Hello everyone, I am Guo Ma, a family education instructor
In our opinion, the practice of "green tea" is really frowned upon, but sometimes it really works.
Xiaomi, the daughter of a friend's family, is in the first grade of primary school, and her back table is a little naughty little boy Xiaofeng. Some time ago, Xiaofeng often kicked Xiaomi's stool, which annoyed Xiaomi.
After coming back,Xiaomi told her mother: "Mom, the back table always kicks my stool!" ”
Mother: "Did you tell the teacher?" ”
Xiaomi: "Tell me,."The teacher said that it was such a trivial matter, and he had to say it in class, which would affect the class, and he would talk about it after class. But after class, the teacher didn't care, and told the head teacher, and the head teacher just asked Xiaofeng not to kick anymore, butXiaofeng doesn't listen, or kicks!
This kind of thing is actually quite difficult to deal with.
For teachers, class teachers, the act of kicking the stool is wrong, but after all, it has no big impact, that is, the child is beaten. But naughty children, just talking about it simply, it's useless!
For parents, this doesn't seem to be a big mistake, for this reason, looking for the other party's parents, it seems to be a bit "on the line";
Just for Xiaomi, good in class, being kicked on the stool by others, really affects the concentration in class, it's really annoying!
It's called"Minor problem ** annoying".
Then, my mother taught Xiaomi a trick:"The next time he kicks you on the stool, you'll fake falling to the ground! And then cry! ”
Xiaomi immediately used this trick, fell to the ground, crying aggrievedly, Xiaofeng was also very confused: "I don't need much strength!" ”
The teacher reprimanded: "You didn't use much strength, you kicked and wrestled the little girl!" ”
Then, Xiaofeng apologized, Xiaomi forgiven, Xiaofeng's parents also apologized in a private message after they found out, presumably Xiaofeng was also disciplined at home, and then Xiaofeng never dared to kick Xiaomi's stool again.
Although the method is a bit "green tea", the effect is really good, teachers and parents have paid attention to it, and finally it is done once and for all.
Regarding the fact that Xiaomi was kicked on the stool by the back table, in fact, Xiaomi's mother's approach, Dad did not support it.
Because Dad thinks it's not a big deal, and he falls down and pretends to be weak, isn't this touching porcelain?
First of all, parents should know that there is no "big or small" bullying.
It's not that if the child is injured or really hurts, it can be regarded as being bullied. If someone else's behavior against a child makes the child feel uncomfortable and dissatisfied, then it is bullying.
The "little bullying" in the eyes of parents is not a big deal, but the child is dissatisfied and uncomfortableIf the child must "endure" it, then the child will gradually become a "coward" in the eyes of others, and he is a cowardly object.
Sooner or later, this "little bully" will turn into a "big bully".
When the time comes, either the child's resistance will be extremely fierce, causing irreversible serious consequences, or the child will continue to be bullied because the child no longer has the courage to resist.
Therefore, parents must first understand that there is no "size" in bullying, and if you are uncomfortable, you have to find a way to make yourself comfortable!
Being kicked on a stool is bullying;
Being nicknamed is bullying;
Being poked with a pen is also bullying....
When children deal with this kind of "bullying" again and again, in fact, emotional intelligence, social skills, self-protection ability, etc., are constantly improving.
After taking the child to know "bullying", parents should also give tricks to make the child "not easy to mess with", how to do it?
Method 1: Let the child be "tough".
United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCOThe study revealed:1 in 3 students in the world has been bullied.
Do parents understand the mindset of a "bully"?
Psychologically speakingIn bullying time, the party who implements the bullying is more forSeeking self-affirmation, gaining a certain sense of control, conquest, superiority, etc., through contempt, teasing, and insulting others
In such a psychological state, they are not strong, and they are more willing to find a "weak" to meet their psychological needs, so such children often have negative psychological hints of "bullying the weak and fearing the strong".
Therefore, parents should teach their childrenWhen encountering some "little bullies", you must be "tough" and let others feel the brave state of the child "dare to fight you to the end", so that others will think that your child is "not easy to mess with".So as to strangle "bullying" in the cradle.
The second method is to let children learn to deal with different "bullying".
Of course, there will be some children, who really don't get diesel.
You are tough, and he also bullies you with a smile;
You relented, and he bullied you with a smile.
There are many types of bullyingIn the face of various "bullying", how should children deal with it?
A lot of the time,Children only have one trick, and that is to "tell the teacher".Just, a lotThe teachers are also "and muddy".There are some "old fritters" that simply can't be solved.
So Xiaomi's mother came up with such a "green tea" method.
When the child encounters a problem, it is inevitable that he will not know how to deal with it, at this time, parents can analyze why the child told the teacher, and finally the deal was not in place, why the child likes to bully you, or analyze, the child's weakness is in ** and so on.
The purpose of analysis is to find a solution to a problem.
But as long as the child "understands people's hearts", then the child can easily solve these things such as socialization and bullying.
Method 3: Relevant extracurricular reading "blessing".
Of course, it is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish, and parents often do not understand the whole picture of some things, or parents themselves have no good tricks and do not know how to teach their children, then, yesPrepare relevant extracurricular reading for your child and "bless" your child.
Xiaomi's mother prepared a set of "Anti-Bullying Awareness Books for Children to Understand" suitable for primary school students, which was also strongly recommended by Lu Qin, a well-known family education expert.
There are 4 books in this set, which are:"Say "No" to School Violence", "Learn to Protect Yourself", "Goodbye, Glass Heart", "Long Live Friendship".
withComic book storiespresents one after another stories that are close to campus and real lifeHere, children can empathize, help children grow psychologically, and let children learn how to deal with bullying, how to protect themselves, how to become tough, and how to gain good friends in the situation!
A child with strong social skills will have a much lower probability of being bullied and bullied!
Using extracurricular books to educate children about spiritual growth is relatively more comprehensive than that of parents!
Parents can read with their children, and then analyze them according to their children's actual situation in school to help them grow!
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