My name is Zhang Ming, my mother Lao Zhang is in her 70s, she lives alone in her hometown, and I have always been worried about her life. Before the Spring Festival last year, I called my mother, and after a few words of greeting, I asked with concern: "Mom, the Spring Festival is coming, it's okay for you to be alone in your hometown, right?"”
* On the other end, the mother sighed softly and said, "Son, I am really a little lonely for an old man to live here, and it is not interesting to be alone every day." If you don't move in with me for a year, I'll be happy to have you every day!”
Mom, I understand what you said, but this matter needs to be carefully considered. I tried to resolve my mother's request, "Why don't I take Lin Ting and Xiaofang back to accompany you for the Spring Festival?"Let's talk about it together. ”
Okay son, it's best if you figure it out. I'm old, and I want to spend more time with your granddaughters. Mom seemed a little disappointed, but she didn't force it, "You must come back for the Spring Festival, I miss Xiaofang so much." ”
Hung up**, I fell into deep thought. I know how my mom feels, but moving to my hometown has also had a big impact on my family life. Lin Ting is my college classmate, and now she is working as a department manager in a foreign company, and her career is just getting startedXiaofang is only 7 years old and is in the second grade of primary school in the city, and her Xi and life will also be affected.
However, it means a lot to her that my mother was able to live with us for a year. It was difficult for me to make a decision, so I could only discuss it with Lin Ting first.
That night, I told Lin Ting what my mother thought. She hesitated for a moment and said, "Auntie is really pitiful now, but moving to my hometown, it will be difficult for me to work here." I also have to think about the company and my colleagues. ”
I understand your difficulties. I said, "I'm trying to figure out how we can find a way to get the best of both worlds." ”
Perhaps, you take Xiaofang back to accompany your aunt for the New Year first, and it's not too late to decide after seeing the specific situation. Otherwise, we want to go back to our hometown in a monthIf Auntie is too lonely, we'll extend it for a few more days, what do you say?Lin Ting suggested.
That's a good idea!I thought about it, "We can go back to spend time with my aunt first, experience life, and then see what she really needs." If it's just for a short time, you can take a leave of absence. It's a good arrangement for everyone. ”
In this way, we decided to take Xiaofang back to her hometown for a month during the Spring Festival. Lin Ting took a month's leave from the company, quit some jobs, and prepared to live with us in her hometown.
The Spring Festival is coming soon, and the family of three happily came to their hometown. Mom was waiting for us at the door early, and when she saw us, she was so excited that she burst into tears.
Son, daughter-in-law, our Xiaofang is here!Come in and sit!Mom greeted us with a smile.
We put our bags away and the family sat at the dinner table and chatted. Mom warmly welcomed us to eat dumplings and dumplings. Xiaofang happily talked about interesting things at school, and pulled her grandmother to keep talking.
Grandma's favorite is Xiao Fang!Mom laughed and teased Xiaofang.
I also like my grandmother the most!Xiao Fang said sweetly.
Seeing this warm scene, Lin Ting and I exchanged glances. Perhaps, my mother is just too lonely, and with us by her side, her life will be much happier.
In this way, we spent a happy annual vacation in our hometown. Xiaofang is very new to everything here, often takes her grandmother to walk around the village, meets her grandmother's old friends, and also gets to know a group of friends of the same age in the village, and plays with them every day.
Lin Ting also gradually adapted to the rhythm of life here. Every day, she would get up early to cook a few home-cooked meals, and then sit in the yard with her mother to bask in the sun and chat. Sometimes he would go to the market with me to buy groceries and cook dinner. In the evening, we will watch TV together as a family and share our harvest and interesting facts about the day.
Life here is really laid-back. Once Lin Ting sighed, "It's not as busy and desperate as in the city, but it also has an indescribable taste." ”
Yes, although the conditions in my hometown are a little simpler, my life is very meaningful. I agree.
I comforted my mother: "Mom, you can't be so selfish, Lin Ting has her job, and this is also very important to her." We've been staying with you for a month now, and you've had a lot of fun during this time, haven't you?”
Yes, Auntie, I've taken a month's leave, and the work in the company is piling up, and I really have to go back. Lin Ting was also very embarrassed.
So, after we discussed, we decided that I would stay in my hometown and continue to accompany my mother for a while, Lin Ting and Xiaofang would go back to the city first, and I would find a way to persuade my mother again.
After Lin Ting and Xiaofang left, I continued to try my best to take care of my mother's life. However, I gradually realized that my mother seemed to demand more from our family than from loneliness. She began to ask me to take care of her, and I had to accompany her every day for three meals, daily life, and walks, and often gave us instructions on our family's life, organizing us how to take care of the housework and take care of the children.
I realized that my mother's request could be motivated by a more complex psychological need, not just simple loneliness. She seems to want to keep a tight grip on our family's life, which is beyond the normal mother-son relationship.
If we do move to our hometown as a family, Mom is bound to seriously affect our lives, which may cause damage to the harmony of our family. I have to talk to my mom about it.
After thinking about it, I finally mustered up the courage to have a frank conversation with my mother.
Mom, I think you might have some misunderstanding. I tried to choose a tactful wording, "You've always wanted our family to move in with you, and this comes from missing and relying on us." But in fact, many of your requirements have gone beyond the normal mother-son relationship, which makes Lin Ting and I feel very embarrassed. ”
When my mother heard this, she was stunned at first, and then her eyes were filled with tears.
