Recently, when we walked the baby together, my best friend said to me: "I envy you so much, you are so busy with work, and you can still insist on reading, exercising, and writing."
I said:
What do you have to envy, I just moved the time here from somewhere else. The time you spent taking care of the baby and researching various food recipes was a pleasure that I couldn't experience. ”
As a woman, you have to balance the workplace and family, and there are many identities, and it is impossible to be perfect all of them, so you have to learn to give them up.
I decisively gave up "housework", because I was lucky to have a very capable and even a bit "clean" in-laws, and I didn't have to worry about basic laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I've been telling my friends, "If you have an old family, if you have a treasure." "With my in-laws as the backing, I never have to worry about the tidiness of the house, all I have to do is to tidy up regularly, throw what should be thrown away, and add what should be added.
Even my own mother came to live in my house for a while, and said from the bottom of her heart"I didn't expect your life to be so good, you suffered a lot when you were a child, and you were able to never do housework after getting married. "
Of course, this is also what needs to be paid, in the first few years, the baby is relatively small, we have to live with our in-laws, it is inevitable that there will be times when the concept or method is inconsistent, at this time we must close our eyes and close our mouths. The old man has lived all his life, and it is impossible to change it with a few words from you or getting angry. Closing your eyes and mouth can effectively avoid conflict and give your family peace.
When the baby was in kindergarten, he began to encourage Wang, on the grounds that the baby wanted to be independent, and was ready to rent a house for the elderly in the community. The old man has been frugal all his life, and he is definitely not willing to spend money on renting a house, and when it comes to renting a house, he clamos to go back to his hometown. We know that we can't force it, we can only influence it slowly.
For example, the elderly like to watch TV, and the children can't be affected, so I occasionally mention this. In addition, the elderly have a different schedule than us, and they will feel uncomfortable living together, but in order to save money, they are willing to endure.
An opportunity came, I changed jobs, so under the guise of the company, I said that the company has benefits, and the rent can be reimbursed, and this benefit does not have to be used in vain, which completely dispelled the concerns of the elderly. Next, strike while the iron is hot and start looking at the house.
I want to be able to take care of both sides, but I don't want to live together, it's best to live as a neighbor, but my neighbor's houses are all self-occupied, not rented, so I have to retreat to the next best thing, looking for a house in the same building. Eventually, I rented a house of the same type upstairs.
When he paid the rent for the first time, Wang was very distressed, after all, it was a large expense, especially after calculating the expenses for a year, and even regretted it a little.
After two months, he began to regret why he hadn't lived separately from his parents earlier. Without parents nagging around, I don't know how to describe my free heart.
The elderly also live very happily, they can watch TV whenever they want, watch whatever TV they want, and no longer have to worry about affecting their children.
If you are too close, it will affect each other and interfere, and if you keep an appropriate distance, life will often be more comfortable. Not only with parents, but also with children, friends, and colleagues, it will be more beautiful to keep the distance you deserve.