1 The daughter-in-law came over with a few pieces of clothes and motioned me to wash them, but I pretended not to see them, and was trying to find an excuse to go out, when I saw my daughter-in-law looking for things in all corners of the house, and muttered while looking for them: Hey, where did my money go, and where did I put the two thousand yuan I just took out?
I glanced at the clothes, and sure enough, the pockets of one of the clothes were bulging, so I hurriedly picked up the clothes and said loudly to my daughter-in-law: Daughter-in-law, you rest, I will wash these clothes!
As he spoke, he quietly took out the pocket of his clothes, but took out a pack of tissues from his pocket!I looked back at my daughter-in-law depressed, only to see my daughter-in-law sitting calmly on the sofa, and said with a smile: Look at my brain, I forgot, I saved the money again!
2. After shopping at the mall with my wife, I was ready to go home. When I took the elevator downstairs, I didn't know who was farting in the elevator. So I asked my wife: Wife, are you farting, and everyone in the elevator is looking at my wife. My wife: Why don't you say that you have a bad mouth, you are in a panic all day, get out of here!
Student 3: "Teacher, I want to quit school!."”
Teacher: "Drop out?."What do you want to do when you drop out?”
Student: "I want to be Heser!."”
Teacher: "Then you should go to school!."”
Student: "Why?".”
Teacher: "Have you learned how to punch people with your Chinese teacher, have you learned how to slap people with your math teacher, have you learned how to use your English teacher's yelling kung fu, and have you learned how to kick people with your physical education teacher?"”
Student: "Teacher, I'm back in class!."”
4 girlfriend said to **, let me supervise her. On the first day, I made braised pork ribs. The next day, I made chicken stew. On the third day, I made braised fish. Today, I bought a big crab. Finally, my girlfriend beat me up and started to eat a lot. Just kidding, if you lose weight, your seven brothers can let me go.
5. I really admire my EQ ...... back then
A mm, I've been telling my friends around me that I like her and want to chase her or something.
Once I came out of a training with her, and I said to eat together, and she said forget it, or climb the mountain together.
It was already past four o'clock, and in winter, it was dark early, and it was already dark when we climbed to the top of the mountain.
She said that the glasses were not strong enough and she couldn't see in the dark, so she asked me to pull her.
Then I honestly pulled her sleeve down the mountain. (Note: just pull the sleeve!)）
And then, there's nothing else to do with this!
6. The table mate is the person who knows you in the world, he watches you play with your mobile phone in class, watches you cheat in exams, watches you squeeze pimples in the mirror, watches you cry secretly when you are sad, watches you quietly write notes to others, and watches you eat and get your mouth full of oil.
7. Mandarin popularization is too necessary. I was in a coffee shop and listened to the guy at the next table talking to the girl. He asked for the ** number, but the girl didn't give it, saying that he would have to fly back to Sydney soon. The boy asked her which flight she was on, and the girl said she was on the nearest flight. Now that the girl is gone, the boy is booking a ticket to Xining, and if nothing else, he will be in Qinghai tonight!
8My wife loves meat and is worried that she will gain weight, so she said to her husband worriedly, "Husband, if I eat like this, do you think I will become like a pig?"Her husband smiled and comforted her: "How is it possible, no matter how fat you are, you only have two legs!."”
9 See if a woman is confident, after she removes her makeup. See if a man is confident, and see after he falls out of love. Look at a man's taste, look at his socks. To see whether a woman is pampered, you have to look at her hands. To look at a person's qi and blood, you have to look at his hair. To see a person's mind, you have to look at his eyes. Look at a person's worth, look at his opponent. To look at a person's hole cards, you have to look at the friends around him.
10How difficult is it to be a scumbag in a top student family?You can imagine a grandmother who speaks Japanese, a grandfather who is proficient in English and Korean, a father who is a Chinese teacher, a mother who is a math teacher, and an older sister who is level 8 in English. As a scumbag, what I hate the most is that I go home on vacation.,Shenma winter vacation and summer vacation.,It's so annoying!