1. I used to know a friend, who was really suave and talented. It's a pity that it's stammering. During a small talk, I asked him, "Is this the result of your birth" or if you have worked hard. He told me that he had an uncle who was stammering. When he was a child, one day he took a group of friends to see his uncle and learn from him to stammer. His uncle's face was so red that he couldn't speak. and chased after them, and beat them. One of them saw it and whispered a few words to his uncle. His uncle was not angry anymore, and said that you come here, and I will teach you to speak. A few children started learning very seriously. As a result, my friend excelled and learned well. I learned it in half a day. It hasn't been changed.
Come on!!Fortune telling?No money!
2. I remember that during the military training in the first year of high school, standing in a military posture, the instructor walked around in the team, accidentally stepped on me, and it was really painful, so I screamed "Ah, it hurts a lot" The instructor turned his head and said very seriously, "Men are not allowed to cry pain", I changed my mouth to "comfortable" and then ......The instructor gave me another kick.
A classmate asked our dormitory boy for help in order to take a recent photo with a blue background.
3. My husband doesn't do his job, he either drinks or sleeps every dayI worked hard outside the home, and when I came home from work, I couldn't even eat a hot dinner!That day, I watched my husband drinking there, I really couldn't control my emotions, I went up to be a flying foot, and then scolded: "Can you do a successful thing in your life, let me see!".My husband said in a daze: "The most successful thing in my life is to marry you." I was speechless.
Master, am I jumping high?
4. The son in the first grade hummed a nursery rhyme while doing his homework, and his mother said, "Son, why do you still sing when you do your homework?"You can't use one heart for two purposes!The son was silent. After a while, my mother asked while wiping the table: Son, how did you spend all the 10 yuan pocket money you gave you yesterday?The son was silent. The mother asked again, and the son said, "Why do you still talk while doing housework?"You can't use one heart for two purposes!
Woman, what kind of kung fu are you practicing?
5. After getting off work last night, I went to wash my feet with my colleagues, and I was just about to go upstairs when I met my father-in-law, and after we looked at each other for a few seconds, I quickly took out my mobile phone to feed!Mom, don't worry, Dad isn't here!I'll look somewhere else!
The father-in-law also took out his mobile phone and called **: My daughter, I am in my son-in-law's unit, and he is working overtime!
I wonder who pushed me down.
6. I have a high degree of myopia and don't like to wear glasses. Once walking on the road, I saw a round thing running towards me from a distance, I thought it was a puppy, so I immediately squatted down excitedly, and shouted "zuo zuo" in my mouth.
It wasn't until the object touched me that I realized it was a basketball!Nima!The way the basketball owner looked at me at that time.
This cabbage is big enough.
7. A man has insomnia at night, so he harassed his friend, and his friend said impatiently: "What do you want to do?".”
He said, "Then you tell me what to do with insomnia." ”
My friend said helplessly, "Count the sheep." ”
He roared, "What's wrong with my sheep, shouldn't I be able to sleep when I am a sheep?"”