1 Seeing a depressed beggar squatting at the entrance of the subway, he was very pitiful, and out of compassion threw all the coins on his body into his bowl, he raised his head with the bowl and said to me angrily: You are sick, I will get off the train!I finally ate a bowl of noodles, and you stained me!
2 wife: "If I quarrel with your mother, will you be on my side?"The husband said, "Of course." The wife was very happy: "So, you will deal with your mother with me?"Husband: "I think it's beautiful, I'm going to stand next to you and gag your mouth." "Haha!
3 Fa Xiao just walked out of the community not far today, he found that the mobile phone was stolen, said that it was too late, and he immediately caught up with the thief!When the thief saw the situation, he took out a knife and said that if you follow me again, I will stab you to death!Hair**: Big brother!How can you use it without a charger!I've got it for you!
4 One day I went out to eat hot pot with my wife and friends, the hot pot has not come up, I first touched a small glass of liquor with my friends, and my wife also drank it, and after a while, my wife said that she felt a little dizzy, and she wanted to go to the door to breathe, I hurriedly followed out, only to see my wife with red eyes and said aggrievedly: I am dizzy, the world is spinning. I haven't eaten yet, I haven't eaten yet...I don't want to go, I don't want to go.
5. The coach encourages female students who have just obtained their driver's license to drive boldly on the road.
Female student: "I'm afraid ......."”
Coach: "What are you afraid of, it's someone else you're afraid of, not you!." ”
6 wife: "Husband, if someone buys me for 10 million, will you sell it?"Husband: "Of course not!."The wife was very happy, kissed her husband fiercely, and asked, "Why?"Husband: "You are not worth 10 million, I don't make this kind of unconscionable money!."”
7 While eating ramen, there was a young man next to him who secretly went to add beef while the boss was in the toilet.
How can I sit idly by and ignore this kind of thing?Holding the bowl decisively, he ran and quickly added two spoonfuls.
As soon as he sat down, the young man shouted, "Dad, someone has stolen our beef!."”
8 Soy milk breakfast: Northerners travel to the south and order a bowl of soy milk in the hotel in the morning. The southerners watched him eat with relish and asked curiously, "How's it going?"Is it delicious?The northerner replied vaguely: "The taste is okay, but it's a little light." The southerner smiled and said, "Light?."That's because you haven't added half a bowl of sugar. ”
9 Dad wanted to test whether his daughter in kindergarten could sort out the relationship between family figures, so he asked her, "Who is Daddy's mother?"”
Answer: "Grandma." ”
Asked, "What about Mommy's Mom?"”
Answer: "Grandma." ”
Dad was very happy and asked, "Then who are you grandma?"”
Answer: "Auntie!".”
Asked, "Who are you grandma?"”
Answer: "Little Ancestor!."”
10And when a pony was about to cross the river, the old buffalo saw it and said to him, "Do not be afraid, for the water is shallow, and it is only up to my knees." ”
The little squirrel immediately ran over and shouted, "Don't believe him!".The water was so deep that my friend drowned. ”
The pony didn't know who to listen to, and the mother beside him told him, "Kid, don't pay attention to those two psychopaths, let's walk the bridge." ”
11 Aunt went for a walk in the square in the morning and saw an old man writing big characters on the ground with a sponge pen, and couldn't help but come up to see it.
The old man glanced at his aunt and wrote the word "roll" with a pen.
Aunt thought to herself: Take a look at ?......The old man glanced at the aunt again and wrote "get out".
The aunt couldn't hold back any longer, and went up and kicked the old man to the ground......
When the police came and asked what was going on, the old man said aggrievedly: "I just wanted to write the sentence 'Rolling Yangtze River East Passing Water', but as soon as I wrote the first two words, I was kicked down by this neurotic."
12Thou shalt laugh twelve hours, until I am tired of laughing.
An old man went to see a doctor, and the doctor prescribed him a pair of medicines and told him, "The medicine will work for twelve hours." The old man nodded and walked away with a smile, and the old man laughed as he walked, and when he got home, he kept laughing and laughing. The family asked strangely, "What's the matter with you?" and the old man said, "What kind of medicine is this doctor prescribed, you have to laugh for twelve hours, and you are almost tired of laughing."