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Despite the development of society, there are still some prejudices against older unmarried women. It is generally accepted that women who are unmarried after the age of 30 make some kind of mistake and deny all their own advantages.
Conversely, society is more tolerant of unmarried men of the same age, especially in the marriage market.
A common phenomenon is that people tend to think that older unmarried men are unmarried because they are focused on their careers rather than because they can't find a partner. This seems to be what the older generation said, "start a business first and then start a family".
However, attitudes towards older unmarried women are very different, and society agrees with them, whether they are outstanding or not, that they cannot find a match.
Even harsher rhetoric is that these women are not qualified to choose who they marry, and no one will want to marry them if they are selected. In the eyes of many people, older unmarried women seem to have lowered their worth, and it seems that it is normal to marry only who they can marryThis logic is really puzzling and too unfair to women.
Take my neighbor Hui Min, for example, who is 37 years old, has a master's degree, is a very enthusiastic young woman, with outstanding looks and strong business ability, and is very popular in the company.
After graduating, she worked for a company in the South, where she was promoted from a new hire to a business unit manager in just five years. In the eyes of her colleagues, she is a capable strong woman, leading her performance year after year, and the company rates her as excellent every year.
However, despite being such an outstanding woman, she is still unmarried, and in her hometown she is regarded as an older leftover woman who has no one to marry. This is actually a kind of social constraint on older unmarried women.
Huimin and I have been neighbors for a year and know each other very well. She is extremely polite in life and has a very high level of professionalism. If she hadn't taken the initiative to mention her age, I really wouldn't have seen that she was 37 years old.
Although she is unmarried, her taste for life trumps that of many. I always thought that the reason why she was unmarried was not because she couldn't get married, but because she was really good. For men with average conditions and abilities, it is simply difficult to pursue such a woman.
Despite her excellence, she still works hard and has a clear plan for life and pursues a high quality of life.
Every time I visited her house, she often said to me, "If the man I marry will bring down my standard of living, then I'd rather not get married." I don't want to lower my quality of life because I'm married. ”
For her, marriage is not a lifesaver for women, but the icing on the cake of life. She does not believe that women need to be dependent on men to survive, on the contrary, she is capable enough to live a high quality of life.
She will not marry hastily in order to get married, let alone become a "woman who can't get married" in the eyes of others. She doesn't see marriage as a necessity in her life.
She often shares beautiful photos of foreign travel in her circle of friends, with the caption: "A person also lives a chic and comfortable life." ”
In fact, she lived a very chic and fulfilling life alone. In the workplace, how can such an excellent woman get married?
I remember one time, she told me about her love experience. She used to have a boyfriend, but they broke up after a year of dating. The reason is that her boyfriend thinks she is too strong and makes him feel inferior.
Hui Min said that maybe her boyfriend felt that he didn't deserve her, and although he was also an elite in the workplace, he clearly felt pressured compared to her.
Therefore, she agreed to her boyfriend's request to break up, and the two broke up peacefully without any entanglement.
Over the years, she has experienced ups and downs in the workplace, has rich social experience, and has also cultivated strong insight. She can quickly tell if a man really loves her and whether the two parties are suitable.
In this regard, I deeply agree that a wise and mature woman like her is simply incomparable to a young girl.
However, the inherent prejudice against older unmarried women persists, preventing them from marrying normally.
In fact, many people think that the reason why they are unmarried is because they are older, when in fact, they are unmarried because they have not found a match for the man.
Today, some people still think that the value of women lies in getting married and having children, and they almost ignore the excellence of women. It is difficult for women to be recognized by men for important factors such as education, ability, appearance, independence, and social experience.
It must be admitted that some people who view women from a narrow perspective have fallen into a complacent mindset. Such thinking Xi weakens the status of women to a certain extent and reduces the overall value of women.
In fact, in this day and age, there are more and more independent women who are not going to marry because of their age.
In their view, the value of women is no longer just reflected in marriage and children. Whether or not to marry is entirely their personal choice, and age should not be the standard for measuring women's value, let alone the reason why they cannot get married.
After spending a year with Hui Min, I found that the better women are, the more independent they are, and the broader their thoughts and horizons, which are incomparable to young girls.
The famous dancer Jin Xing once said: "A man who cheats on a teenage girl needs sweet words;Trick a girl in her twenties into needing flowers;But to deceive mature women in their thirties, then you have to use dim se. ”
Why do many men dare not marry older and high-quality leftover women?Because they don't think they're worthy, and even if they do, it's not a few sweet words that can impress them.
In front of excellent women, men can't disguise because the other party can see through you at a glance. Excellent women have great insight, and their vision and height are very different from ordinary people.
Therefore, many older unmarried women are actually not because they can't get married, but because they are too good.
Just like Hui Min, it's not that no one pursues her, but that ordinary men can't afford her excellence.
For her, marriage is not a shackle attached to men, but should be the icing on the cake of love. She is not married, but she still lives a delicate and moving life, and she will never become a vassal of anyone, she is the pride of an independent woman.
Ma Yili once said in a show: "Many men are really not independent, there are too many mothers and mothers, too many old ones, and women with real independent personalities can't look down on them, so women are not easy to marry, and women are too good." ”
This may be an overstatement, but there is some truth in it. Nowadays, there are indeed more and more excellent and independent women, and this is a fact that cannot be ignored.
While women continue to improve, self-improve, and become better, there are fewer men who can match them.
In addition, the situation of more men and fewer women makes it more difficult to choose a mate between men and women, and it becomes difficult to match.
In the current dating market, it is indeed quite difficult for men to find the right match. This is not just because women are high-minded, and blaming women for it does not necessarily change that.
In addition, the fact that women are not married does not mean that they cannot get married, but rather that they are not willing to lower their standards until they find a suitable partner.
So please stop holding those inherent prejudices against women over the age of 30.
Marriage is no longer a necessity for women's survival, and women with ability and inner strength are not that they can't marry, but that ordinary men can't afford to marry. This is something to ponder.