Husband and wife end a long-distance reunion, sleeping in the same bed but sleeping on one side, there is no communication, only embarrassment and strangeness.
Fifteen years of husband and wife, indifferent to such an extent, can no longer deny this fact:
Long-distance separation can allow intimacy to evaporate.
My friend and husband have been married for fifteen years and have been living the life of a "Cowherd and Weaver Girl". During the year, we can only meet on public holidays.
The husband spends nine nights alone in Shanghai.
Fifth, on the days of weekends, friends took two children and dragged a family to live in their hometown.
She often breastfeeds the little one while tutoring the big homework, and often holds the small one and leads the big one to the hospital**.
The trajectory of the two people's lives is drifting apart, the man does not understand the trivialities of the woman's life, and the woman complains that the man does not take on family responsibilities.
In the past 15 years, the communication between husband and wife has relied on "mobile phones", and the children miss their fathers, just **, which is also the only "warmth" between husband and wife.
Widowed" married life makes friends more and more powerless, sons are becoming more and more rebellious when they are 10 years old, and parents are old and frail and inseparable from people!
"The long place" made the friend unable to survive any longer, and eventually, she asked her husband to end the "long place".
But what is between them and husband is not only the distance in space, but also the spiritual alienation.
They suddenly find that they are so strange to each other, and the child has no feelings for his father!As soon as the husband came home, it made this home have no temperature.
In the end, the question they need to solve is not whether to end the long place, but whether there is emotion or not.
Why does a husband and wife become a chronic killer of intimacy?
Psychological knowledge tells us:
Intimacy between two people who live apart is generally less satisfying than intimacy that accompanies each other day and night. Because the reward value of long-distance relationships is low, the love expressed in words and voices is far less touching than the real kiss on the cheek.
The basis of attraction is a reward, and the more direct rewards people offer, the more attractive they will be to us, such as handsome appearance, pleasant smile, kind hugs, and so on.
Obviously, direct rewards are not achievable in separation, which can lead to a loss of intimacy and an increased sense of strangeness.
A friend said that after six years of married life with my husband, I never wanted to live this kind of life again, I was cooking in the kitchen, my husband squeezed past me, put his arm around me, and I shivered all over, because no one had touched me for a long time, I was in too much pain!
Therefore, long-distance couples are a very cruel thing. The most important thing it should solve is to maintain and enhance "intimacy" on the one hand, and to solve practical difficulties on the other.
There is a man, very admirable :
He often travels away from home, but he always uses all the time to see her at home. For example, if he is going to Guangzhou on a business trip from Beijing, he will land at his home in Shanghai in the evening and rush to Guangzhou the next morning.
He said that there must be a "skin-to-skin relationship" between husband and wife, not just relying on mobile phones and relying on **, which is separated by a layer of glass, even if you play ** every day, every day **, it will not eliminate the strangeness.
At the same time, don't let the person in the family feel tired, the heart is tired, the love is gone, the love is gone, the marriage is drifting apart, and when appropriate, share some responsibilities for the family and solve some practical difficulties.
What a clever man!If you care, you must find a way not to alienate intimacy.
Finally, I would like to tell you that if we are forced to separate in order to live, don't forget to offer more "direct rewards", which is more beneficial for intimacy!