If you don't have money, don't learn from other people's "rich" babies, and ordinary families are better at 3 children
So far, I have come to realize that there are differences in starting points between people, and that this difference is largely due to family background and economic conditions.
However, many parents don't seem to fully understand this. Many people think that their children are very smart, and there are even parents who want the best for their children, regardless of their own circumstances. They don't think they can afford to let their children lose to others at the starting line.
So, what exactly is the starting line?
It is possible that the starting line is not only academic performance, but also whether the parents have the material conditions, whether they have time to spend with their children, whether they have a stable mood and a harmonious family environment.
While we understand that every parent wants their child to excel, I would like to remind everyone that parenting should be about "doing your best" and not blindly catering to all of your child's needs. Parents in ordinary families should love their children in a principled way and guide them to learn to be self-reliant, rather than conniving at their willful behavior.
Let's look at a few examples.
Case 1: An elderly man wearing a cleaner's overalls walked into an Apple phone store. The old man looked gray-haired and dark. The clerk may have mistakenly thought that he was here to beg for water to drink, but he didn't expect the old man to walk cautiously to the counter and say, "I want to buy the most ** mobile phone." ”
The clerk kindly reminded the old man that the most *** is not low, and it may not be suitable for ordinary use. There are also other** relatively affordable styles to choose from.
However, the old man opened his mouth and said something that silenced the clerks.
The son is disobedient and has to use the most ** mobile phone. I know it's expensive, but my son said that his classmates use it. ”
The old man trembled and pulled out a wad of money from his pocket, a hundred, ten, a dollar, and even a coin. The money looked a little old, and the old man said, "Count them." ”
The clerk couldn't stand it anymore, so he picked up the old man's mobile phone and called his son, hoping that he could choose an affordable style. However, the son's attitude was resolute, and in the end, the old man still bought the most ** mobile phone.
Many people feel sorry for the old man and think that his child is not considerate enough. This mobile phone was bought by the old man after three or four months of hard work and frugality, but the son didn't seem to care. The old man reluctantly gave up.
There are also some netizens who do not support the practice of the elderly. They believe that they work hard to earn money, and they should buy the corresponding mobile phone according to their own terms, instead of catering to their children's pickiness.
For wealthy families, because there is enough material base, children can be indulged in self-willed profligacy.
However, for parents in ordinary families, blindly spoiling their children may develop bad habits of being extravagant, inconsiderate of their parents, comparing, and willful. In the future, the child may depend on his parents for his life or even blame his parents. At that time, it was too late to regret.
An educator once said: A good education is the construction of the soul, not the accumulation of money.
For parents, it is more important to cultivate the soul, conduct, habits and character of their children. Please let your children realize the truth of life from an early age and exercise themselves in the grinding of life. Only in this way can children understand the true meaning of struggle in practical actions and have the courage to take responsibility.
Raising children well is not about wrapping them in an ivory tower, but by making them realize that life is not easy as soon as possible. Only in this way can they understand the importance of hard work in practice.
Case 2: In the story, there is a couple who work in other places, with a total monthly income of 8,000 yuan, and bear a housing loan of 3,000 yuan and a car loan of 1,500 yuan. The two parents go to school separately for their two children, and the eldest daughter is about to start kindergarten. They disagreed over the choice of kindergarten, which led to a family quarrel.
In this debate, the husband argues that as ordinary families, they are already facing a tight life, with mortgages, car loans, and the daily expenses of their two children, so they do not need to choose such an expensive kindergarten. He questioned whether the choice of kindergarten was crucial for families.
The wife, on the other hand, disagreed, insisting that the choice of a high-end private kindergarten was to ensure that the child did not lose to others at the starting line. She emphasized that this bilingual kindergarten has a strong teaching staff, which can provide a good educational foundation for children, and at the same time, it will also allow children to meet more powerful parents and broaden their contacts.
Eventually, at his wife's insistence, the husband compromised and chose that expensive kindergarten. However, they then found that this decision led to a tighter family finance, often facing an imbalance between income and expenditure.
This case shows that many parents in society may ignore their actual financial situation in the pursuit of the "best". This phenomenon manifests itself in various ways, such as buying expensive items for children, incurring high travel expenses, or enrolling children in a large number of interest classes in order to pursue the so-called "best".
Put down the comparison, 3 practical suggestions for ordinary families to cultivate their children.
As our children grow up, we are easily influenced by the outside world and want to give our children the best of everything. However, the so-called "best" does not always refer to material luxury, but needs to be combined with the actual situation of the family, rational and controlled cultivation of children. Here are three suggestions to help ordinary families better educate their children.
Listen to your child's inner needs and don't be blindly extravagant.
Children may have desires that may seem extravagant, such as wanting to eat expensive ice cream, participate in a tour, or buy brand-name items. However, parents need to meet their children's needs within their means, rather than overspending for the sake of comparison. Clarify your own financial bottom line, provide children with appropriate material comforts, and teach them the values of rational consumption and contentment.
Cultivating children's interests is deeply cultivated rather than generalized.
Don't blindly follow the trend to participate in various interest classes, but choose 1-2 interests that children particularly like and are gifted, and cultivate them consistently. By focusing on one or two areas, it is easier for children to achieve a sense of accomplishment and build self-confidence. This kind of intensive nurturing can help children excel in specific areas and lay a strong foundation for the future.
Broaden your child's horizons in an affordable way.
Seeing the world doesn't have to be expensive. Families can choose more affordable ways, such as going to the countryside to experience rural life, observing nature, and reading books to enrich their knowledge. Cultivating a child's understanding of multiculturalism and thirst for knowledge is far more valuable than a short extravagant trip.
In the process of raising children, parents should first clarify that each family has unique conditions, including education level, family happiness, economic foundation, emotional stability, etc.
Therefore, we should not make excessive comparisons, let alone pursue the so-called "rich children" excessively. Letting go of the mentality of comparison, educating children as ordinary people, so that they can learn to adapt to life and work hard, is the truly beneficial way of family education.
So what do you think is the right way for ordinary families to "enrich" their children?Feel free to leave a message in the comment area.