1 My cousin went to the school for a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher left him alone and said that he wanted to talk to him, and then said meaningfully: "Your son has his own ideas and has a bright future" The cousin asked worriedly, "What's wrong?".Teacher: "I asked him if he wanted to be the class leader?"He asked me how much I was paid a year as a shift leader. ”
2. An electric welder opened an electric welding shop, and the shop was named: Welding Emperor Wu. Everyone praised the name of the shop, and he was very proud. On this day, he went to the candy store next door to show off, and the candy store owner pulled him to look at the name of his store: Sugar Taizong. The owner of the candy shop pointed to the cake shop not far away: Han Cake Zu. The two were silent together. At this time, a dung digger rode a dung truck past the two of them, and the two took a closer look at the dung truck and there were three big characters written on it: Capture the.
3 After school, my dad drove to pick me up. Me: Dad, hurry up, I have a cold.
Dad: Seriously, noTake a taxi home, don't infect me.
After saying that, he drove away ......Am I your own?
4After graduation, I couldn't find a job and stayed at home all day to play games, and my mother said to me in disappointment: "You are an adult, and you still play games at home all day, what can you do in the future?" ”
A sentence woke up the dreamer: "Yes, I'm an adult, and I can go to an Internet café to play games." ”
5 recently got a girlfriend, but I didn't expect her family to disagree, especially his husband, who was really ruthless!
6 quarreled with my wife, has been a cold war, today at noon, my wife suddenly went to the toilet, I ate the dish is a little light, I took out the salt in the bag and sprinkled it in the dish, stirred!My son stared at me with big eyes At this moment, my wife came out of the toilet, and as soon as she sat down, she was holding chopsticks and preparing to pick up the dishes, and my son kept staring at his mother, and my wife quickly put the dishes in her mouth. The son was anxious: Mom, don't eat ......This dish is poisonous.
7 A little monk ran to the old monk in a panic and said with great remorse: "Master, today, I killed a life, absolutely not on purpose. The master said, "Monks, abstain from killing." ”
The little monk said, "I urinated in the wild, but I didn't expect to drown an ant. ”
The master said, "The ants are burned to death by your urine, and in the future, when you urinate outside, you can put it in the palm of your hand, and then pour it out when it is cold!."”
When I was 8 years old, I had just finished snowing and went out with my parents after dinner. My mother watched a few children playing in the snow, and smiled happily: "Look, how happy the children are!."Dad also laughed and said, "Do you like to watch snowball fights?"Mom: "Yes." When my dad heard this, he threw me into the snow and kept throwing snow at me. My mother smiled and said distressed to my father, "Don't freeze the child." "The snow almost buried me before my dad stopped, and I struggled out of the snow on my own, and I was in a state of confusion from start to finish......When I saw my mother holding my father's hand, I cried on the spot as soon as I pouted!
9. A young child came to get the injection.
I coaxed him and said, "Don't look at it, be good, it won't hurt if you don't look at it." ”
He said solemnly: "Uncle, I am small, but not stupid.
10A little tiger came over slowly, blushing and asked the little white rabbit, "Excuse me, can I eat you?"The little white rabbit thought this question was quite funny and asked, "Is it the first time you eat an animal?"Little Tiger was even more embarrassed: "Yes, Mom is not at home. So what did you eat before?"What?Be louder, I can't hear it.
11 I went to the flower and bird market to buy hamsters, and wanted to try the character of the rat dealer, so I pretended not to understand and asked: "Can two hamsters be raised in one cage?"The rat dealer said sincerely, "No, two of them will fight in one cage." Just as he was thinking that he had a conscience, the rat dealer added: "Why don't you buy three, so that when the one fights, there will be someone to persuade him to fight." ”
12. "If I don't get married for the rest of my life, will I be troubled?"”
No one to support the elderly....”
All sorts of gossip....”
You will not get back a dime of money from the people you have gone out with in this life."
Knot, end tomorrow. ”