In his sleep, he saw a quiet road and heard a woman's hoarse cry, but he couldn't wait for a response. It made me shudder when I remembered my childhood. Nothing shuddered more than the cry of loneliness and helplessness
This is the beginning of "Shouting in the Drizzle", and this passage also sets the main tone, that is, loneliness.
Your fears, your hesitations, your anger are all unanswered, and a sense of powerlessness fills your whole body from head to toe, which is loneliness, grievances that no one to tell, successes that no one to share, and failures that no one to pay attention to......
How to face loneliness in life is a profound topic, and it is also a question that Sun Guanglin, the protagonist of the book, needs to face, and readers will also use his childhood memories to find an antidote to loneliness with him.
Everyone's loneliness is different, so I don't feel the same way
Sun Guanglin was first sold by his parents to city people when he was 6 years old, and then abandoned by his adoptive mother at the age of 11, so he ran from the city to the countryside alone at a young age, relying on a little memory from the past to find his way home.
But he didn't have time to rejoice in it, and soon found himself on the fringes of the family, his mother was cold to him, his father thought he was a burden, and his eldest brother hated him because of his father's attitude.
He obviously has parents alive but can't feel family affection, and he obviously has brothers but can't feel brotherhood.
Sun Guanglin's loneliness makes readers feel sympathy, but Sun Guanglin's family is also lonely.
Sun Guanglin's mother dared not speak out in the face of her husband's cheating, so she remembered all her resentment on the widow who rejoiced with her husband.
One day, when the grudge broke out, he had a fight with the widow but had not yet fought, and was severely humiliated by the widow. She fought for her own humiliation, only to be rewarded with even greater humiliation.
His eldest son was resentful when he saw his mother being bullied and wanted to come forward to help his mother, but he eventually gave up this urge because the eldest son himself had slept with the widow.
The mother's second son also didn't care about her, she was being bullied and shouted: "If my third son is still alive, he will definitely avenge me", this mother could not get help from her family after being bullied, and could only pin her hope on her dead son.
Sun Guanglin's eldest brother went to school when he was young, thinking of making friends with the city people to show his skills to the people in the village.
But then he found that he was not compatible with the city kids, and everyone could play with him on the surface, but they never really accepted him, and in the end he didn't make a real friend.
He handed a handful of melon seeds to the girl he liked every day, but when Sun Guangping told others that the girl liked him, the girl heard it and threw a handful of melon seeds directly in front of everyone in front of Sun Guangping, which made Sun Guangping ashamed.
Later, he returned to the village to look at the vast fields, looked at the old people who ploughed the fields every day, thinking about his future life, his eyes were full of turbidity, he knew that he would be with this village for the rest of his life until the end of his life, and he was unwilling but no one told him.
Sun Guanglin's younger brother sacrificed himself at a young age to save his playmate in the river.
Although he never thought of sacrificing himself or sacrificing himself in his cognition, the river still took away his young life.
But instead of being sad about his death, his father and brother revealed joy, thinking that Sun Guangming would be recognized as a hero by sacrificing himself, and would give their family enough subsidies, so they immersed themselves in the beautiful fantasy of being a hero's family all day long.
As for Sun Guanglin's father, it stands to reason that the person who should be blamed the most is a selfish bastard.
But I suddenly realized that his life was not a kind of loneliness, and the attitude of his wife and his sons towards him was never love, but fear and hatred.
No one in the family likes him, and it's true that he's a selfish bastard, but he's also a selfish bastard that no one loves.
Although they are a family and live together every day, they cannot understand each other and have no empathy, they are all indifferent to the suffering of others, and they are immersed in their own loneliness every day.
The pessimistic view says that everyone's joys, sorrows, and sorrows belong to themselves, and these have nothing to do with others, so they don't care about them.
Or maybeThere is no empathy in this world, and everything in life is self-aware.
The depression in your heart is not visible to others;No one can hear the cry of your heart.
As Romain Rolland said: ".No one can really understand you but yourself
Worse than loneliness is a false friendship
Sun Guanglin also wanted to relieve his loneliness after school and try to make more friends.
One of his fellow villagers, Su Hang, was the child king of their class at the time, and often played with a bunch of children in the playground.
