Many people say that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to get along, but in fact, some mother-daughter relationships are the same, and friction is inevitable.
Especially when the pressure of life makes everyone anxious, it is more difficult for each other to stand in each other's perspective and be considerate of each other's feelings.
And it is precisely because it is between mother and daughter that it will become more unscrupulous. Forget that even if it is an intimate relationship, if you are sad too many times, it will become cold a little bit.
64-year-old Aunt Yang said that the disaster in her later life began with helping her daughter take care of the baby.
Since giving birth to children, most of her life has passed, and most of the time Aunt Yang imagines a happy situation with her children in her later years.
But when I really reached my old age, I found that all the good expectations were like a mirror, and they did not develop towards their own ideas. Moreover, he and his daughter were originally harmonious, but the relationship between mother and daughter became more and more unsatisfactory.
It is said that parents help take care of their children, which is a love rather than an obligation. Young people should be grateful to their parents for helping them with their children. But Aunt Yang's daughter took it for granted that her mother helped take care of the child.
Aunt Yang feels that her daughter can find fault with everything she does, and she is always dissatisfied.
For example, when making milk powder for children, the daughter asked Aunt Yang to use the water in the bottle warmer. Aunt Yang felt that the water in the bottle warmer was boiling for a day, which was not good.
It is better to dry the water to the right temperature, pour it into a thermos, and use it directly when it is time to make milk.
However, once Aunt Yang poured the water from the thermos into the milk bottle to make milk powder. When the daughter saw it, she immediately shouted: "How can milk powder be washed with boiling water?"How many times have you been told, and you don't look at the manual. Baby milk powder can only be brewed with 40 warm water, and you must have more than 40 water to make milk powder. ”
Aunt Yang said that the water in the thermos was poured in to keep warm after she had dried it, not boiling water. And pour the water from the thermos into a glass and let the daughter try the temperature herself.
My daughter tried it and said that the water was at least fifty or sixty degrees. You are sloppy in doing things, as the book says, if you use water higher than 40 degrees to make milk powder, the nutrition will be completely lost, what is the difference between drinking boiling water?”
There is no way, Aunt Yang can only compromise. Similar little things emerge one after another, and Aunt Yang and her daughter have some differences in parenting concepts, and each time they must end with their own compromises.
Another time, the child had a fever in the middle of the night. Aunt Yang was afraid that the child's crying in the middle of the night would affect her daughter and son-in-law's rest, after all, she had to go to work on the second day.
I got up and fed the child antipyretic medicine, coaxed the child to sleep, and the child cried, so I took the child around the ground one by one.
Aunt Yang said: "It's a pity that my love for my daughter is not exchanged for my daughter's understanding, but I always suspect that I didn't take the child well, which caused the child to have a fever."
I didn't sleep all night and was dizzy. My daughter didn't ask me if I was tired, didn't say a word to let me take a break, but took my efforts as a Xi.
Sometimes I also think that my daughter is like this, and I blame myself for being too spoiled by her. A child who is too pampered will not feel sorry for others, and only herself has herself in her heart. ”
In reality, this is the case, in fact, many parents are not afraid of being tired when they take care of their children, but they are afraid that the two people have different concepts, and there are differences when they take care of their children, which affects the original relationship.
In the face of parents' contributions, children must be grateful and less picky, otherwise it is easy for parents to feel cold.
If the child decides to let the elderly help take care of the child, you must correct your attitude. They are out of love to help, they are not machines, they are not tools to take care of children.
Even if the elderly have some concepts that are wrong, as children, they should say it well, instead of blindly blaming and complaining.
Aunt Yang continued to confide, and later the child was older, and the younger couple proposed to travel outside.
Aunt Yang was originally a person who likes to travel, but thinking about going out with such a small child, there are too many bags and small bags. said that if the two of them want to travel by themselves, they can stay and watch the children.
The daughter was unwilling, saying that the child was almost two years old and should see the world. Helplessly, Aunt Yang's wife could only follow on the journey. But going out to play this time is a crime for Aunt Yang.
Aunt Yang's wife was responsible for booking hotels and park tickets, and the couple didn't ask for money. My wife likes to worry about it, and she has no complaints.
It's just this trip, the son-in-law just looks for a good place to eat, and the daughter only takes pictures and buys. As for the child, the daughter is not allowed to go into battle in person except when she is breastfeeding, and nothing else.
The child is small, to sleep at noon, the temperature in the water town is high during the day, the sun is strong, Aunt Yang and the old couple play with the child in the hotel during the day, and the daughter and the two go out to be chic, only in the evening, we gather together to have dinner.
At dinner, they always slowly tasted the local specialties, and Aunt Yang held the child every time, fed and coaxed, and she had never eaten a stable meal. The daughter didn't know to come over to feed the child, or to be polite.
Aunt Yang feels that she usually works at home and takes the children to feed the children by herself, which is considerate of them. Now they take it for granted, they are out to play, purely as a nanny with children.
Aunt Yang summarized a few points about the changes in her life after she helped her daughter take care of the children. In addition to the cute and likable baby, there are no good aspects, all disasters :
Aunt Yang was looking forward to retirement, and she was gathering and chatting with the old sisters. When you have nothing to do, catch up on dramas and listen to a radio.
Aunt Yang likes to write calligraphy and cook some small pastries to share her experience with netizens, but now she has no time.
Since Aunt Yang brought the baby, she felt as if she had turned day and night upside down. When the child gets up at night to drink milk, he has to get up several times, and sometimes he cries and does not sleep, and he has to accompany him.
When I was young, I slept well, and when I woke up, I turned over and continued to sleep, but now that I am older, sometimes I can't sleep anymore after waking up in the middle of the night. Who understands the pain of insomnia?
Due to too much worry and fatigue, his physical condition has deteriorated. I always feel that I am in a sub-healthy state, and I can't slow down.
Aunt Yang felt that her pension was quite average, and it turned out that she and her wife were not deliberately thrifty, but they could save thousands of dollars every month.
Since taking care of my daughter's children, I can't count the large and small subsidies, buying things for my children and buying vegetables for my family, and I can barely save my retirement salary.
Aunt Yang admits that this is a failure in her education, she has been too spoiled by her daughter since she was a child, so that he does not know how to understand the feelings of others, and always takes himself as the center.
When they didn't help their daughter take care of the child before, the two people didn't have too many specific contradictions, but now after helping their daughter take care of the child, the two of them have big differences in the feeding and education of the child. quarreled back and forth, and the love between men and mothers and daughters was weakened.
In general, Aunt Yang felt that after taking care of her daughter's children, she had no credit and no hard work. Now my daughter still needs to take care of her own children, and her attitude towards herself is the same, I don't know if when the children grow up, their old age will be a bloody storm.
The wife comforted Aunt Yang and said: There is family affection, and the relationship between mother and daughter will not be broken. Aunt Yang can only have such expectations, waiting for the arrival of her old age, hoping that when she is old and can't move, there will still be the temperature of mother-daughter affection between her daughter and her daughter.
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The world is so big, thank you for seeing me!
Text|Wei Wei'an: The pen has a temperature, a voice for love, an atypical writer who loves words, invites you to perceive life together].