Reading guide: Why do some people say "son-in-law don't go to the grave, go to the grave to insult the ancestors"?What does this saying mean?In addition to sons-in-law, what other three kinds of people should not go to the grave?This article will reveal the cultural implications behind these ancient traditions.
Son-in-law, in modern society, status is more and more valued, and he has become a favored member of many families. However, in ancient China, there was a saying: "Son-in-law should not go to the grave, go to the grave to insult the ancestors." What kind of cultural connotation does this sentence contain?In addition to sons-in-law, what other three kinds of people are considered unfit to go to the grave?Let's take a closer look.
Why do you say "son-in-law don't go to the grave, go to the grave to insult the ancestors"?
This proverb means that a son-in-law should not go to the grave of his father-in-law or mother-in-law, because doing so would be seen as an insult to his ancestors. However, it should be emphasized that the "insult to the ancestors" mentioned here does not mean that the son-in-law insults his ancestors, but the ancestors of the father-in-law's family. As can be seen from this ancient term, in ancient folklore, the participation of sons-in-law in sacrificial activities was not recognized. Although modern people may find this statement outdated, believing that the participation of sons-in-law in ancestor worship is a sign of respect and remembrance, in ancient times, people did not take it seriously.
In ancient times, sacrifice was a very solemn ritual, usually presided over by the male of the family. In our country, there is a tradition of going to the grave to worship ancestors before the Qingming Festival, the Zhongyuan Festival and the Chinese New Year. The purpose of this event is to remember the ancestors, pray for the blessings of the ancestors, and hope for a better life in the future. There were a series of rules for those who participated in ancestor worship activities, so the participation of a son-in-law as an outsider was considered unacceptable under the traditional concept of the time.
In ancient societies, the distinction between men and women was valued, especially in the traditional concept of patriarchy. If the family has only daughters and no sons, they will not only be looked down upon in the village, but they may also be ridiculed and bullied. After the daughter got married, she became a member of someone else's family, and her mother's family became a relative. There is a saying that "a daughter who marries out is the water that is spilled." This statement highlights the low status of women at the time. Therefore, after a daughter marries, she generally does not return to her parents' house to worship her ancestors, because that is already the ancestor of her husband's family. If the son-in-law goes to the grave for the father-in-law or mother-in-law, it only means that there is no male offspring in the father-in-law's family who can carry out sacrifices, that is, there is no successor. In ancient times, this was regarded as a very unfilial act, because "there are three unfilial pieties, and no queen is greater". Therefore, the saying "son-in-law does not go to the grave, and insults the ancestors on the grave" is actually born under the influence of the concept of men and women in feudal society and the inheritance of clans, which is difficult for modern people to understand.
Neither can the three kinds of people go to the grave.
In addition to sons-in-law, there are three kinds of people who are considered unsuitable for graves in our country, do you know which three kinds of people they are?
The first type is the elderly man. In some places, the grave is usually presided over by the male of the family, and the elderly in their sixties and seventies generally do not go to the grave in person. This is because cemeteries are generally located in remote wilderness, and the elderly are already old and sick, and going to the grave is prone to cold, affecting their mood, and may even cause diseases.
The second type is women who are pregnant. Pregnant women are relatively weak and are prone to accidents when participating in grave visits, which is not only bad for the pregnant woman herself, but may also endanger the health of the fetus.
The third type is people who are sick or recovering from a serious illness. This statement also makes sense, because for this type of person, once the mood is affected, it can have a negative impact on physical health. In particular, people who are recovering from a serious illness need to recuperate, and if they travel long distances or get cold during the process of going to the grave, their condition may worsen.
With the Spring Festival approaching, many parts of our country are carrying out the Xi of worshipping ancestors in the previous year. If your hometown has these traditional sayings, it's important to pay attention. Especially for whether the son-in-law can participate in ancestor worship, this point needs to be especially careful, because in rural areas, it may cause some people to criticize, and rumors are often the most terrible**.