Sun Guanglin also wanted to fit in, originally he was still worried about whether Su Hang would reject him, but when he walked to the crowd, he found that Su Hang did not reject him, but let him play together in the crowd, which made him very happy, thinking that he could finally get rid of loneliness.
Until one time, in order to show his status in front of his female classmates, Su Hang called Sun Guanglin over, and then picked up willow branches and beat Sun Guanglin like driving animals in front of female classmates.
And Sun Guanglin didn't know what was going on, so he could only hide while showing a funny and bitter smile.
At this time, the sense of shame in Sun Guanglin's heart arose, and he began to realize that Su Hang did not regard himself as a real friend, but as a little follower who came and went at a moment's notice.
In the next few days, Sun Guanglin stopped looking for Su Hang because of humiliation, and he also found that Su Hang actually didn't care that there were no people around him, and the children around Su Hang didn't care.
At this time, Sun Guanglin really realized a truth, instead of deliberately pleasing others, it is better to accept his loneliness.
He said".Instead of pretending to have a lot of friends, I went back to loneliness and started living alone with the real me
When I'm lonely, I made some friends who are on the surface harmonious, and it seems that I can alleviate my loneliness.
But over time, you will find that this relief is a kind of drinking to quench your thirst, not only can not get you rid of loneliness, but at the same time feel more unnecessary pain while being lonely.
So, what we can really do in the face of loneliness isAccepting your loneliness, living alone, and freeing up more time and energy is also to give you the opportunity to meet the right person.
* It was precisely because Sun Guanglin gave up Su Hang's false friendship that he later had the time and energy to meet Su Yu and gain a precious friendship.
Swallow the bitterness of loneliness and enjoy the sweetness of loneliness
Sun Guanglin's childhood memories do make readers feel lonely and sad, but we can also feel the good side in his memories.
Sun Guanglin later made a real friend Su Hang, gained real friendship, and felt the real fatherly love and experienced the warmth of family affection in the adoptive father Wang Liqiang.
When Sun Guanglin recalls these two people, we can feel the warmth of those memories with Sun Guanglin.
When I read it, I will also sigh why there are only a few people who can make him feel warm in Sun Guanglin's memory, and at the same time, I am also complaining about why there are always so few people and things that can bring us warmth in real life, and why warm people and things cannot be seen everywhere like sunshine.
But then I thought about it, perhaps it was because Sun Guanglin's long-term loneliness in his childhood occupied most of his memories that he could feel warmth again when he recalled the few friendships and family affections.
A person who eats delicacies from the mountains and seas every day is compared with a person who is hungry for several days before eating a steamed bun, perhaps the latter can have a heartfelt gratitude for food.
People always want to get more and be better, which causes most people to be stuck in the pain of not being satisfied every day, and few people are satisfied with what they have.
There's nothing wrong with wanting more, being better, but the irony is that this desire is meant to be more happy, but in the end, we always lose the happiness we had before.
This shows that what we really need is not more, better, but to cherish every beautiful moment of life.
It is precisely because of the existence of loneliness that the few companions in your life seem incomparably precious, loneliness is like a cold night, and those who accompany you are like a fire in the nightThe deeper the night, the more dazzling the light can be highlighted, and the colder the weather, the more you can feel the hard-won warmth
That being the case, what we can do is to accept loneliness, live with it, wait patiently in solitude for the next moment of happiness to come, and then grasp it, enjoy it, and remember it.
Summary
Sun Guanglin's memories except for the occasional few people who have a definite ending of death, most of the rest did not write about their ending.
Most people disappear in the memory of the last time they met, maybe no one knew that this side was the last side of their life at that time, and then everyone disappeared into the vast sea of people, forever staying in those memories of the past.
After all, everyone has their own life, and in addition to yourself, your parents, partners, and friends are just a participant in your life journey, and at the same time a passerby in your life.
There is only one essential difference between these people, that is, on the road of your life, who walks with you for a longer time and who walks with you for a shorter time.
You can't keep anyone during this time, the only thing you can do is to continue on your own path in life and accept this loneliness that belongs to you.
Finally, it is best to end with a quote from Marquez:Life has never left solitude and existed on its own. Whether we are born, we grow, we love each other, or we succeed or fail, until the end, loneliness exists like a shadow in the corner of life
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