Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
In the morning, a beautiful colleague handed me a carton of milk, and I drank it in one go.
In the afternoon, the beautiful woman asked me with concern, "Are you okay?"”
I wondered, "It's okay!".”
The beauty breathed a sigh of relief: "It turns out that drinking expired milk will not cause diarrhea." ”
Shopping malls with girlfriends, I saw a mink coat that was particularly good-looking, and my girlfriends wanted to buy itI stuck out my tongue in fright, only to see my best friend calmly walk to the fitting room, I hurriedly whispered to stop her: You are crazy, so expensive, just look at it, we can't afford it!My girlfriend didn't listen to me, and after a while, she came out in a mink coat, and she whispered to me, turn on the beauty camera and take a few more pictures of me!After I finished filming and sent it to her, my girlfriend said to the salesperson that the mink coat was a little too fat and inappropriate, so I took it off!When we came out of the mall, my girlfriend immediately posted on Moments: Happy shopping, another day full of harvest!
I said to my girlfriend who had just met, "We've known each other for more than ten days, do you think our relationship can go further?""She said, 'How can I go further?'”
I said to her, 'I want to taste your saliva.' “
She said, "Okay, no problem!."And then spit in my face!
Today I went grocery shopping with my mom, and we walked up to a stall and saw some vegetables that I didn't recognize. I asked the stall owner curiously, "Uncle, is this a leek?"”
The stall owner replied, "Meow".
I asked again, "Is this a leek?"”
The stall owner is still: "Meow".
My mom and I walked away with confused expressions, thinking to ourselves how strange this stall owner was.
When I got home, I was still puzzled by this, and my mother calmly told me, "That's leek seedlings......."The boss is talking about Miao, Miao....”
It turns out that I heard it wrong!
The mobile phone was broken, and my aunt gave an old man a temporary machine, which is the kind of mobile phone with extremely large buttons. As a young man in his twenties, I actually used this thing until now.
Recently, I just arrived at a new unit, and I overheard a colleague say that I have a very advanced calculator, and I can actually play **!
A couple is in love on the ground, and suddenly a piece of bird poop falls on the man's head.
The man shouted at the bird, "Don't you see the two of them?"
The bird laughed: I saw it, but I only have a lump of.
My buddy broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to comfort him, he said very domineeringly: "The general trend of the world, we must be together for a long time, and we must be divided for a long time." Women are dogs!”
After a few days, I found out that he was on good terms with his girlfriend again. When asked what was going on, he said, "People and dogs are not over!."”
I was temporarily pulled to watch the midnight show at night, and I was so sleepy that I couldn't open my eyelids, and the movie was not good, so I fell asleep all of a sudden.
At the end of the movie, I suddenly woke up, and my companion turned his head and asked me if the movie was good
I said it was good-looking.
At this time, the audience in the back row angrily scolded: "What a good look!."You two take turns snoring and kicking the stool and you can't wake up!”
A thief steals a customer's wallet at a restaurant and wants to run away after being discovered!
The customer didn't rush to shout for the thief, but shouted:Grab it, he hasn't paid for it yet
The waiters in the restaurant immediately swarmed up and surrounded the thief.
The customer calmly walked up to the thief, took back his wallet, and went to settle the bill.
I didn't do math in elementary school, but I was okay in other subjects!I haven't been able to find the reason!
Once I scored 58 points in the math test, and when I got home, my father took a look, silently lit a cigarette, shook his head and said, "Don't say more, work hard next time, it's still bad."3 pointsJust passed!”
At that moment, I think I already knew why....
If you like it, follow me, more hilarious jokes will make you happy every day!