In a previous article, we talked about how when a child is bullied at school, parents should first reflect on two core issues. The reason why I talked about this topic is because of an article from the Shenzhen Hansi School of Psychology.
When a child is bullied at school, it is important for parents, teachers and classmates to respond to the incident. The wrong way to deal with it will not only not curb the occurrence of such bullying incidents, but will become a booster for this situation.
Psychological Correction: Parents' Coping
The two extremes of how parents deal with their children after they are bullied will exacerbate the possibility of their children being bullied again.
One extreme is to blame others. When they know that their children are being bullied, their parents who love their children will stand up for their children, make a big fuss at school, and the city will be full of wind and rain, resulting in the child's embarrassment, and it is difficult to repair the gap between him and the collective due to the impulsiveness of his parents on his own.
It was reported in the newspaper that the child told his parents that when he was playing basketball at school, another classmate who played better than him bullied him and never allowed him to dunk. The parents called a few adults and stabbed the classmate to death at the end of the school day. From then on, this child could not stand in class and school, and everyone avoided the murderer's son.
This reminds me of a clip from "Father and Son". The two children, who were having a good time, had a dispute and both complained to their fathersWhen the two fathers were bruised and swollen, the children had already reconciled and squatted aside to play hard.
At the other extreme, blame your own children. A third-grade child was getting out of school when his schoolbag was snatched away by an older classmate. He cried to his father, who not only did not help him recover his schoolbag, but also did not comfort him with the fright, but kept blaming him for being too cowardly and stupid to even protect his schoolbag.
In either case, the child does not learn the correct way to deal with the conflict, which leads to two outcomes: not to explode in silence, but to perish in silence. It is extremely bad for children.
In this case, it is the most powerful support to help the child deal with it rationally, not be humble or arrogant, and explore the methods and possibilities of solving difficulties with the child.
Mental Maintenance: The Teacher's Response
In school, which is an important position of socialization education, students will imitate the teacher's attitude and method.
The boy with long hair covering his eyes mentioned earlier, the teachers actually wanted to help him change this situation, but his own attitude of being beaten if he did it himself made the teachers want to beat him. This kind of hatred of iron is not made of steel, and it will naturally be received by other students. The boy's bullying gradually took shape.
There is also a teacher who asked everyone to write about the shortcomings of Little A at the class meeting, and why they don't like himThis practice exacerbated the conflict between the classmates, so that the isolated student had to use violence to fight back against the cold violence of the class. Being coldly violently bullied is also mentally bullied.
There are also personal reasons for teachers, such as a bad relationship with a certain parent, and the education method based on grades, etc., which will make children invisibly become the target of bullying.
In this case, it is very important for parents and teachers to work together, to cooperate with home and school, to seek common ground while reserving differences, and to negotiate an educational method that is conducive to the growth of children.
Cultivating a healthy mind: coping with classmates
In most cases, children lack experience and methods in dealing with conflicts, and it is inevitable that because of the mismatch of temperament and personality, one party will have the upper hand, and the other party will feel bullied. It's a common problem, children are children, and they also need to learn how to behave more appropriately.
In class, I teach children to express conflict in the way of stating facts.
Once, when the conflict between two classmates escalated in class, they were talking about communication skills, so I used this vivid example to demonstrate to you.
I asked you to state your own thoughts in a factual way, and neither of them should judge each other. As the story is told, they themselves discover that the conflict is based on a misunderstanding. The misunderstanding was clear, and the two sides shook hands and made peace.
The following week, one of their class leaders said that when he had another conflict, he used the same method to get the two classmates to shake hands.
If children learn more communication skills and methods, they can nip conflicts in the bud and be bullied, which may be effectively stopped.
Although there are many situations of being bullied, if the purpose is to cultivate a healthy personality of the child, it is convenient and skillful, and there will always be more ways than problems.
We hope that children can have a friendly school friendship, and the realization of this hope also requires the joint efforts of parents, teachers, and students. Search for more informative and practical articles waiting for you to read.