Yan Cheng is my name, and I am 55 years old this year.
I come from a small village in the central part of Shandong Province, where I was born and raised.
There are five siblings in the family, and I am the third.
My father is a military veteran, more than 1.8 meters tall, and he always walks with his head held high. Although he only had a junior high school education, he learned a lot from his grandfather. My grandfather was a teacher at a private school, and later switched to teaching night school, and my father learned a lot of cultural knowledge and wisdom from my grandfather.
My father served in the army for seven years and could have had a great future there.
However, just as he was about to make a big career in the army, his grandfather suddenly fell ill and could no longer work.
At that time, my family worked in the production team to earn a share of the work. If the main labor force in the family falls, the children will not be able to eat.
In order to give his brothers and sisters a full meal, my father had to leave the army and return to the village in heartache.
He had dreamed of a military career, but that dream came to an abrupt end at that moment. Despite this, he often shared his experience in the army with us and always told me that a good man should serve his country and train himself through the army.
Under my father's words and deeds, my eldest brother enlisted in the army. I vividly remember when the eldest brother put on his military uniform and was ready to go, the whole family went to see him off. Seeing him in that grass-green military uniform, I was envious.
My father saw my emotions and whispered to me, "Don't envy your brother, as long as you Xi study hard, if you choose to enlist in the army in the future, you will be better than your brother." ”
At that time, the enthusiasm for being a soldier was especially high in our village. For rural youth, in addition to being a soldier, it is necessary to go to university. These two paths are the key ways to change your fate.
I made up my mind to study hard. It's even better if you get into college. I will do my part for the country and work hard.
If I can't get into college, I will choose to enlist in the army, sharpen myself in the barracks, become a qualified soldier, and strive to stay in the army to win glory for the country and my hometown.
Our village is relatively remote, there are two key high schools in the county, and there is also a high school in our township.
Although I could have gone to high school in the county seat according to my score, it was too far away and the transportation was inconvenient, so I had to walk at that time.
My father advised me to go to a nearby school because our family was not wealthy. If you go to the county seat to study, you have to live in the school, you need to bring a week's worth of food, and the food will spoil in the summer, and we can't afford the cost of the canteen.
Although I had longed to go to the county seat to study, it was a new and prosperous world for me.
Once I was seriously ill, my father borrowed a rack car and dragged me to the county seat to see a doctor, which was the first time I had the opportunity to go there.
I was dazzled by the tall buildings, and the cars on the street made me even more curious.
But our family situation is there, the family has a large population, and my parents depend on farming to make a living, and I can't add to the burden on the family.
I had to choose a regular high school nearby. Although I tried hard to study Xi, under various restrictions, only one student was admitted to the junior college during the college entrance examination, and all the others failed to make the list.
After falling off the list, I had a period of loss, but fortunately, my inner dream of serving the country has always inspired me.
In the fall of 1988, when a conscription notice came on the village radio, I was so excited that I immediately trotted to sign up.
The physical examination was successfully passed, and the political examination was no problem. The family has been poor farmers for generations, and both the father and elder brother are veterans.
Finally, I also put on that green military uniform, just like my big brother did back then.
The moment I put on the uniform, the excitement brought tears to my eyes. With a straight back and a determined gaze, I have become a soldier from now on, how sacred this title is!
At that time, 308 people in our county enlisted in the army, and 98 people were assigned to a certain unit in Hebei. We took the train for three days and three nights and arrived in a city in Hebei Province, where we set up a temporary station.
Recruit training is hard, but for me, everything seems insignificant.
I come from a rural area and my family is living in extremely difficult conditions, so in my opinion, the training in the army is not very difficult.
Life in the army is indeed much better than at home. When we were at home, we ate sweet potato peel pancakes almost every day, and fine grains can only be enjoyed once on special occasions.
When I came to the army, we had big white steamed buns to eat every day, and our lives were much better, which gave me no reason not to devote myself to training.
In the army, we were all eagerly waiting for letters from home and eager to know the news of our hometown.
Every time my father wrote to me, he would tell me to work hard in the army and strive to stay and develop.
After my eldest brother was discharged from the army, he continued to teach me and share his experience in the army.