I quickly continued: "I understand your loneliness and needs very well. But as a son, I also have my own family and career. Lin Ting is also part of the family, and if she has to give up her job, our lives will be difficult. ”
Son, I know it's not going to be easy for you either. Mom sighed, "But I really can't bear you, I don't have a companion every day, and I'm really sad in my heart." ”
I understand your feelings, Mom. I continued, "You should understand us, too." Just like when I was a child, I always wanted you to care, and now Lin Ting and I also have our own lives. You should learn to weigh the pros and cons and do what is appropriate instead of forcing us to sacrifice ourselves. ”
Mom listened quietly, as if in deep thought.
I was relieved to see that my mother had realized so quickly. I quickly said, "Mom, I'm glad you understand. When you are old, we should all take good care of you and come back to see you often. But at the same time, you should also take the initiative to adapt to life, maintain a positive attitude, and don't entangle your children and families because of loneliness, which is not good for everyone's feelings. ”
Yes, son, I see. Mom nodded with red eyes, "I'm going to pack up, and you can go back to the city to live." In the future, I will learn to have some fun on my own, and I will often go to your place in the city to sit. As long as you come back often in my old age, I will be content. ”
Great, Mom!I shook my mother's hand excitedly, "You are so reasonable, I respect you and feel sorry for you." Rest assured, as long as you take the initiative to take care of yourself, we will definitely come back often and the family will be happily reunited!”
Good boy, it's Mom who owes you a debt. My mother also held my hand and smiled, "I will live each day positively in the future, and I will no longer have so many unrealistic ideas." I believe that you can also have a happy life in your old age!”
In this way, I had a sincere heart-to-heart communication with my mother. Not only does this solve the problem of the moment, but it also takes our relationship to a new level. My mother regained a positive and independent attitude, and I also learned how to guide the elderly to look at life correctly.
Later, my mother really started to take the initiative to learn many life skills Xi and also participated in some senior activities. Occasionally, she still misses us, but has learned to control her emotions. I also take my family back to see her regularly, and we are close but within proper boundaries.
Life is like a spiritual practice, and I am grateful to my mother for this request, which taught me how to get along with the elderly. I hope that all Chinese families can find a point of harmony and not be harmed by the intricacies of emotions in the moment. Thank you mom, thank you for the ups and downs of this year!
The Spring Festival of the year is here again, and my mother happily came to our house, ready to celebrate a reunion with our family.
Mom, Happy New Year!I smiled and hugged my mom.
Happy New Year, son!Come, let Mom see, have you gained weight again this year?"Mom was amusing me happily.
It's you who are young again!"I also say a word back to my mother.
Happy New Year, Auntie!Lin Ting also smiled and stepped forward to high-five her mother.
Happy New Year, Auntie!Xiao Fang shouted sweetly and threw herself into her grandmother's arms.
Xiaofang is the most well-behaved!Mom happily picked up Xiaofang and spun in circles.
We happily ate the reunion dinner at the dinner table, and my mother carefully prepared a table of Xiaofang's favorite dishes. I looked at the happy smile on my mother's face and felt a lot of emotion in my heart.
A year ago, we were in a dilemma over our mother's request;But this year, Mom has lost that willfulness and dependence, she has learned how to live happily, and has given us more freedom and space. This year's ups and downs have actually achieved the phased growth of our whole family.
Mom, you've lost a lot of weight, is it the result of attending the classroom?Lin Ting teased her mother.
Yes, I dance every morning and go for a walk in the evening, and my body is much better than before!Mom said proudly, "I also made a few old friends, and I don't feel lonely when I chat every day." ”
Great, Mom!"I am very happy for her.
In the evening, the family happily sat in front of the TV to watch the Spring Festival Gala, just like a year ago. It's just that this year, we've all been much more relaxed knowing that mom has learned how to live happily.
During the Spring Festival holiday, my mother spent a very happy week at our house. Just like last year, my mother and I went to the neighborhood for a walk, and Lin Ting and my mother often sat together to chat and do crafts. Mom and Xiaofang are tired of being together every day, and they have a lot of fun with one big and one young.
A week later, when I saw off my mother, no one shed tears or reluctance. We just agreed that my mother would come back for dinner with us after the New Year, or that we would find a time to visit her.
Son, I'm really having a great time!When my mother said goodbye to me, she said, "I didn't make any unreasonable demands this year, did I?"I'm also fulfilling every day now, don't worry. ”
Mom, you make us respect and admire!I said from the bottom of my heart, "Your transformation is the proudest thing about our family." ”
Alright, alright, stop praising me. Mom smiled and waved her hand, "Let's all look forward to last year's events." I'm old, and as long as you treat me well and well, I'll be satisfied. ”
I nodded and watched my mom get in the car and leave. Behind her, I also saw Lin Ting hugging Xiaofang and waving goodbye enthusiastically.
At this moment, I suddenly had a hunch: in the years to come, our mother and I will get closer and closer and spend one warm and beautiful Spring Festival after another. Because, we have learned how to help each other in the midst of change, and we have also understood the true meaning that blood is thicker than water.
Life can't always go smoothly, but through the storm, we will snuggle up to each other more closely. I am grateful for this year, I am grateful to my respected mother, and I am grateful to everyone in my life who loves me.