Do not act willfully, and do not speak willfully.
The ancients said: "It is better to make people have the joy of seeing at first sight, than to make them tired of being bored for a long time." ”
When you fall in love, it's always easy to have a moment's heartbeat;stay together, but it is difficult to have tolerance after a long time.
It is a pity that some feelings, although they have endured the difficulties of life, cannot withstand the trivial troubles of daily life.
In fact, the best way for husband and wife to get along is often inseparable from an understanding of words.
Only by understanding this word can we better stay with each other in ordinary days.
knows how to pretend to be stupid, and doesn't calculate everything
I've seen a very interesting analogy:
A happy marriage is made up of a woman who turns a blind eye and a man who does not listen to him. ”
When you think about it, it makes perfect sense.
It is impossible for two completely different people to get along without differences.
If you only talk about reasoning and don't talk about feelings, you will only feel uncomfortable everywhere.
So it's always wiser to close one eye than to keep your eyes open;It is always wiser to put the left ear and then the right ear than to put it in the heart.
In the program "Hundred Lectures", Yu Dan has always been known for his quick thinking and rich learning, which has been admired by many people.
Especially when interpreting "Analects" and "Zhuangzi", the understanding of human feelings and sophistication makes the audience remember it vividly.
However, in life, she is a person who is very good at pretending to be confused.
A host once asked her: "You are so smart, which man can be worthy of you?"”
Yu Dan smiled and said, "I never bring my brain home." ”
is such a seemingly confused Yu Dan, but he has a harmonious marriage and a happy family, and he always holds happiness firmly in his hands.
The Tao Te Ching says: "Great courage is cowardly, great wisdom is foolish." ”
No one is a fool, but we are relatively entangled in the details, and we prefer to feel the thing called happiness.
Husband and wife get along, holding on to things with a magnifying glass, and life will only be full of endless quarrels.
Dispensable little things, you might as well "pretend to be deaf";Meaningless disputes, know to "be dumb";Innocuous details, a lot of "learning blind".
If you don't take the days seriously, you can live a relaxed and happy life for the two.
Know how to be soft and be able to stop at the right time
Lin Yutang was born in a family in a mountain village with beautiful mountains and rivers, which makes his personality very free and easy.
And his wife Liao Cuifeng is a typical young lady, calm and dignified.
When two people with very different personalities get along with each other, there will inevitably be friction in life.
However, every time the conflict was about to expand, Lin Yutang would take the first step to smile and soften and take the initiative to apologize.
Because he believes that it is always better to say less than more.
The Tao Te Ching says: "Those who are good at fighting are not angry, those who are good at being soft do not argue, and those who are good at winning do not fight." ”
In marriage, what buries love is always the stubbornness of the mouth and the meaningless face.
And a wanton battle of words, I don't know if it will become a lifelong regret.
In life, how many good marriages are trapped in the unwillingness to "not bow their heads".
The ancients said: "Don't act willfully, and don't speak willingly." ”
In a good marriage, you should think more about your own mistakes before acting and talking, and always think about the feelings of the other party.
It is always better to bow your head in turn than to be able to speak well;Enough is always better than reasoning.
Only one person knows how to back down, and the other person understands at the right time, and two people can be happy.
In this way, between advance and retreat, the marriage can be managed calmly for a long time.
Know how to be measured, and be familiar with it
Rene Liu once said that her married life:
She and her husband each have their own bedroom, study, and only the living room and kitchen are common.
When they go out together, one goes to the left and the other to the right, each doing what they like.
Many people think that the unthinkable behavior is common between the two of her.
In fact, before getting married, Liu Ruoying told her husband that she wanted to maintain her hobbies and career, and did not want to be a full-time wife.
And her husband also agrees very much and supports Liu Ruoying's singing and writing.
The two of them, each with their own world, also stand together hand in hand when they need each other.
As the old saying goes, "Respect each other as guests." ”
No matter how intimate a relationship is, it is not without distance.
In marriage, we need to give some trust and know some respect.
After all, the husband and wife are like two trees, if they are too close together, the branches and leaves will block each other;Too far away to support each other.
A good couple needs to grasp the proportions.
Just like Shu Ting wrote in "To the Oak Tree": It seems to be separated forever, but they are dependent on each other for life.
True love is not about changing each other according to one's own ideas, but about fulfilling each other and growing together.
In the seven points of intimacy, leave three points of leeway, in order to calmly walk between rigidity and softness, and in order to respect each other and make each other wonderful.
Zhang Ailing said: "The greatest happiness in life is to find that the person you love happens to love you. ”
Fate is hard to find, once you meet the right person, don't live up to the rare encounter and true love in this life.
The most reassuring thing in this world is that there are people in three meals and four seasons, holding hands and slowly turning white.
Like it, may you extend the happiness of trivial days with the people you love in the long stream. Please share and promote traditional Chinese culture!