As a parent, do you have such worries, will your child be bullied at school?Once this concern becomes a reality, parents will be caught in a battle of ideas, is that okay?Wouldn't that be more appropriate?Does reasoning really work?It still has to be ?...... by fists
InShenzhen Hansi School of PsychologyI saw an article that pointed to the topic "Hansi Psychology tells you what to do if your child is bullied at school?".》。Instead of looking at what if your child is being bullied?Have you ever thought about another question, how can you keep your child from being bullied?With such doubts, it was openedCorrect the mindSure enough, I saw a related text "Avoid these reasons, will there be less "bullying"?》。
Positive Psychology: Children's Development and Development
A 4-year-old parent came to me and said that her child always said that he was being bullied in kindergarten and asked me if I should talk to the teacher
I asked how I was bullied
He described that the child said that some classmates deliberately threw biscuit crumbs at him when they added food, and also said that some classmates hit him when they were queuing up and would chase him and beat him.
I asked him to ask the teacher what had happened.
The results of the communication surprised him. When a child finished eating biscuits and was about to get up to wash his hands, he didn't stand firmly, and the biscuit crumbs on his hands accidentally fell on the childWhen he was queuing, he saw two classmates squeezing and pushing each other when they got to the playground, and he imagined that if he was hit, his classmates would chase him and beat him.
It seems that the child's description is not very accurate, this is a characteristic of stage development, and it is not a lie. Inaccurate language expression is particularly common in children aged 3-5 years, this time is the sensitive period for children to use language, children's information processing and language expression ability development is fast and slow, will confuse time, events, people, reality and imagination and many other factors.
3-5 year old children say that they are being bullied, and parents should restore the incident first. Listen patiently to the child's story, and help the child clear his mind by asking questions about the details of the event, learn to express himself appropriately in language, and effectively avoid misjudgment.
Other children experience problems with uncoordinated development, causing team maladjustment and feeling bullied. I have seen children who are hyperactive, self-contained, and have delayed language development, and they have a significantly different way of interacting with others. On the one hand, they want to make good friends, but on the other hand, they will only send out invitations through hitting, pulling, kicking and other actions, these behaviors are not understood by classmates and others, and it is easy to get the same way of response, and children will feel frustrated and describe themselves as being bullied.
In this case, parents should first cooperate, and then help children learn to understand the emotions of others, teach children to express their demands in a reasonable way, and enhance children's environmental adaptability and healthy interpersonal skills.
Cultivating a positive mind: a family education environment
If the parenting style is rough, scolding, and PUA-style, the child is more likely to be bullied.
I met a boy in the class, and he said that his classmates wanted to beat him, and he wanted to beat himself too, and that he was a piece of waste and useless.
I asked you what your mom and dad would think when they heard you say that
The child said, it was my parents who said that I was a waste, and said that you look at your long hair, covering your eyes, what is the use of you wanting those eyes?
This boy has indeed maintained long hair to cover his eyes, and he extremely recognizes his parents' evaluation of him: a waste, and it has become one of the reasons why his classmates always want to beat him.
Another sixth-grade classmate reported that his classmates bullied him, and even once forced him to stop teaching in class to solve the problem of being bullied. I stopped to understand the situation, but my classmates said in unison that he often hit others first, and others fought back in self-defense.
His bullying seems to have been caused by unsuccessful bullying of others. After class, I was chatting with this classmate, and the child asked me a question that surprised me: Teacher, I am going to go to middle school in another place, do you think I will encounter school bullying?Children who are very aggressive in the eyes of others, but use aggression to protect their vulnerability that they don't want to be attacked.
When I asked my family what they thought, he said, "My mother always says, if you are disobedient, sooner or later a classmate will come to discipline you for your mother, and you should wait to suffer."
There is also a boy Xiao C, his sister studies better than herself, and all the family members praise her sister, and he is useless in comparison. Answering in class, not handing in homework, robbing classmates of things, and his classmates' tone is disgusted with him. He simply broke the jar and broke it, and he did whatever others hated about him. In one class, he grabbed the talk, and was stopped by the whole class, he stood up and said: Teacher, this is how all of them bullied me.
After that student lecture, he came to my office and cried as he spoke: "Teacher, when you talked about self-love in the last lecture, I cried at that time, I felt that no one loves me, my parents never care about me, and I dare not love myself!
The next day, the class representative collected the homework: Teacher, I panicked, I saw Xiao C take the initiative to hand in his homework for the first time!
This kind of situation that children are easy to be bullied because of family education, and it is difficult to change it by relying on school alone. Parents need to learn some parenting knowledge, and they also need to gradually improve their personality development level in the process of cultivating their children, and create a warm family atmosphere for their children, so that the change of the situation is possible.
Parents and teachers must make the facts clear, especially parents, in the face of their children's accusations that they are being bullied, they must not be impulsive, and they must not be more aggrieved and angry than their children.
In addition, when a child is bullied, the way parents, teachers, and classmates respond may also lead to the continuation of this bullied situation, which we will share with you in the following articles.
If you are in a hurry, you can also search for healthy psychology uh*** and compare what you have done. I hope that the children can stay away from bullying and have a pleasant school life.