In order to handle interpersonal relationships smoothly, you first need to have a deep understanding of the nature of human nature.
Understanding the follies of human nature is the key to understanding them, which will help us avoid possible pitfalls in the future.
People's personalities and minds are always unpredictable and changeable.
Only by accurately grasping the characteristics of human nature can we handle various affairs more properly in the future, control our own destiny, and truly live the life we want.
A senior corporate training instructor, Mr. Wu, told such a story:
When a doctor who thinks highly of himself crosses the river by boat, he can't help but show off to others with his confident talents.
He asked the boatman if he knew literature.
The boatman shook his head. The doctor then asked if he knew history, zoology, and botany.
The boatman still shook his head.
The Doctor looked contemptuous, sneeringly and asked the boatman if he didn't understand whether this was the same as waste.
The boatman simply continued to row in silence.
The sudden storm and waves soon caused the fragile boat to sway in the waves, and at the critical moment of imminent capsizing, the doctor was terrified and clung to the edge of the boat, hoping to save a glimmer of life.
At this time, the originally silent boatman asked him if he could swim.
The doctor confesses that the only thing he doesn't understand is swimming.
Unexpectedly, the ship capsized in an instant.
The doctor screams for help as he struggles in the water, his attitude changes drastically, and he expects the boatman to lend a hand.
Despite the cold eye, the boatman did his best to rescue the doctor and bring him safely to shore.
The boatman smiled and reminded the doctor:
What he doesn't understand, the doctor understands, but despises him as a useless person.
The Doctor knew everything except the way to swim, and if it weren't for this so-called useless person, he would have sunk into the water.
The Doctor was deeply ashamed of this.
Everyone has something they don't understand, and in a limited life, who can really have comprehensive knowledge?
The common mistake people make is to overestimate their knowledge, which leads to arrogance and emptiness.
However, excessive pride can only make one short-sighted.
Only by constantly reflecting and respecting the merits of others can we continue to make personal progress.
Everyone has their own shortcomings, and each has its own strengths. There are hidden icebergs everywhere you look.
Humility can make profits, and arrogance can attract losses.
A true wise man knows his limitations.
Professor Qi of Nankai University proposed:
Forcing others to follow one's own example is the greatest folly of human nature.
The reason why he thinks this is based on the deep understanding of human nature: everyone has a different growth background, so they will have different perspectives and positions when looking at problems.
If you insist on letting others follow your steps, not only can you lose that friend, but things can also go out of hand.
A friend once shared her emotional experience.
When she had just graduated from college, she had a heart-wrenching relationship.
Ex-boyfriends are typical machismo and like to show their dominance over small things.
My friend loves spicy food, especially as a Chongqing native, but he opposes spicy food due to health reasons, and always pulls his friend to choose light Cantonese food every time he goes out.
My friend likes to go shopping with his close friend on the weekend, but her boyfriend insists that youth is not for indulgence, and he always takes her to the library to read despite his friend's plans.
When the parties talk about the marriage contract, according to the woman's Xi, the man should pay at least 80,000 dowry, and the down payment on the house is also essential.
The woman naturally has a corresponding marriage, a car is not a problem, if the man's down payment is insufficient, they are also willing to share the burden.
In the end, her boyfriend objected, feeling that she was being objectified.
During that time, every opportunity, he complained in front of her that there was no dowry in other marriages and no houses.
He often criticized her for being too materialistic, valuing only money and ignoring the feelings between them.
How can a person who always starts from his own point of view and makes unreasonable demands on others expect him to be tolerant and understanding of his spouse in the future?
It was then that the friend really saw the boyfriend's true nature and realized that his so-called concern for her was not actually out of love, but a kind of control.
This is where the relationship ends.
The people in the world who can maintain relationships are people with empathy.
They know how to put themselves in each other's shoes, respect dissenting opinions, and be considerate of others' differences.
Eschewing forced substitution and embracing understanding and inclusion fosters healthy relationships.
In this world, there are always some people who agree with what others say, whether it is praise or criticism of others.
It is as if they never have their own opinions, and they always act according to the opinions of others.
There's such a story:
A person who loves opera has to stand at the back when he arrives late at the theater because of his low stature.
In that position, he couldn't see anything.
But when the people around him laugh, he laughs too;When they wept, he wept with him;When they applaud, he applauded.
The audience at the back was puzzled and asked him why he acted the way he did.
He explained that because everyone around him was doing that, he just went with the flow.
Others couldn't help but laugh at his behavior.
If we look closely, we will see that there are many people around like him.
Before they could understand the whole story, they were in a hurry to comment with the people around them.
Sometimes, even in the absence of sufficient information, they begin to heckle with the crowd.
Similar incidents abound on the web over the years.
For example, the 10-yuan lunch lady who was popular on the Internet before. Originally, her fast food was close to the people and provided a reliable choice for people with a tight economy.
However, some influencers only saw her low-cost food and called on everyone to try to get more benefits.
As a result, the 10-yuan box lunch became a 10-yuan buffet, and a large number of people poured in, some greedy for cheap, and some refused to pay.
What is the result?Ignorant behavior led to a serious loss of money for Ms. Lunchbox, which made her reluctant to close the store and change her career.
A brainless follow-up has caused a person to lose their livelihood, and many low-income people have also lost their affordable way to satiety.
As it says in The Rabble:
Once clustered into groups, people's IQ declines dramatically. In order to integrate into the group and gain a sense of belonging, individuals are willing to give up what is right and wrong in exchange for wisdom.
The end result is not only that it may cause trouble to others, but in the long run, individuals are also prone to lose the ability to think independently and gradually lose their self-worth.
Nietzsche famously said that man is the rope that lies between the superman and the beast.
What you do determines your ultimate destiny.
Although people's hearts are fickle, human nature is unpredictable.
But understanding the follies of human nature can always help us to clarify the problems in life to a certain extent, and to discern what we should stick to and what we should avoid in this flowery world.
The journey of life can be long or short.
I hope that we can all see the stupidity in human nature, gradually sculpt ourselves, avoid these stupid behaviors, and make ourselves better people.