62-year-old Aunt Zhong, when she just retired, was full of joy to find those declining friendships in the past and reconnect with some relatives and friends who had not been in touch for a long time. Her bright eyes sparkled with joy, and her face was filled with a big smile. Day and night, she visited door to door, chatting with relatives and friends, talking and laughing. At first, Aunt Zhong thought what a happy thing it was!The flowers and trees in the yard seemed to be beckoning to her and sharing this joy with her. Gradually, however, she discovers that this beauty is just wishful thinking on her part. 
When those old friends saw her so enthusiastic, they were no longer polite, and began to ask her for this and that. Aunt Zhong thought about it and agreed. After all, doing an old friend a favor is a gesture. That's it, what makes Aunt Zhong even more unacceptable is that some people not only don't accept her love, but also fall into the ground. For example, an old friend of hers for many years not only owes her tens of thousands of dollars and still hasn't paid it back, but also spreads rumors to the mutual circle of friends behind her back, saying that she is stingy and stingy. All kinds of lies made Aunt Zhong, who was already simple and kind, blame herself and be ashamed. She choked up, her face full of vicissitudes and exhaustion. These sordid social relationships are not something she can bear. Looking at the wrinkled face in the mirror, Aunt Zhong took a deep breath. She decided not to associate with people anymore and to spend the rest of her life quietly alone. Maybe that's what she wants, real relief. 69-year-old Uncle Liao, after the death of his beloved wife and the flight of his children from the nest, the whole person looked extremely lonely and lonely. Once upon a time, he was also a man who made his wife and children proud. And now, facing the empty house alone, Uncle Liao feels lonely like never before. 
In order to break the silence, Uncle Liao began to try various social activities. When he danced with ** in the sun for the first time, his face was filled with long-lost vitality and joy. Dancing and dancing, Uncle Liao has a satisfactory female dance partner. The two of them are nong, you and me, cooperate tacitly. Uncle Liao was overjoyed, as if he had returned to the years when he was in love with his wife. However, the good times did not last long, and this happiness came to naught in a blink of an eye. It turned out that the female dance partner was already famous, and her boyfriend misunderstood the relationship between the two. One day, when Uncle Liao went to the dance appointment with a smile on his face, what was waiting for him was not a gentle dance step, but a violent beating by the other party's boyfriend. Almost enough, he was put on the shameful "third party" hat and has been infamous ever since. Uncle Liao realized that the place where the crowd danced was also the rivers and lakes, and there was never real innocence. The friendship that has been regained with all your heart cannot make up for the emptiness and loneliness in your heart. He could no longer see his former high-spirited self in the mirror, replaced by an old face full of fear. 65-year-old Aunt Meng, who has spent a life of ups and downs, has long been Xi to living alone. But since she retired, the empty house and the feeling of missing her children still made her feel very lonely and lonely. She decided to pack her bags and move in with her son's family to live happily ever after. 
The family was finally reunited, and Aunt Meng happily cleaned up the house and prepared a sumptuous dinner. Her face was filled with happiness, as if she had seen the warm and harmonious picture. However, all these beautiful imaginations were shattered the moment he saw his daughter-in-law. Cold, fussy, unapproachable... This is Aunt Meng's first impression of her daughter-in-law. What made her even more sad was that her son didn't say a few words for her. As the days passed, Aunt Meng worked hard like a free nanny. When her grandson was sick, she blamed her for not taking care of her, and she was blinded by her daughter-in-law when the meal was not ready, all of which made her feel tired. Looking at the face dyed with despair in the mirror, Aunt Meng finally couldn't bear it anymore. She decided to move back to her own house alone and live that peaceful little life. Now Aunt Meng lives freely and happily alone, and finally has a happy smile on her face again. She learned to enjoy time alone, which was much happier than living with her children and being exhausted. As they age, many seniors face both mental and physical needs – a desire for more companionship and a need for space to be alone. If you are overly involved in social interactions, it is easy to get into trouble;But if you don't go out, it will also increase the loneliness of the elderly. 
