1My sister is two years older than me!When I was young, I often fought, and I was always beaten by my sister, and I was finally able to fight, and my sister began to reason with me!Say I've grown up!
2The son did not like to read, so his father shut him up in his study and commanded: "If you look carefully at the book with your eyes and think about it again and again, you will learn from it."After three days, his father asked him if he had learned anything from the book. The son said solemnly, "What you said is good!."I read according to your teachings for three days, and I learned a lot. I understood: the book was printed!”
3When I was in junior high school, a classmate in the class borrowed me a disc with the words "Minors are not allowed to be alone", so I called my parents to watch it together, and my face was swollen that day!
4 Sitting in the train, a man next to me was cross-legged and picked his feet, and he smelled after buckling his feet, in fact, there was no smell, but I felt very uncomfortable, so I silently pulled the heel of my right foot out of the shoe, and then a strong smell came out, and then everyone around except me looked at the man next to me who picked his feet. Then the man put on his shoes, and I put them on.
5. My cousin came back from a holiday in Guangdong, and I went to play with her.
She carried a box of skirts to show off to me, and asked me which one was good-looking, and blamed me for being so sweet and said: You look good in whatever you wear!
But my cousin was so excited, I had to pick out the best-looking one, and I was shivering with only my underwear frozen, and I tried it one by one for more than half an hour!And then ......She had a cold today!
6 bought a Rubik's cube for his son, and he studied it for a long time, without a clue. I glanced at him disdainfully, took the Rubik's Cube and said, "Stupid, look at me!."Then, the hands spun like electricity......I was dazzled by my son. Suddenly, I twisted the Rubik's cube apart!
7 wife: "Honey, is this shredded meat delicious?"”
Husband: "So-so. ”
Wife: "Where's the fish?"”
Husband: "Yes." ”
Wife: "What about this tofu?"”
Husband: "General." ”
The wife couldn't hold back and yelled: "You can't say a good word?."”
My husband, who was drinking soup, shouted, "It's so hot!."”
8 One day, on a whim, he asked his girlfriend: "Between cosmetics, bags, jewelry, clothes, and me, which one do you choose?"Girlfriend: "You." "I was immediately happy, who said that girls value these?My girlfriend won't!Just when she wanted to praise her girlfriend, the woman continued, "Don't pee and take care of yourself, you deserve to appear in these options?"”
9 Today's campus job fair, I went for an interview, and the examiner: "Can you tell me about your strengths?"”
I am a positive-minded and optimistic person. ”
Can you give me an example?”
Absolutely!When do you start going to work?”
10 Mother-in-law is very bad to grandma, 300 yuan a month alimony refuses to pay, once at dinner, mother-in-law began to scold grandma again, I silently said: Are you doing it for me?Mother-in-law finally stopped talking!
11 Women and men are like **, originally optimistic**Buy a hard **, weaknesses and shortcomings that you couldn't see before are exposed;Once thrown out, it becomes so cute in the hands of others.
12A young man got into the car with a rabbit in his arms, and the driver stopped him and shouted, "Don't you see the sign that you are not allowed to take pets in the car?"The young man turned around unhurriedly and said, "Master, this is food!."”
13And his wife said, If thy child does not listen, he should be beaten, but thou shalt not twist his ear all the time. ”
Where are you going to twist?The husband asked.
Spanking, that's a piece of dead meat. ”
You're so confused, can your ass listen?”
14A husband and wife were asleep in their beds.
It was about the middle of the night.
It was as if there was some movement outside that woke his wife up.
The wife was a little dazed and hurriedly woke up her husband next to her.
And said to her husband, "Honey, get up quickly, as if my husband has returned." ”
The husband was woken up by his wife, and he was also in a daze, and after hearing his wife's words, he got up and said, "Why didn't you say it earlier, then where should I hide now?" ”