Grow old together, live and die togetherAnd so on, many couples have made such vows, even if they areYin and Yang are two worlds, neither of which can stop twoBlazing hearts
However, inFuneral Xi, but there is"If a husband and wife do not send a funeral, the funeral will suffer."In this way, even if a loved one dies, you can't send him on his last journey, otherwiseIt is bound to suffer
So why can't husband and wife give each other a funeral?What is the basis for this?
Couples who have walked hand in hand for countless days and nights, after a long time, the relationship has been born from the newPassionTranslate toFamily affection that shares weal and woe。In the wind and rain, the two of them snuggled tightlyKeep each other warmWhen it is difficult, support each other and overcome the difficulties together. Even if there is an occasional dispute, they get along day and nightCommonplace
Therefore, when this person who has been with you for most of your life dies suddenly, the grief is really difficultPut it in words。This sadness, perhaps, onlyTruly experiencedcan understand deeply. We often sayThe pain of widowhoodIt is the most unbearable pain in the world. Some wives, the moment they received the bad news, they were stunned, and their bodies were instantaneousLose weight
Many more are losing their loved onesThe first time,Grief-stricken, crying profusely, and even going without food or drink for days and nights. Even if it comes back to life in the future, tooIt's hard to smile anymore.
In the countryside of our country, funerals are heldExtremely cumbersome。Since the death of a person, the family has to be busyTake care of the aftermath。In the home of the deceasedStopped for a few days, which is the time when the most people move around.
But in these crowded days, we rarely see anyone aliveThe half shed tears。In fact, those who have really experienced this encounter know that the quiet hours of early morning and late night are also those who have lost their other halfCrying painful moments
themEndure the day, only wait for the night to come, dare to express sorrow and vent grief. It's enough for the young man to cry, but the old man can't stand itHuge emotional swings.
We must not forget that the living half of the husband and wife is also alreadyGray hair。They were already powerless, and under such a blow, they could no longer afford itThe pain of widowhood。Especially those who are already suffering fromAll kinds of stubborn diseasesAt this moment, the health must be worse.
In ancient times when medical conditions were backward, once there was an accident, I was afraidThere is no way to return to heaven。This is also an important reason for prohibiting the funeral of widows. The ancients believed that if misfortune happened again in front of their children, they would probably be in the same situation for the rest of their livesCan't let go
ThisThe day of the funeral, is the most of the whole funeralA sad day。Each family set up a mourning flag in front of the hospital, relatives and friends in the township came to mourn, and the children wore filial pietySolemn and cool。When the soil was settled, the whole village cried.
Human emotions are inherently willingMutual infection,Not to mention in this atmosphere of "ghosts crying and howling". So it's not hard to imagine how the spouse can endure thisA double torment of mind and body
In ancient times, the mountain roads were inconvenient, and the old people were worried that they would not be able to bear thisScene with exertion, so there is a Xi that widows are not allowed to be buried.
This ancient"Husbands and wives do not send funerals".Superstition, the history of which can be traced back toSpring and Autumn Period and Warring States Period。According to the record of "Zuo Biography", Tian Changwei of Qi State at that timeSeek power, cruelly ** the prime minister of Lu State, Ji Sun Xing's father.
After Ji Sun Xing's father's wife learned of this, she wanted to personally see off her husband for the last time, but she was wasTian Chang refused。The reason for this is simple, "The wife of a husband cannot meet in mourning".。This ruthless historical moment has become the custom of "husband and wife do not send funerals".The original record
However, in fact, Tian Chang's move was not motivated by the right moveThe wife's emotional compassion, but to show oneselfCruelty and unreasonableness
In the ancient feudal society, this kind of deprivationHumanity and ethicsBehavior is not uncommon. Those in power often use violence to maintain their rule, and this is the caseThe helplessness and weakness of power
When thisCustomsAfter it spread, its connotation has changed over the centuries. In the predominantly agrarian society of ancient times, most ordinary people livedSimple workdays.
Husbands and wives often follow each other, working hard in the fields together, and cultivating themDeep love and a sense of responsibility。The grief of widowhood is often overwhelmingThe sorrow of the livingIt can last a long time. In order to alleviate suffering, this Xi of non-communion gradually became humaneProtection and care
This change is on displayThe dialectical nature of history。The cruel instruments of power have been diluted by the torrent of the times, transformed into empathy for the emotions of ordinary people, and the cumbersome funeral rules have been reduced to human natureThe most authentic expression
This is made ofCruel to tendernessThe evolutionary trajectory of this ancient custom has been handed down to the present dayIntrinsic motivation。It is no longer a tool used by rulers to show their majesty, but more of a carrierA sign of the changing times
Husbands and wives do not send funerals" is a traditional Xi that originatesFolk beliefs, considered to attend the funeral of the spouseInvite bad luck。In contemporary society, with the evolution of gender relations and family values, couples attend each other's funerals as a sign of mutual compassion and attachmentFrom time to time
The act of joint burial of husband and wife existsPsychological, social and securitymultiple risks. Although motivated by compassion and emotion, the practice of forcible burial may actually causeMore damage.
