a woman with her duty.
Her mom is the same person.
Because he has no social circle for a long time, his emotional world is mainly her husband, and she hopes that her husband can accompany her more, but her husband works more than ten hours a day, and he is very tired from work, ignoring his care and companionship for her.
Xiao Ye often loses her temper and scolds her husband hysterically, sometimes lying on the ground when they quarrel, sometimes lying directly in the middle of the road, and pretending to "jump off the building" several times, such an extreme approach makes her husband very disgusted.
At the same time, she has had a sense of distance from intimacy since she was a child, and her husband is less and less able to appreciate the gentleness and delicacy of a woman in her.
Eventually, her husband filed for divorce from her!
Xiao Ye is a woman who was hurt by her original family and affected her happy life, although her husband filed for divorce, he still gave financial support in life, and did not mention feelings.
Wu Zhihong said in the book: "Love is not only the dance of two people now, but also the dance of two families in the past, because our dance steps are learned in childhood", and marriage is the same.
The influence of the original court on a person is profound, and it will vaguely accompany a lifetime, like a vine, entwining the past and binding the front.
We think that we can live independently when we grow up**, however, our thinking patterns are copies of our parents, and our behavior patterns are strikingly similar to those of our parents.
In childhood, we have been exposed to our parents' parenting style and inherited it, and when we grow up, we will subconsciously substitute our parents' behavior patterns into our adult life, affecting marriage, making friends, workplace, and so on.
We want to really grow up in the Autumn and Winter Check-in Challenge, which is to jump out of the shackles of the original family, which of the parents' behaviors are worth inheriting and which must be abandoned, and then shaping a new self.
Under the guidance of a psychological counselor, Xiao Ye has woken up, and she knows that she listens more, understands more, and expresses more, instead of blindly dealing with the relationship between husband and wife emotionally.
I hope that Xiaoye can save his family through his own changes!Premium short** plan
Case **: An emotional program).