1 thing when I was my first girlfriend!
Giggles. The first time I took me to her house, when we were chatting, her father said to me: My daughter loves to be angry, but there is no need to coax, after a long time, she will naturally be angry. So, if you guys quarrel, you just have to calm her down for a while!
I said, "Uncle, I see!".
Later, sure enough, we had a fight!
It's just that several years have passed, and I wonder if she has calmed down?!
2 Today's dinner time to watch TV sports competition, it is the second brother does not like to watch the track and field competition, eating and eating The second brother said to us: The current athletes are too disrespectful, and they actually gave up the game in the game, we looked up and didn't feel abnormal. The second brother said again: Look at this pole vaulting athlete, he only runs with the pole and he doesn't jump, even if he doesn't jump, he throws the pole. The third brother really couldn't stand it anymore and said: You are a second goods, look at it, it is a javelin!
3 Today's exam, the one next to him is a scumbag, he won't know anything, after the exam starts, this goods took out five slips of paper and put them on the table, and grabbed lots.
The invigilator immediately came over when he saw it, and the teacher was very strange: everyone else is four, why are you five?
This thing came lightly: and the other one is to do it again.
4. A hilarious Chinese tourist got lost in the Forbidden City in Beijing. Armed with an upturned map, he confidently guided his friends through endless palaces and courtyards. Eventually, they find themselves back to where they started, and their friends are laughing and crying. The tourist scratched his head and smiled awkwardly and said, "It seems that we visited the 'circular route' of the Forbidden City. ”
5. When I went to Dalian to play in the year I graduated from high school, I took a green train for a day and a night, and I had a friend on the upper bunk, who slept for a day and a night, did not drink, eat or pull, and once wondered if he was dead....Fortunately, when the ticket was checked in the middle, he stretched out a hand and gave the ticket, so far I don't know whether it is male or female.
6 I had a dream that day, and I dreamed that a beautiful and rich girl confessed to me, and I actually had the idea of refusing!The reason is to test her resolve!I woke up and pumped my big mouth!
7 Knowing a woman, she is pretentious, narcissistic, ugly, and pretending.
Today, she: "People like me will be in the entertainment industry in the future." ”
Me: "Just you?".The biosphere is estimated to be difficult to mix!”
8 The teacher asks the question in class: "Can anyone tell me what love is?"Xiao Ming raised his hand and replied, "Love is that my mother saw me stealing her chocolate, but she still smiled and asked me how it tasted." ”
9Teacher: Xiao Ming, you have been looking around since the beginning of the exam, are you invigilating for me?
Xiao Ming: yes.
Teacher: You don't take the exam, just proctor for me, I have to thank you?!
Xiao Ming: Teacher, no, I'll invigilate the exam for you, you can just take the exam for me!
10 husband didn't come home from the bar until late at night. The wife roared: "You came back so late, where did you go!."”
My husband replied honestly: "I went to play poker with a few buddies." ”
Playing poker with a few buddies until now?!She said angrily, "Then you can pack up your things and get out of here now!"”
The husband said, "You have to get out of ...... too."This is no longer our house, and we have lost to our friends. ”
11 I got up late in the morning, hurriedly washed up and went out, passed by my mother's breakfast stall, took 2 buns and left, at this moment, a girl saw that I didn't give money for buns, and followed 2 and left.
was grabbed by my mother, "Why don't you give money for buns, girl?"”
The girl said, "Didn't that man just now give him any money?"”
He's my son, who are you?”
I'm his girlfriend!”
In the end, she really became my girlfriend!
12 No!It doesn't matter if you pull the tooth here, just pull the skin!
A woman's tooth hurts terribly. She had planned to go to the dental clinic, but she didn't want to stumble into the office of a well-known lawyer. She pushed open the door and saw a young girl typing.
She asked the girl, "Is there a tooth extraction here?"”
Nope!The girl replied dryly, "There is no need to extract the tooth here, just the skin." ”