I kept in mind the advice of my father and eldest brother, worked hard to improve myself in the army, and was strict with myself. At that time, I graduated from high school, and with some cultural background and all-round development, I ended up staying in the army and becoming a volunteer.
My wife works in a factory in the county, and we chose to make our home there. I took out all my savings, my wife contributed the dowry, and we bought two houses as a wedding house.
In 1994, I transferred from the army to work in the local government, and my fellow countryman, Lao Li, also changed jobs with me.
Lao Li's father was a retired employee of the Post and Telecommunications Bureau, and when Lao Li changed jobs, he wanted to go to the Commercial Bureau, because the Commercial Bureau was very popular at that time. But his father insisted that he inherit the family business and chose the post and telecommunications office. Although Lao Li was reluctant, he finally complied with his father's wishes.
Even though my father was a true farmer, I always had a lot of respect for him and I was willing to ask him for advice when it came to something important.
When I asked him about my options, my father failed to provide practical advice. He only said, "Son, you can make up your own mind about this matter." I don't know much about things outside, but if I ask about things in the village, I'll know better. But I don't know the situation in the county either. ”
At that time, the county's supply and marketing cooperatives were in dire need of military professionals like me, and they gave me generous conditions, even saying that I could transfer my wife there and arrange for her to take an easy job.
At that time, the staff of the supply and marketing association were treated quite well, and my wife and I decided to join after discussion.
In the first few years, I worked very well in the supply and marketing cooperatives, the work was not tiring, relaxed and happy, mainly to check the reports of the township supply and marketing cooperatives, and occasionally went out to investigate.
I am also very satisfied with the salary and I am very satisfied with the job.
However, the development of society could not be **, and by 1996, I began to vaguely feel a crisis.
Factories in our local area have closed down, and workers have lost their jobs and are starting to fend for themselves.
I began to worry about how long the supply and marketing cooperatives would be able to hold out if all the state-owned enterprises in the county went out of business
The days became uneasy and worried, but the situation did not go as planned.
Not long after, the supply and marketing cooperatives we worked for went bankrupt and closed, and my wife and I became laid-off workers.
At the same time, I heard that Lao Li had served as the deputy director of the Post and Telecommunications Bureau, and his career was developing smoothly. In stark contrast, I became a laid-off worker, lost my job, and my future became blurred.
I've reached a certain age, but I don't have any special skills or expertise. What can I do in this situation?
When I first lost my job, I was very depressed. After many years of training in the army, I returned to work, but I didn't expect the job to disappear so suddenly.
I found it difficult to face the people who returned to the village, and I was worried that I would be speechless when asked by my parents and fellow villagers.
However, no matter what, I have to face reality. As a man, I have the responsibility to provide for my family, and I have to carry the burden of this family.
My wife had a relative who owned a restaurant, and there was a shortage of staff, so I had to go and help.
When I first started working in a restaurant, I was embarrassed to meet acquaintances. Once, a classmate came to a restaurant for dinner, and I kept my head down and was busy.
Unexpectedly, one of the classmates still recognized me, and he said in surprise: "Oh, isn't this our senior officer classmate?"How did you end up working as a waiter here?Are you here to experience life?”
I embarrassedly explained that I was unemployed and had nothing to do at home, so I came to my relative's restaurant to help.
They nodded in understanding, looking at infinite sympathy.
A classmate patted me on the shoulder and said, "There are always ups and downs in life, don't be discouraged." We are all migrant workers, don't we also have a good life?In the future, we will come here to gather and support each other. ”
My classmates didn't look down on me, and their words warmed my heart. Since then, the business of the restaurant has not been very good, but with my classmates coming often, it has brought a lot of customers. My relatives were very happy and gave me a bonus every month.
Slowly, I adapted to life as unemployed. At a relative's restaurant, I started cleaning and serving food, and gradually I was assigned to the kitchen as a side dish.
My relatives saw that I was diligent and reliable, so they asked me to learn how to stir-fry Xi from the chef.
At first, it was quite difficult to learn how to Xi spoon, and the stir-fry spoons in the restaurant were made of pure iron, which was a bit heavy, and it would be a little laborious to hold it with one hand.
Watching the chef handle the spoon with ease, I understood that the problem was that I lacked proper Xi.
After the guests left, I often hid alone in the kitchen to practice Xi spooning. After a period of hard work, I finally mastered the technique and no longer let the food spill out of the spoon.