Therefore, learning to be alone moderately not only satisfies the elderly's desire for private space, but also helps prevent disputes in communication, which is the most reasonable way for the elderly to live. First of all, moderate solitude can reduce the psychological burden of the elderly. In his later years, due to the dilution of archival relationships, it was often necessary to re-establish his social circle. However, interpersonal relationships are complex and changeable, and there are often contradictions and differences due to interests and concepts. If you are too integrated into a certain circle, you will inevitably be involved in right and wrong, and suffer from group misunderstanding and even attack. This is too much pressure for the mild-mannered elderly. In contrast, living alone saves the hassle of interpersonal communication and is more conducive to maintaining inner peace. Secondly, solitude is also conducive to the personal interests of the elderly. Older people have mostly experienced heavy work and often crave more free time after retirement. Too much of it takes up valuable spare time and limits the space for the elderly to pursue personal development. Appropriate solitude can encourage the elderly to explore their hobbies, such as reading, writing, gardening, etc., to make life more meaningful. 
Thirdly, being alone is also an important way for the elderly to examine their hearts and precipitate their lives. Over time, many older people reflect on the most important things in their lives. This requires a solitary environment that focuses on talking to oneself. If there are too many external factors, it will interfere with this process of looking at the heart. Appropriate solitude provides an opportunity for the elderly to look back and find the meaning of life. In summary, moderate solitude is not only beneficial to the mental health of the elderly, but also promotes their personal development, which is the most suitable way to live after retirement. Of course, it is also necessary for the elderly to learn to arrange their time reasonably, not only to maintain a space for solitude, but also to participate in a certain amount of social interaction, so as to prevent excessive isolation and loneliness. Many older people choose to socialize or rely on their children, so why don't these methods lead to true happiness?The reasons can be analyzed from the following aspects:
First of all, excessive socialization is easy to consume the limited social resources of the elderly. Retired seniors tend to be relatively closed and have limited social networks. If you invest too much time and energy in maintaining one circle, it will be difficult to maintain interpersonal relationships in other circles. Over time, the elderly will find that there are fewer and fewer people to rely on, increasing the risks of life. Secondly, dependence on children also faces the problem of an insurmountable generation gap. There is a gap between the worldview of many elderly people and the cognition of younger generations, which will cause contradictions in the details of life. The generation of children is busy with their careers and families, and they have no time to take care of the small emotions of the elderly, and the generation gap is getting deeper and deeper over time. It is difficult to give the elderly a real sense of belonging. Finally, the elderly also face the limitations of their own material conditions and inability to take care of themselves. With limited pension and lack of savings, you have to rely on others to help you get by. At this time, it is inevitable that people will be used and debts will not be repaid. The resulting sense of shame also deprives the elderly of their sense of belonging and quality of life. 
In summary, excessive socialization and dependence on children may lead to the atrophy of social networks, the widening of the generation gap, and the decline of self-care ability of the elderly. These will aggravate the life anxiety of the elderly and are an important reason for their loss of quality of life. Although solitude is the most suitable way of life for the elderly, there are a few things to be aware of to prevent excessive negative effects: First, actively seek out your own pleasures. Emptiness can easily lead to negative emotions, and the elderly should take the initiative to find interest activities that can be practiced alone to enrich their lives. This can both pass the time and generate a sense of accomplishment, such as writing articles, planting flowers, raising birds, etc. Second, participate in group activities appropriately. Although it is advantageous to be alone, people are social animals after all. Arrange your time reasonably and participate in group activities such as group tours, choirs, etc. once a week to meet basic social needs. 
Third, stay in touch with your child. It is necessary for children to understand the needs of the elderly to be alone, and to make regular home visits to care about the recent situation of the elderly. It is also a consolation for the elderly. At the same time, the elderly should take the initiative to share their thoughts and feelings with the younger generations and increase communication. Fourth, actively participate in public welfare. The elderly who live alone should avoid self-isolation and participate in some group activities of public service, which can not only make more friends, but also make life more meaningful, which is the most ideal way of life. Through the stories of the above three elderly people, it is not difficult to see that appropriate solitude in old age is the most suitable lifestyle for the current physiological and psychological needs of the elderly. It can not only provide a comfortable and private space for the elderly to realize themselves, but also help to get rid of all kinds of negative influences of interpersonal relationships, so that life is more peaceful and harmonious. Therefore, as we move into old age, we should not just mechanically pursue social interaction or rely on people, but learn to actively weigh the pros and cons of different lifestyles. Being alone allows us to focus on our interests and growth, while also avoiding being taken advantage of by others. This is the best way to live for the elderly. 
At the same time, family members and society should respect this need of the elderly. Don't simply think that the elderly are lonely and need to be "rescued". On the contrary, giving the elderly more understanding and space, so that they can enjoy their own time, is the greatest care for the elderly. This requires the joint efforts of the whole society.