Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
My grandfather is a bit old now, his ears are not very good, and the air in the city is not very good now, he has to wear a mask every day when he goes out. One day, when my grandfather went out, he forgot to wear a mask. When the neighbor saw it, he asked, "Oh, the old man went out today, why don't you wear a mask?"."My grandfather couldn't hear clearly, thinking he was asking if he had eaten.
So the grandfather said, "Eat!."”
Then the neighbor called ** to my dad.
My dad started balding in his early fifties, and after many attempts to no avail, he went with me to the doctor. The doctor said that there was no rule of law and that he would not let the money be spent in vain, but the father was unwilling to plead repeatedly, and the doctor was also anxious, and took off his hat to reveal his shiny head. The doctor said, "Look at me!".”
My dad pulled me out of the exam room silently!
Yesterday I went on a blind date, and I talked about smoking in the middle.
F: Do you smoke?
Me: Pump. F: What do you usually smoke?
Me: King Fleur.
F: Did you smoke fiercely?
Me: Let me tell you this, two lighters a day!
A friend of mine's father recently had Alzheimer's disease, and many people don't remember.
Once I went to see a friend, his father's door opened.
Me: "I'm looking for a hadron!."”
His father: "What are you looking for him, he's doing his homework!".”
I looked into the room, and my friend was sitting on a small bench, lying on the table, with a pen in hand, looking at me in despair.
I once went to Happy Valley to play with a girl. Had a drink at noon and went to ride the big pendulum ......At that time, the girl was dizzy, this is not all the point, the key sister vomited.
Can you imagine that the big pendulum has been rotating 360 degrees, and the girl has been vomiting more than once, not to mention, it is all tears, and none of the onlookers escaped.
In the public toilet, I suddenly heard someone in the toilet talking: "Dude, do you have any tissues?"”
I rummaged through my pockets: "Sorry, no. ”
After a few seconds, the man asked, "Is there a small piece of newspaper?"”
I smiled helplessly: "I'm sorry, no, I'm just here to pee." ”
After a few more seconds, a 10 yuan piece was stuffed into the crack of the toilet door: "Can you help me change it to 10 pieces for 1 yuan?"”
I handed the money over, and a roar came from the bathroom: "*Don't give me ten coins!".”
It's really painful to take your husband with you when you go to the mall to bargain!
I was optimistic that a piece of clothing would cost 179 yuan, and I was thinking about cutting it directly from 100 yuanOr cut it from 120?My husband suddenly appeared: "Is 170 for sale?."”
Yesterday at work, a beautiful woman from the human resources department came to our workshop to confirm the manpower by name as usual.
A male colleague at the same station of ours likes to take advantage of beautiful women, and when the beautiful woman finished calling his name, he actually shouted:For the husband in
After that, the kid was really with her.
I was having dinner with my girlfriend that day, and as soon as the noodles were served, I saw my girlfriend lifting her buttocks, so I asked her, "What are you doing?""As soon as the words came out, it felt inappropriate, the girl must have farted when she raised her ass, and I asked.
The girlfriend smiled lightly: "It's nothing, straighten out the skirt".
Oh!"It seems that I have thought too much, and when I picked up the noodles with my chopsticks with confidence, the sour smell came to my face......
I had a fight with my boyfriend, and the more I thought about it at night, the more sad I became, and I couldn't help crying. Erha, who was sleeping next to the bed and rubbing the air conditioner, was woken up by me, he looked at me in confusion, and then came over to ...... with a small towel
My heart suddenly warmed, if only my boyfriend had such a thoughtful Erha.
Unexpectedly, Erha actually plugged the towel into my mouth!
It's not complaining to me for waking it up, is it?
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