At this sensitive moment, it should be respectedThe will of the widowedto give full understanding and consideration. However, there is a deeper layer behind this traditional XiSocio-cultural factors。It reflects the traditional society's concept of life and deathA misreading
Birth, old age, sickness and death are all things in the worldA common fate, but the ancients gave itMysterious and terrifying colors。This creates a situation when people are faced with the death of a loved onePanic and anxiety. Husbands and wives are considered to be blessed with bad luck, but this anxiety is the only oneOutward manifestation
At present, people have more about life and deathScientific and rational cognition. The birth and death of life are in accordance with the laws of nature and should not be given to themSupernatural meaning
Attending the funeral of a loved one, it should have beenMourning life, a ritual to celebrate the good times of life. If that becomes a part of the pain, then it isMan-made tragedy
In addition, this Xi also reflects some of the relationship between husband and wife in traditional societyNegatives。In"Male protagonist outside female protagonist".Under the traditional framework, women bear a great deal of responsibilitySupport roles, including taking care of her in-laws and supporting her husband's career.
When her husband dies, the widow has to take on moreFamily Responsibilities,If you have to bear the anxiety that the funeral may lead to bad luck at this time, it will undoubtedly increase it too muchMental burden。This simply shows that these traditional beliefs that are not conducive to gender equality should be shaken off.
In contemporary society, we should pay more attentionThe improvement of individual autonomy, the full affirmation of the value of life, and the harmonious development of gender relations. If we can do this, then such traditional Xi will naturally evolve in the timesSlowly disappears
When an old man dies in the countryside, the filial sons have to perform a series of ceremoniesCondolences and farewells。Although these ceremonies are ancient, they contain the last life of the peasantThe expectation of mourning
First of allBurn down the head paper。The filial sons placed the old man in the middle of the hall, with his feet facing inward and his head facing outward, as if he were sleeping. Then put a large clay basin in front of the bed, which is filled with paper money.
The filial son took the lead in burningLater, relatives, friends, and mothers' families also came to burn the paper, and the more ashes on the table, the more money the elderly could use in the next life.
And then there isReport to the temple to inform the ancestral grave。The eldest grandson is dressed in linen and filial piety, aloneGo to the ancestral grave, there are words in his mouth, telling the sad news that the old man has died.
He must face the middle of the grave, get down on his knees, and sincerely pray to his ancestors to bless the old man in the future. This is also known as "soul attraction", which means inviting ancestors to come and be elderlyGuiding the way shows the way
Notify relatives and friends of the funeralIt's a more complex process. The filial sons must change into coarse cloth filial piety clothes, put on straw sandals, and beginHouse-to-houseGround Notification.
They came to the door of their relatives and friends, took off their hats and fell to the ground, and lamented the death of the old man. Some family members are crying, and some families also have old people, who experience the grief of filial sons at the moment. Filial sonsKowtow one by oneto express gratitude.
Let the old man be buriedPut on a shroud。The shroud is pale cyan, and the cuffs are embroidered with the pattern of the pine crane prolonging the year. The filial daughter-in-law put one or two half-cooked dumplings into the mouth of the old man, implying that there is no worry about raw food. The rest of the filial sons carried the old man into a wooden coffin that had been polished so that it would not be contaminated with dust.
Tear filial piety hatsIt is for relatives and friends who come to mourn. These hats come in different shades of blue and are worn to signify a formal period of mourning.
The filial sons also set up outside the courtyardSeat shed,Give guests a place to rest. More distant relatives sent food, including:dough, eggsetc., implying care and comfort.
Splash the soupIt should be done the night before the funeral. The eldest son held a Taoist soul-attracting flag, followed by several filial sons, carrying a large basin full of soup.
They walked slowly along the main road in the village, occasionally waving their hands and splashing soup on the side of the road. The warm soup stirred up steam, as if the soul of the old man was also rising in it, before leaving with the villagersFinally say goodbye
Other ceremonies are still thereThe cemetery broke the ground, the collective condolences, the filial piety basin that burned the paper, the burial, and the return to the graveWait a minute. These actions are simple on the surface, but they are extremely rich in connotation, representing the farmers' rightThe expectation of death and rebirthIt is also the most sincere expression of their grief.
About""Husbands and wives do not send funerals"."The traditional concept or the proverb that "if the husband and wife do not send a funeral, the funeral will suffer", which one can better reflect true love and humanity?This is a question worth pondering, and perhaps everyone hasown answers.
In any case, we must respect each oneIndividual choiceand find your own way of life in this diverse world. That's what life is all about.