In order to learn Xi from the chef, I even went out of my way to buy two cigarettes and gave them to him.
It took me three years to get out of him.
After becoming a chef, I didn't choose to leave, and I still stayed in my relative's restaurant to help.
At the time, my son was in high school and was spending a lot. He was not in good health, and I was desperate to earn more money and buy him some supplements.
My parents are getting older, and life is not easy for the other siblings in the family. Their livelihood in the village is even more difficult than mine, and I regularly provide my father with living expenses every month.
The two small bungalows we live in are often flooded when it rains due to their low terrain.
The neighbors moved away, and we were the only ones left. In order to solve this problem, my wife and I had to borrow again and use all our savings to buy a small house with a top floor of 60 square meters.
In order to pay off my debts, I have been working diligently as a cook in a relative's restaurant, while my wife helps people sell vegetables at the morning market.
We're all doing hard work, and we're all getting what we're earning.
I've always pinned all my hopes on my son. At that time, I was not able to get into the university, which became a regret in my heart.
Although my later military life has enriched my life, after all, the current situation is not satisfactory.
However, I regret that my son has only completed a college degree and is majoring in architecture.
After three years of college, I realized how hard it was to find a job. My son is not highly educated, and he submitted a lot of resumes but was rejected.
Eventually, my son had to work for a construction company in our county. His monthly salary is only 4,000 yuan.
If my son alone buys a house, it will have to wait a long time, and my wife and I discussed that we plan to work hard to save some money for my son to buy a house.
Actually, we just paid off the debt we owed to buy a house not long ago, and I wanted to take a break. Over the years, I have been working as a chef, and my shoulders are often sore, frozen shoulder is severe, and sometimes it hurts so much that I can't sleep at night, and I even have trouble turning over.
I had plasters all over my shoulders.
In order to make more money, I left the restaurant owned by my relatives and went to a luxurious hotel in our county. Chefs are paid a higher salary, 8,000 yuan a month.
One day, I was cooking in the back kitchen, and after I was busy, I changed my clothes and was about to go to the bathroom, when I suddenly ran into Lao Li. He was washing his hands there.
Lao Li was very surprised and said happily: "Lao Yan, where have you been all these years?"I didn't see you at the comrades-in-arms gathering, did you come here to eat too?”
I was a little embarrassed to see Lao Li. In the first few years after changing jobs, I attended the August 1st comrades-in-arms gathering every year, but after I lost my job, I rarely attended.
I only keep in touch with my comrades-in-arms who work in our county, and I feel that Lao Li is the leader, so I am embarrassed to have more contact with him.
I had to tell the truth: "I've been a chef all these years, and now I've changed restaurants and work here." ”
Lao Li nodded and said, "Oh, I understand." Today my relatives from the countryside came to visit my mother, and I invited them to eat here. Let's have a good talk another day. You have to come to the comrades-in-arms party, everyone misses you a lot. ”
After Lao Li left, I felt a little lost in my heart. According to his comrades-in-arms, Lao Li was already the main person in charge of the Post and Telecommunications Bureau.
On that day, he was dressed in a low-key manner, wearing a slightly whitish tracksuit and black sneakers.
Although he looks low-key, the confidence and satisfaction in his eyes cannot be hidden. At a glance, it is a middle-aged person who is doing well. He was at least ten years younger than me, though he was actually only two years younger than me.
I heard that Lao Li's wife works in the ** department, and his son found a job in Beijing after graduating from graduate school.
At the same time, I was faced with oil smoke day after day, and the heat of stir-frying became my constant companion, and over the past few years, my body gradually became a little overwhelmed.
My wife repeatedly advised me not to continue, but the pressure at home made it impossible for me to back down. There are old and young people in the family, and I can't escape this responsibility.
My parents are over 90 years old, and the number of hospitalizations is increasing due to frequent illnesses. I basically bear the medical expenses every time, and thousands of dollars are not uncommon.
If I don't keep trying, how will the family sustain it?
Looking at Lao Li's achievements, I can't help but envy. He was the director of the post and telecommunications bureau, and I was just a laid-off cook. We used to be on the same page, but now the gap is too big.
It's all my own choice, what's the point of complaining?It's better to work with all your might.
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