Today is a day full of gratitude. This kind of gratitude is my gratitude to my parents.
Since I have been receiving a steady stream of inquiries about parent-child issues, I wanted to create a quantum perspective of H parent-child chapter. Before the specific name was decided, I first absorbed the essence of heaven and earth everywhere, aiming to develop a powerful product that can start from parents to achieve more and more wise parents and more and more blooming children.
That's how I signed up for a course called "Coaching Wise Parents".
In this class, the first section is role-playing, where the teacher invites a student to play the role of a child on stage.
Child: "Mom, why is the sky blue?"”
Mother: "I always think about these useless things, have you finished your homework?"How many points can I get on the next exam?”
In this process, whenever a child makes a request to explore the world, the parents always severely suppress the child's enthusiasm.
Because, in this process, the mother actually did not hear the child's voice, the child's inner emotions and needs, and just blindly urged the child to do things according to her own will.
At the same time, the teacher was holding a large roll of wide bandages in his hand and wrapped the child around little by little.
Eventually, the child grew up, but he was also covered in bandages and became immobile.
The teacher asked, "How are you feeling now?"”
Child: "I feel like I'm being tied down, I don't have any ability to move forward right now." ”
The teacher returned to the role of his mother and said, "You run forward, I have been for you all my life, I have paid so much for you, I just hope that you will get ahead, you will become that excellent person." ”
Child: "I want to, too, but I can't move, I'm bound." ”
Seeing this, I wonder what kind of awareness readers will have when they become parents
You might think, I'm going to make a big conclusion here.
But for today's article, I just want to write it to my mom and dad.
I watched the above Xi and suddenly realized. I realized that in my memories from childhood to adulthood, there was no feeling of being wrapped in bandages, not the slightest feeling of being restrained.
I thought about it, why is that?
I think the reason is that my father and mother always raised me from a very young age.
They seem to be busy because they want to make money, and they don't have much time and energy to take care of me.
On the other hand, my mom and dad were really open-minded, and they never wanted to deny my ideas, or suppress my ideas. Of course, except for two things, going abroad and getting married.
When I was younger, I asked my dad, "Dad, I want to sign up for a dance class, is that okay?"”
My dad said, "Okay, you can tell the teacher yourself." ”
I said, "Dad, I really like instant noodles, and I want to eat them every day." ”
Daddy: "Okay, full cubs!."”
So, I bought four or five boxes of instant noodles and put them at home. I started eating instant noodles all at once, but before I finished the first box, I vomited and never ate instant noodles again.
My dad never took the initiative to call me **. When I was an undergraduate, every time I was wronged outside, I called my dad**, and as soon as I connected**, I cried.
My dad always said, "I know that every time my full cub doesn't give me a **, I'm happy, because I know you're doing well and happy." Every time you give me a dozen **, I know that I must have been wronged outside
As for my mother, when I was young, I was often angry with my mother. She always spoke ill of me everywhere, and in front of me, saying that I was ignorant and had a bad temper.
When I was a child, I would always be so angry with her that I stomped my feet, ran away, and even ran away from home.
My mom always tried to pull me back from the sky to the ground in order to prevent me from becoming complacent. Pouring cold water on it is my mother's specialty.
However, the wisest thing about my mother is that she is weak.
Since childhood, my mother has been weak. Not only is her body weak, but her energy is also weak. She always avoids a lot of things, hoping that she doesn't have too much sense of existence, especially Buddha.
I often feel that it was my mother who became a weak character first, and then achieved my mentality of being a strong and invincible king.
For as long as I can remember, my mother's body has always been bad here and uncomfortable. Therefore, she feels that the body comes first and most important.
My mother, when I was a child, always said to me: "Don't be too good and too strong, don't make yourself too tired, I just want you to be in good health, and nothing else wants you." You can go to the barber shop to learn how to cut your hair, or go to the wet market to shine your shoes. ”
Every time I hear something like that, I get angry.
I thought to myself, "How can I shine my shoes and get a haircut!"I must save the whole family and even the whole family. ”
Therefore, at a young age, my immature shoulders seem to be carrying the fate of the whole family or the whole family.
If you say, I'm a tree. Since I was a child, I seemed to be able to grow whatever I wanted, and no one would prune my branches and leaves, and I could grow wantonly, savagely, naturally, and unfettered.
My soulmate often asks me, "What kind of family can cultivate a character like yours?"”
The above seems to be the answer.
I think it's the kind of thing that doesn't intervene too much with the child, and allows the child to fully explore the world and understand the world through his own personal experience.
Children are inherently possessed with the wisdom of performance, they are complete, they are self-sufficient, and they are free to bloom.
On the child's own path of exploration, she constantly recognizes herself, harvests her own answers, and further strengthens her recognition of herself in the continuous interaction and feedback with the world.
In this way, the snowballing inner power is built up in a steady stream.
Today, I am full of gratitude to my mom and dad.
I often say, "Love is about allowing others to be as they are." ”
Thank you to my parents for allowing me to be who I am