When you invite a guest to dinner and find out that the other party has brought a lot of people over, smart people will do it
In interpersonal communication, a meal is a common and effective way to communicate.
Many hard-won things, once at the table, with the chat and wine tasting, from a light but strong brotherly atmosphere permeated, all the topics became more "talkative", and all problems became easier to "solve".
This kind of dinner cleverly achieves the purpose of "pulling relations" and "setting close". Even a strong individual, under the principle of "eating other people's soft mouths and taking other people's hands short", has to show a more pleasant side, and his attitude has gradually become more friendly.
If the other party didn't even say hello, they brought a large number of extra people, and the original "courteous" dinner party could still go smoothly?
Sensible people tend to resort to clever ways to defuse such "crises".
In the face of those who have shown us kindness, we often choose to go with the flow and entertain them with pomp.
There is a popular saying: "The grace of a drop of water should be reciprocated by a spring." ”
In the journey of life, when we meet someone who lends a helping hand in a critical moment, or someone who firmly supports us at a critical moment, we can be regarded as meeting a "noble person". With their help, we were able to solve pressing problems quickly, and invisibly dissolve difficult problems, so that our lives could not be spared a storm, and we are deeply grateful.
As much as we want to express our gratitude to them, they always humbly shirk and indifferently reject our return with words like "a gesture of effort".
A simple gift is clearly not enough to show our gratitude for this deep friendship, and a strong demand for something in return can ruin the relationship. At this time, the only option is to carefully choose a generous gift as a token of gratitude.
When the other party accepts our invitation and even brings family and friends with us, this is the best time to "return the gift". Even if we don't order as many meals in advance, they will be added immediately to ensure that our guests are fully treated.
In the selection of à la carte, beverages and drinks, we will entertain guests according to the highest standards, on the one hand, to meet the needs of our guests, on the other hand, not to skimp on some signature dishes, some special hard dishes, so that guests and hosts can have a good time.
This kind of pushing the boat down the river is not only a return for favors, but also indirectly helps others win "face", which is a kind act that benefits many parties. Even if it costs a lot, it makes people feel relaxed and happy in the sense of relief of "not owing each other".
In the face of those who deliberately eat and drink, we should only settle the accounts that should be settled, and refuse to become the "wronged leader".
Not long ago, I saw a news about a blind date man refusing to pay tens of thousands of yuan for a blind date lady's meal, and I couldn't help but praise him.
People who really care about you will understand each other when they have dinner together, and the meals are adequate, and moderation is the basic principle. And those who take the opportunity to eat and drink, pick expensive dishes, and enjoy them in a big gulp, but do not regard you as a "real friend".
So when we sincerely invite someone to dinner to show our gratitude, only to see it as a kind of "moral kidnapping" and take a bunch of people to eat and drink, it's actually already obvious how good your relationship really is.
The malice in the world is not always the kind of hateful, but more often it is wearing a mask of hypocrisy, smiling and talking appropriately.
For example, at a wedding banquet, someone brings a gift but brings a table of friends to the banquet. The organizers did not have enough reserved seats, so they could just sit in the box and enjoy the delicious food as they wanted.
For example, if you agree to have dinner with two people, but you bring three or five friends to come, treat your treat as his, and finally leave the bill to you.
The reason why this kind of "disregard for shame" behavior has been tried and tested again and again is because they have seen your "easy to speak" and "difficult to speak" character.
In the face of this blatant "malice", smart people will naturally not swallow this breath easily, because being treated as a wronged leader once often leads to being treated as a wronged leader more times.
Since the other party does not regard you as a friend, it is enough to settle the cost of eating for yourself and eating alone, and as for other expenses, calmly refuse to settle the bill. As for this so-called friendship, it doesn't matter if it can be continued.
If the other party tells you plainly that your friendship is only worth the money of a meal, then there is no need to care about embarrassment. Why pay for someone you don't have a relationship with?It's okay to just leave. Even if you don't want to blush, others are already ready.
In the face of honest strangers, I will show generosity and enthusiasm and check out without hesitation.
As we experience more and more experiences in life, our defenses against others become more and more difficult, and it becomes more and more difficult to build true "trust".
Therefore, what can touch our hearts is often not complex and exquisite, but pure and simple.
In the process of house renovation, many people face a real "big gamble". Whether you choose a renovation company or rely on acquaintances to contract, the cattiness is always unexpected. It is a blessing to meet people who use real materials and do things reliably.
My colleague Xiao Wang was lucky enough to meet a few honest renovation workers. They were originally rural masons, following a master electrician specializing in the modification of hydropower lines, without flashy promises, only simple ** principles.
At the beginning, Xiao Wang may have hired these masters out of the pursuit of benefits. However, the work of these masters is really attentive and the results are satisfactory. After paying his salary, Xiao Wang sincerely wanted to thank the chefs for their dedication, so he invited them to the restaurant to enjoy a delicious meal together.
The masters were unceremonious, not only brought the four people who worked, but also invited three other colleagues, and even brought their own liquor, fully demonstrating the unrestrained attitude of eating.
Xiao Wang may not be a little happy at first, but considering that his father also worked the construction site in his early years, he was able to enjoy a big meal with these masters, so he was grateful and enthusiastically accompanied them to laugh and taste the food.
Although the meal cost a lot, after that, when Xiao Wang was doing other decorations in his home, these masters were still working near the community and always found time to help. Xiao Wang felt that this reward exceeded expectations, and he was also glad that he was not stingy when he invited the master to dinner. Because, when kindness meets kindness, the blessings brought are immeasurable.
Summary: Inviting guests to eat has never been just a simple act of dining, but also an emotional exchange and transmission.
In the interaction, true feelings and false feelings are intertwined. You don't need to say too much, you can get a glimpse of the truth by observing each other's "small actions".
After a dinner, some feelings are stronger and deeper, while others say goodbye to the end. There's no need to be surprised or overly disappointed. Because of what kind of person you are, you will only end up having deep relationships with people who match. Only when the three views are the same, can we go further hand in hand.