Hello everyone, I'm "he said", welcome to watch "Life Jokes Collection" (Attached: The weather is getting cold, everyone pay attention to keep warm!Merry Christmas to all today!）
One day, when Xiao Chen was at work, he received a **, and Xiao Chen hurriedly ran to ask for leave after saying a few words.
Xiao Chen said, "Manager!."I'm going to take a leave of absence!My wife is going to have a baby. “
The manager said, "Okay!".You go!“
So Xiao Chen didn't say a word, and left as if flying. Twenty minutes later, Xiao Chen came back a little disheveled. When the manager saw him, he asked, "Why did you come back so soon?"Male or female?“
Xiao Chen panted and said, ".It won't be until 10 months later to find out
During the meal, the principal asked me to find a fewSchoolgirlsI came to accompany the wine to have fun, but as a teacher, how could I do such a hurtful thing. In a hurry, I came to the hall outside and saw that the young ladies of ** looked quite young. So I stepped forward and asked them to go with me, and the desk fee was charged twice as muchThe only requirement is that they must say that they are film school students from beginning to endUnexpectedly, several young ladies cried with joyBig brother, you've really found the right person, we're from the film academy
One day, the director of a psychiatric hospital tested the patient's conditionA door was painted on the wallThen he said to the patients, "Whoever can go out through this door can go home!"”
So, the patients rushed to the door on the wall, but only one of them was indifferent, and the dean, thinking that he was back to normal, asked him, "Why don't you go?"”
The patient replied: ".You're a**?I drew a key here for me, can they get out?
I'm thirty years old, I'm not married, my family urges me to find a boyfriend every time I eat, and when I go home for dinner that day, my mother is nagging and urging me to find a marriage quickly, I said impatiently: ".Mom, don't worry, you have to believe that there will always be someone waiting for me to appear.
Unexpectedly, my mother said, ".What about the baby, don't look for it yet, I'm afraid that person is Lord Luo?
I went to the commissary and bought a drink. I drank half of it and found that it was a copycat, and I had already drunk it, so I didn't say anything. Look at the cap: "One more bottle." ”
immediately told the boss that he had won the lottery, and the boss said calmly: "You take a closer look." ”
I looked at it and dizzy:"Buy another bottle.
The unit will pay benefits during the New Year, what is the constellation will send the corresponding thing.
A colleague is a Pisces, and the company sent two live fish;
A colleague is an Aries, and the company issued a cardigan;
There is also a colleague who is an Aquarius, and the company issued a high-end water cup.
At that time, I was excited, but I was so happy, I never felt that there was anything good about **, and now I made a lot of money.
As a result, the company sent me a copy of the "Company Rules", saying that this is the first work since the establishment of the company. Woooooooooooo
A few years ago, I went to Lijiang to play, and the owner of the famous house was a local and raised itTwo earth dogs
I asked the boss what were the names of the two dogs?
The boss said, "This one is called money, and that one is called lucky." ”
When I heard this, I was stunned, thinking that the boss who looked so simple was still so foreign, so I asked curiously: "Wow, so foreign, it's still an English name!."”
The boss smiled and said, ".Eh, how can there be, in fact, it is Wangcai and Blessing!
The classmate went on a business trip to the city where the female classmate worked, and the woman went to the hotel to visit. talked about personal income, men asked women: ".How much do you have after taxes?
The woman's face flushed, and she replied weakly: "What money do you have to mention when your classmates sleep, even if I invite you today!."“
The mother said to her son: Xiao Ming, you are so old, you still want your mother to hug you, shame on your face!
The son actually said:Aunt Zhang next door is bigger than me, and she is not hugging her father.
Take the car home on vacation, sitting next to me is a beautiful woman like milk tea sister, racking her brains along the way to think about how to talk, but I don't know how to speak, seeing that I am about to arrive at the station, I am anxious to sit still, then my sister glanced at me and said: ".It's coming to the station soon, don't worry, there is a toilet ...... at the station“
Go to a clothing store in the town to buy clothes, do activities in the store, a lot of people. I took off my coat and put it on the hanger and started trying on all kinds of clothes. After a while, I found that my coat was missing!I ran to ask the shopkeeper if he had seen the jacket he had just put here, and the shopkeeper said, "You're late, that one has just been sold!".”
The teacher assigns homework for students to form sentences with "generations" and asks parents to sign them.
One classmate made up the sentence: "Our family."GenerationsBoth have the surname Zhang. ”
After his father read it, he picked up the pen and approved a few words at the back:"It has been read and the situation is true.
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