Nobel laureate in chemistry Otovar Lage chose the path of literature from an early age because of his parents' love for literature. However, after a semester in literature class, the teacher denied him the possibility of pursuing a career in literature.
His parents were reluctant to give up their training and let him learn oil painting. Therefore, he did not do well in composition or color grading, and his understanding of oil painting was also poor, and he was the worst student in the class.
All the teachers in the school did not think highly of him, only the chemistry teacher appreciated it, and his parents accepted the advice of the chemistry teacher to let Otto Wallach study chemistry and achieved remarkable results.
Psychologists have summed up a law based on his legendary life and achievements in chemistry: the Wallach effect.
This effect is widely applicable to personal growth, but on reflection, it also has a certain guiding role in marriage management.
Many people's married life is not happy, there are too many bumps, they think that the other party is not the right person, if this is really the case, it turns out that they will not get married, and there is a possibility, that is, they do not know their position.
If you want a happy marriage, you can use the Wallach effect to find your place in a relationship, and if you are in the right place, there is a high probability that you will usher in a perfect ending.
Two people in a marriage should have an attitude of equality, tolerance, accommodation, and understanding, no matter which one is indispensable, so when managing a marriage, we should pay attention to the following two aspects:
Step by step", Starling Fu Jin Minghui was originally a beautiful woman, although because of love and jealousy, but she is good-looking, wise, and not a bad person in her bones, and the reason why she is unhappy in her marriage is that she lives too humblely.
Everything comes first to the husband, looking at it, I am afraid that the starling will be unhappy, and in order to improve his status in the eyes of the other party, he does not hesitate to sacrifice the future of his mother's family.
In a relationship, the more humble a woman is, the less a man will pay attention. Just like the wisdom of the starling, he knows that no matter what kind of emotion he is, the other party will never give up, and even if he makes a mistake in himself, the other party will kowtow to please him.
If you are not afraid of losing, you will not care, and will even trample on the sincerity that the other person has given you, either taking advantage of it or pretending to be happy.
What you can't get is what you want, just like Ruoxi and Ruolan sisters do to starling, which can make him give all his sincerity and tenderness without reservation.
Managing feelings with humility is the most foolish thing to do, because the premise of being loved is to love yourself first.
Of course, in marriage, modesty is not advisable, and a high-flying attitude is the other extreme.
Whether it is a man or a woman, if you always maintain a condescending attitude in front of your partner, it will invisibly cause pressure on the other half and make the other party want to escape.
Both modesty and pride can easily make people feel uncomfortable in a relationship, the former will make the other person dislike, and the latter will only make the other person feel unappreciated.
Find a suitable position for yourself, respect your lover, get along with each other equally, owe each other, and accommodate each other, so that the relationship can be in a dynamic balance and make the relationship better and better.
Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai knew each other and fell in love, and finally became butterflies and flew together, which was touching;The story of Cui Yingying and Zhang Sheng can also exchange the emotional backs of the soul.
A person who has been washed by a beautiful love story is easy to yearn for. When you are in love or running a marriage, it is easy to automatically replace yourself and become the protagonist in it.
But in fact, life is thousands of miles away from the ideal, and what kind of expectations are full of love, and what your partner can give is not necessarily 100%.
It is often said that the best love is when you want a peach, and the other person can give you a peach.
But such requirements are too high, even parents still can't fully guess their children's minds, let alone a partner who is not related by blood, but just knows and loves each other for a few years
Therefore, I think the best love is not when you want peaches, the other party can give you accurately, but no matter what you want, the other half is willing to do it for you, even if the payment is unsatisfactory.
Some women, who feel unhappy in their marriage, have too high expectations for their other half, so they are disappointed frequently
And those who are satisfied, no matter what their partner gives, are satisfied, and actively give warm feedback, so that each other's love enters a virtuous circle and gets better and better.
Don't think what a man should be like in order to be a qualified husband, people have their own personalities, and they should respect and understand their partners to the greatest extent and run a good family together.
Don't easily dismiss the initial choice, every couple's mission in marriage is to make the initial choice right.
Both men and women should understand:
When you marry someone without hesitation, you must always put yourself and the other person on an equal footing, not too humble, not too arrogant;
Commitment to the other half and reasonable expectations in the marriage will reduce the huge gap caused by disappointment and find a different standard of love in the details.