On the journey of life, children are like kites flying in the sky, and parents' concerns are like the ever-expanding kite strings. As soon as the children look back, they will find that their parents have always been there. As Long Yingtai said in "Seeing Away": "The so-called parent-child relationship just means that the fate between you and him is to constantly watch his back drift away in this life and this life." "Parents live for their children all their lives, but when they grow old, it is their children who are the hardest to give up. The way we get along in our later years needs to be adjusted. If elderly parents get along with their children out of proportion, it is often detrimental to their children's growth, career development, and the establishment and maintenance of parent-child relationships. No matter how rich you are, no matter how old you are, don't do the following to your children.
First of all, don't spoil yourself too much and keep your children from growing. As parents, even if you love your children deeply in your heart, you should show moderation in your love. As written in "Special Cruelty and Special Love": "The love that Chinese parents give to their children is not too little, but too much." "For their children's lives, parents only give shelter when they are young and weak, and when they are adults, they should learn to let go ruthlessly. If they treat their children as children all the time, and give them excessive pampering and protection, they will only know how to seek help from their parents, and will not know how to face the world alone. Children who are not independent find it difficult to take care of their own lives, and it is even more difficult to withstand the ups and downs of life. In old age, no matter how rich they are, parents should not spoil their children excessively. The children are adults, and parents should give them enough freedom to develop as they wish. Don't let love be a shackle. Teach your children to grow up independently and face life's difficulties so that their future can be better.
Second, don't rely too much on your children and stay independent. In later life, people may feel an inner emptiness and fear that there will be no one around to take care of them. However, if you always want your children to be by your side, you can easily become a burden to your children if you rely too much on them. Spending time with your children is meant to be with you. However, children are busy with work, have a lot of entertainment, and live with children, there will be conflicts due to trivial matters in life, leading to conflicts. Don't think of your children as your spiritual sustenance, no matter what age you are, people should have their own life plans. In later years, independence is the best way to live. Don't rely on your children, don't expect a family to always be together and be able to live a better life in old age. If you feel lonely, you should change yourself, don't focus too much on your children, but keep your lifestyle, savings, circle of friends, cultivate hobbies, and make life more fun. In their later years, parents also need to learn to be independent and maintain their financial and spiritual independence. In this way, children can live their lives with peace of mind and feel comfortable with the happiness of their parents.
Third, don't interfere too much in your children's lives. In old age, no matter how wealthy, do not get involved in the lives of your children. When people are old, they should have a certain sense of boundaries when getting along with their children. Learn to be less busy, treat your children as "outsiders", and don't try to continue to control their lives. Although parents always think that everything they do is out of love for their children, pointing fingers at their children's lives in later years is often detrimental to their development. Everyone needs to learn to choose for themselves and face life for themselves. If parents always plan their children's life path, their children may not know how to deal with a little wind and rain in their lives. Excessive interference in the child's life can lead to conflicts in the parent-child relationship. Children may feel that their parents do not understand them, so they will close their hearts and be reluctant to share the spiritual world with their parents. In old age, parents should manage their own lives, not interfere too much in their children's choices, and not be too nervous. It is a good thing to learn to let your children endure hardships and face life on their own. Only in this way can children live independently and parents can be satisfied with their lives.
In old age, focus on yourself and don't "care" too much about your children. As Zhou Guoping said: "A sense of proportion is a sign of mature love, which knows how to observe the necessary distance between people, and this distance means respect for the other person as an independent personality." "The love between parents and children should also be proportionate. Parents should not let their love become a bond, and do not allow themselves to be a burden to their children. As a parent, loving your child should give him better development and let him have a broader future. In later years, when you get along with your children, although you care for each other, you should not get too involved in each other's lives. Parents do not pay too much attention to their children, believing that they are capable of controlling their own destiny. Children know how to be filial and provide more care for their parents. Children are independent and parents are independent, so that the best of both worlds can be achieved.