A girl who was fostered I have a monthly salary of 56w, and I live like a wagging dog
Zeng received a letter of favor, and got a letter of spiritual precipitation, describing the life of a girl. A deep sense of resonance comes to mind, and perhaps this story can shed some light on us. I am willing to share with you, maybe there will be new harvests.
Xiao A is a 22-year-old young flight attendant who has just stepped into society, she has a charming appearance and full of youthful energy.
She unexpectedly embarked on the path of life with a wealthy businessman in his 40s, which she had heard about many classmates being adopted in college, but she never thought that she would choose such a life.
The life of a flight attendant seems to be good and glamorous, although she travels around every day, her life is still a bit monotonous. However, when the wealthy businessman offered a sky-high price of 560,000 yuan per month, she began to seriously consider it. She pondered how many years it would take her hard work to save the money.
After hesitating for two days, Xiao A took the initiative to dial ** and agreed to the proposal.
She became a wealthy businessman"Personal assistant", on-demand service, sensible and obedient, not annoying, strictly follow the requirements of wealthy businessmen.
The rich man complained about the trivial matters of the business during this time, while Xiao A pretended to listen attentively and echoed a few words of praise, which made the rich businessman feel comfortable and at the same time got more gifts.
In recent years, there have been many stories of being fostered or becoming a third party and getting rich.
There is a post about a girl complaining about her best friend's being fostered.
This girl is very good-looking and highly sought after in school. An uncle offered to take care of her, and after being refused, she told her best friend about it.
Considering his family's poor situation, his best friend, who had been working in a restaurant to save living expenses, said, "Since you don't want to, you might as well introduce it to me." ”
Since then, her best friend no longer worries about tuition fees, and all kinds of luxury goods continue to pour into her life.
She didn't stop studying. She is brave enough to step out of her comfort zone and keep learning. She bought a house, studied financial management, researched investment, and even enrolled in a business school course to devote herself to art investment. In the end, she successfully married a wealthy husband and reached the pinnacle of her life.
Many years later, the girl saw her best friend's happy life and was dissatisfied: "I study hard, work hard, fall in love and get married, why is it not as good as her?"”
It's not just this girl, there is a question on Zhihu**: What should I do when I learn that more and more female college students are being adopted and the existing values begin to waver?
This involves a series of issues that challenge the bottom line of morality, which has attracted a lot of attention.
Whenever I see a true story like this, I always think of a famous quote by Beauvoir:
The great fortune of a man is that he, both as an adult and as a child, has to embark on a very difficult path, but this is the surest one.
The misfortune of a woman is that she is surrounded by an almost irresistible **, not required to pursue progress, but only encouraged to sink to the land of bliss. By the time she discovers that she has been fooled by illusory happiness, it is already too late, and her powers have been depleted in a failed adventure. ”
Some people once thought that being fostered was a simple shortcut, the cost was insignificant, the money was endless, and the future was bright.
Is this the truth?
The author, Ah He, once mentioned that chasing quick wealth is like indulging in drugs, and once addicted to it, it is extremely difficult to quit. When you've experienced the thrill of making millions in a matter of minutes, everything else will seem boring.
So, what exactly does it cost to be fostered?
A foster girl said, "After getting involved in this industry, you need to not only have a relationship with your boss and employees, but also have the awareness to see yourself as a commodity. A lot of people have dogs, right?I feel like I'm no different from a dog, the more he wags his tail, the better he feels, the more money I get. ”
This is precisely the first huge cost: objectifying oneself. Abandon "emotion", cut off "love", and live like an animal.
Xiao Suo, a doctor of sociology, has never interviewed 19 foster girls in Guangzhou and Ningbo, as described in his book "Desire and Dignity".
One of the girls, Afie, has been living with a construction site owner for more than three years, while his wife and children live a few kilometres away.
Afie was unable to express his emotions. Even if a man complains about business difficulties, she must smile charmingly, even if she is reluctant. The owner wanted her to smile, and she had to smile. Personal space is also not free to use. When you are used to having dinner with your girlfriends, you have to leave in a hurry when you receive a "notice". When the master calls, she must go.
The scariest thing is human nature. Once the relationship is stable, they can only endure the man's irritability. The master wanted to humiliate them, and they could only endure it in silence.
And material enjoyment, where is dignity?Once you objectify yourself, you gradually pay a second huge price: the loss of self-esteem.
I once heard a story about a woman in her second year of foster care when a man suddenly lost interest. After all, for such rich people, if they have money, they can have beautiful women as much as they want.
As a result, the woman is at a loss, the money is spent, and she can only hope that the man will remember the feelings she once had. She gritted her teeth and sent a text message: "I miss you." ”
The man came but instead of giving money, he said viciously: "What a shameless **, didn't we say don't send this kind of misleading text message?."Are you a brainless one?”
Despite the harsh words, the woman did not dare to get angry.
Once self-esteem has been compromised, it is easy to compromise again.
Having lost self-esteem, what is left?
One more thing.
That's the most precious part of a person: authentic relationships. Once lost, endless loneliness and emptiness will follow.
Money alone cannot sustain a person's survival.
In the book The Hospital System, Spitz records the phenomenon observed in the nursery:
Abandoned babies who are only nourished by food can become unusually quiet, withdrawn, and depressed due to the lack of touch and emotional interaction from their nurturers. Many babies die before they are one year old, and even if they do, they struggle to develop like normal children, or even sit, stand and talk. ”
For adults, losing real relationships, despite being able to sit, stand, and talk, is just a walking corpse.
The more lonely you are in a relationship, the easier it is to transfer your desires to material things, and the more you will look for some quick solutions. And these quick ways often make people addicted to material things, become slaves to material things, and at the same time fall deeper into loneliness. It's a terrible vicious circle.
Recently, there have been a number of foster women who have been in the spotlight because of their money.
Not long ago, there was a high-profile "Yangpu Xiaosan Case". Mr. Zhou met Miss Yang, a student at the Shanghai Theatre Academy, at a gathering of friends, and the two developed a romantic relationship, making 82 transfers over a three-year period.
When Mrs. Zhou found out, she took Miss Yang to court and filed a lawsuit for infringing on her property rights, demanding that she return more than 100 yuan. The Yangpu District Court finally ordered Ms. Yang to return the more than 1 million yuan she had collected.
Another example is the dispute between Miss Miao and Lang Xianping when they broke up. Lang Xianping and his wife took her to court, and in the end, Miss Miao not only broke up, but also took on a huge debt of 9 million yuan.
These women may have thought that money would come easily, but it was quickly spent, not expecting to end up paying such a heavy price. Are rich people really that stupid enough to act as someone else's ATM?
Here, I would like to say a word to women who wish to take a shortcut to their money. Zweig wrote in "The Beheaded Queen": "She was too young to know all the gifts of fate, and she had already secretly marked **."