Hi everyone, I'm Yumi Mama
Brushed one before, byChina News Network launched a survey on "who has a baby at home".
When I saw this question, I guessed that the "grandparents" combination should be the majority, but who knew that the survey results showed:43.9% of the families are grandmothers with babies, while the proportion of grandmothers with babies is only 147%！
After reading this set of data, I investigated it and found that the families with babies around me are really the majority. Not only that, but an even more interesting phenomenon was discovered:Most grandmothers will "retire after success" when they take their babies to about 3 years old!After that, either the young couple will bring the baby by themselves, or the grandparents will "cut off the beard" and access.
I have also seen similar discussions on the Internet, and some people have questioned:Why did grandma work hard for 3 years, and when the children were a little better, the grandmothers would come out to "cut off the beard"?
I specially investigated the grandmothers with babies around me, and found that the reasons why they help take care of the children are similar, and there is a certain reason why the grandmother came out at the age of 3 to "cut off the beard".
As you all know, the first three years of a child are the most difficult to bring, especially when you meet one".High-demand babiesThe first 3 years were a test of humanity:
When I was a baby, I woke up once every three hours at night, woke up from sleep during the day, hugged and slept without saying anything, and then encountered the child's prickly heat, thrush, lactose intolerance, etc., which was really exhausting.
When the child is older, the resistance is not so strong, so if you are not careful, you will not talk about the cold and fever. After learning to walk, it is necessary for a person to keep an eye at all times, and it is possible to bump and touch if you can't see it at a glance.
It's already so hard to bring a baby, but talk about itWhy did they come to Beijing to bring the baby "thousands of miles away", but the grandmothers' answers were very heartwarming.
First of all, grandma feels sorry for the novice mother
Grandma is also a mother herself, and they know the panic and helplessness of new mothers. As a mother, everyone wants their children to live a little better, a little better. So if you have the chance,Mothers will do their best to support their children, this is maternal love.
Downstairs, Grandma Qiqi said: My daughter has to go to work during the day, and she has to clean up the housework and take care of the baby after work at night. I didn't come before herI go to work with dark circles under my eyes every day, which mother doesn't feel distressed?So I hurried over hereIf I bring it for a while, she will be able to bring it for a while.
Indeed, pity the hearts of parents all over the world, even if their daughter has become a mother and has her own family, but in her mother's heart, she will always be the little girl who is coquettish and cute, chasing after her ass and shouting "Mom".
The mother's instinct will make the grandmothers pity their daughter's contribution, and they will also make them voluntarily give everything for their daughter.
In addition to this,Grandma is familiar with her daughter's Xi habits and tastes。Although giving birth to a child is a necessary path for most women, it is not a small operation. If you do not recover well during confinement or breastfeeding, it will also have an impact on the mother's future body.
Compared with the restraint of getting along with their mothers-in-law, most mothers still prefer to be accompanied by their grandmothersAfter all, his own mother is familiar with her own tastes and knows how to get along with her daughter, so her grandmother naturally appeared.
Secondly, the grandmother was worried that her daughter and her mother-in-law would not get along
As a mother, you know that in the first three years of giving birth, you not only have to accept the transformation of a new role, but also have to deal with a life of chickens and dogs, which is really easy to get depressed. SoIn the first three years after giving birth to a baby, mothers are generally very sensitive!
Now most mothers-in-law are very sensible, and they will treat their daughters-in-law as if they were daughters. But we all know that the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law did not have the emotional basis of interdependence together, but only because of a man who was close to each other, they had to become a family.
There will inevitably be some estrangement between the two generations in terms of their Xi habits and ways of getting along. PlusWhen women get together, it is easy to think about everything, but after a long time, it is inevitable that there will be family conflicts
And if it isTake grandma over to take the baby, she not only helps take care of the child, but also pays more attention to the health of the motherI will pay attention to whether my daughter sits well in confinement and whether she usually rests well.
Even if the mother and grandma have a conflict and quarrel, the two have a deep "mother-daughter relationship", and they will support them not to really turn their faces. Even if you are arguing today, you can reconcile tomorrow.
SoThe appearance of the grandmother actually reconciled the possible contradictions between the daughter and the mother-in-law, and also won a buffer opportunity for the daughter to get along with the mother-in-law.
In the end, I love the house and Wu, and my grandmother loves her children even more
In 1980, researchers at the University of York conducted a survey of "families who lost children". They found that when a child died,The saddest thing for the elders in the family is grandma, followed by grandpa and grandma.
Although this study does not clearly indicate the extent of grandma's love for children, it also reflects that the elderly who love their children the most in the family is grandma!
So from the perspective of loving children, grandma will naturally take a hand.
Relatively speaking,Grandmothers also love their children, but they still focus part of their attention on their sons.
A mother in the community once complained: My mother-in-law only cooks food when my husband is at home, and as long as my husband is on a business trip, he will be fooled with all kinds of things. When her husband is at home, she cooks what her son likes to eat, and never asks her children what they like to eat!
Although grandmothers will feel sorry for their mothers, most grandmothers will choose to quit when their children are about three years old. Why is that?
I asked the grandmothers carefully and found that their thoughts were nothing more than the following 3 points:
One, they think that after 3 years of support, their daughter has a certain amount of parenting experience, and the child is slowly growing up and can go to kindergarten, and this small family will eventually return to their own life, at this timeA proper exit is also the greatest protection for the small family.
SecondIf grandma has been living in her daughter's house, although her daughter may not feel uncomfortable, there will still be some ** pressure.
After all, inIn our cultural identity, most people are still more receptive to the idea that grandmothers and children are the familyThey think of grandma as more like a "relative".
Third, the grandmothers are worried that if they live with their daughter for a long time, it will make the grandmother feel a little uncomfortable, and it will be difficult for the daughter to be caught in the middle.
Therefore, most grandmothers would rather quit at the age of about 3 years old. And grandma chooses to quit, and grandma can't avoid picking it up.
After all, young people have their own jobs, and the old people on both sides can only reduce their resistance as much as possible.
In fact, for grandma, this mode of bringing a baby is somewhat helpless:didn't lose his strength, and he was ridiculed for "cutting off his beard halfway".
It's not that the grandmothers don't want to take the first three years, the reality is that they haven't lived with their daughters-in-law after all, and there are definitely differences in life Xi, for fear of causing unnecessary family conflicts.
For example: young people are lazy and love to sleep, and their mothers are relieved when they are scolded, do you dare to say a word casually?
In addition, young people now have their own set of parenting, and the elderly sometimes can't get used to it
SoYou see, from grandma's point of view, there is no way to be forced to "cut off the beard".
But fortunately, they are all a family, and they are all about living a good life, so whether grandma takes it or grandma takes it, we young people try to "open one eye and close one eye" as much as possible, what do you say?
Today's topic: Who will take your baby before the age of 3?Do you have anything to say about the phenomenon of grandma bringing 3 years old and grandma "cutting off the beard"?