A girl came to me and cried out about her disappointment and confusion about her marriage. She told me that she couldn't get over it anymore and didn't know what to do
I suggested that she get a divorce, but she was worried that she was already 27 years old, and it would be difficult to find a good home after divorce, and she would be 30 in a few years, and she would not have the advantage of competing with those 20-year-old girls.
So, I told her she could try to make do with it. But she added that she had had enough of this life, and her tears were dry, and she didn't want to settle any further. I suggested that she sit down and have a good talk and find out the problems in the marriage.
However, she added that she found out that her husband was cheating, and they had a big fight about it, and his husband even beat her. Before, her husband was not like this, but this matter made a big fuss, she filed for divorce, and her husband's parents also came to beg her for forgiveness. She couldn't bear it, but the more the days passed, the more aggrieved and tired she felt.
I again suggested a divorce, but she was worried that it would be difficult for her to live with her children. "I'm 27 years old, it's hard to live with kids, I can't afford to gamble," she said. I also want to give my children a complete home. Maybe when my children are in their 20s, I will divorce and live the rest of my life for myself. ”
She also said: "The marriage you choose, how can you complain." ”
I asked her rhetorically, "Why don't you go to the vegetable market and buy rotten fruits, stewed meat, and stale vegetables?"Why don't you go shopping and pick clothes that are on the big side, nasty colors, and outdated styles?When you go to a restaurant, why don't you order hot and sour noodles if you hate spicy, why don't you order yellow braised chicken if you hate chicken?Actually, you're not stupid, you're just unwilling. ”
Do you know what the worst love looks like?
It's that he loves you, but it's a little bad. If he's completely bad, you'll leave when you're disappointed. It's a pity that he's not bad enough.
During the argument, he hit you with his hand, then apologized to you crying, bought you flowers the next day, and you forgave him. The next time we quarrel, he hits you again, and then he kneels down and begs you for forgiveness, there is absolutely no next time. The next day he bought you a bag and you forgave him again. If he's completely bad, you'll leave when you're desperate. It's a pity that he's not bad enough.
He's cheating, and you're going to get a divorce. He swore in front of your parents, tears in his eyes, and it was heartfelt. You didn't leave him. The next day he took you to the movie again, and you forgave him again.
How sad and pitiful such a marriage is!He changed his ways, and you choose to forgive for the sake of your child. You don't think he's bad, he still loves you, so you put up with his domestic violence and cheating again and again. Your bottom line is challenged again and again, as if nothing is unforgivable.
Yes, he's not that bad, at least not that bad. He can always find your weakness and hurt you again and again. He watched you in pain, he also felt distressed, and then kindly bought you a band-aid, you see, how much he loves you, and even used a Mickey Mouse band-aid, how cute.
You ask yourself, why don't you leave him completely?It's because he's not that bad, so he's still worthy of forgiveness. It's like a fish nugget in the refrigerator, a little bit of a bad taste, coated in flour, fried in oil, and it's fine. At most, it's diarrhea, right?
Marriage, isn't that what it is?Make do with it for a lifetime, endure it and it will pass. Wait a little longer, when he grows old together, he won't have the strength to commit domestic violence, he won't have the strength to cheat, everything will be fine.
Girl, marriage is your own choice, and you went for love at the beginning. But then what?
A marriage that has not grown is like boiling a frog in warm water, the fire burns more and more, and the frog finally dies. You feel that it's a pity to throw it away, so you stir-fry Pixian bean paste with hot oil, stir-fry the umami with green onions, ginger, garlic, peppercorns, and peppercorns, and the soy sauce is colored with cooking wine to increase the fragrance.
Unfortunately, most people in marriage will only complain when they see the frog dead, but they do not mention that the last handful of firewood that cooked the frog was added by themselves.
Tolerance, compromise, and kindness all have a bottom line.
The flowers on the balcony don't die of drought in a day, the food in the fridge doesn't go bad in a day, and the hidden clothes in the washing machine don't fill up with one or two pieces. The person you once loved was also a star, but later, in the bargaining with life, you used love as a coupon to redeem.
Is it really hopeless that a marriage that can't go on?
Divorce is really not the most important thing. The most important thing is that you can't live in a muddle. You need to find your strength and courage to face life's difficulties and challenges.
Even if there is no possibility of salvation in this marriage, you should be brave enough to go out and find your own happiness and growth. Don't let the past hold you back in the way of your future and life path. You have to find something that will make your blood boil, and now there is still a chance to struggle. When you are mired in the quagmire and your combat effectiveness is gone, your life is ruined.
You can't afford someone who wants to break up with you. He decided that you loved him more, so he didn't propose to break up, but hung you and waited for you to speak. Then, he plays the innocent man who was abandoned.
You know, you might still be lucky that one day he'll come back to you. You still put on your apron and wash your hands to make soup for him, as you did before. You think he must love you after seeing the whole world and coming back. No, he just swept his battlefield, and no girl wanted to be fooled.
We often say stop loss in time, but you are not reconciled. You put so much emotion into it, even if you have a dog, the dog loses its hair, and it is sad. Lead to the pet hospital to see what is wrong, not to mention loving someone and exhausting youth.
Therefore, you are angry, "The old lady is just consuming with you, just if you don't divorce, what can you do with me". Yes, he does have nothing to do with you, but time will not spare you, it will do nothing for your life and make you a waste.
You could have lived your life wonderfully, but that marriage internal friction easily took away all the possibilities of your happiness.
Yes, he's not bad, to be precise, it's not completely bad, but it's enough to make you slow down.
You are willing to hand over all your hole cards in this gentle trap. It's good that you're happy, because we all know that it's shameless to wake up someone who has a sweet dream.
But the hardest thing in life is to lie to yourself.
You don't have to gamble your whole life on a bad marriage. You either have the ability to make him fall in love with you again, or you have the ability to leave him at any time. In short, don't stand stupidly and wait for him to change his mind.
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