In a family with many children, how many children are more likely to emerge?The answer is unanimous
In the family, when a new life is born, parents' expectations for their children often go beyond the simple healthy growth of children, and are more integrated into the beautiful vision of the future. They want their children to not only grow up healthy and strong, but also to excel academically, get into the university of their choice, and have excellent future prospects.
This kind of ardent expectation for children is often vividly described as "hoping that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix". This is the ardent desire of parents for their children to succeed and get ahead, and it is a desire for their children to surpass themselves. However, in families with many children, an interesting and thought-provoking question is: what children are more likely to achieve more significant success in adulthood?
Psychologist Thorndike has conducted in-depth research on this issue, revealing that siblings' family ranking has a significant impact on shaping an individual's personality, behavioral Xi, and future life trajectory. There is a saying that "the eldest is the best, the eldest is the best", suggesting that in families with many children, the eldest child usually shows a stronger sense of responsibility, while the second and third children have more prominent traits in terms of personality and emotional intelligence.
In many families, when a new child is born and a second child is born, the family is often amazed by the stark personality differences between the first and second children. Although the two children may be similar in appearance, their personalities are worlds apart. Many parents are quite touched, especially for the second child, the emotional intelligence is generally high, which has become a striking scene in their family life.
I talked to a friend who has three children in her family, and her praise for her second child is full of praise. She said with emotion that the second child in the family is smart and clever, has high emotional intelligence, and always seems to be able to gain insight into the minds of adults in an instant. This little clever ghost not only has flexible eyes and quick thinking, but also maintains a sweet smile at all times, and can always win everyone's love with his thoughtful demeanor.
In a second-child family, it is often observed that the second child appears stronger, likes to compete with his brother and sister for everything, and will not hesitate to cry to the adult if he can't grab what he likes. In contrast, the boss is more independent and has a strong ability to take care of himself.
However, whether in a two-child or three-child family, a striking fact is that each child presents a very different personality. Some children are unusually caring and understanding;Some may appear willful and domineering;There are also children who are introverted and full of responsibility. This diversity of personalities makes family life full of color and vitality, and each child injects a unique charm into the family.
The birth order of children, in fact, does shape their unique personalities to a large extent, which is strongly supported by the theory of "birth order effect" proposed by psychologist Adler. Adler was the first psychologist to emphasize the importance of birth order in the formation of an individual's personality, and his theory profoundly revealed how birth order among siblings plays a key role in family dynamics.
According to the birth order effect theory, siblings will occupy different positions in the family because of the different birth order, resulting in the formation of completely different personality traits. According to this theory, children usually have a strong upward mentality, longing for a higher status in the family, competing for parental attention and love.
Older siblings, especially the eldest sons and daughters, are often the focal point of the family before the birth of the younger siblings and are pampered. However, when families add more information, their status may be affected and their parents' attention may be reduced, triggering a complex range of emotional responses. They may take a tough stance and dictate to their younger siblings, or even take advantage of the opportunity to bully others in order to maintain their former superiority.
Conversely, younger siblings, especially young sons and daughters, may receive affection in a gentle way. They may be more respectful, obedient, and affectionate with their warm manners.
Adler's research also delved into the personality traits of the first, second, young, and only sons. The eldest son is usually the focal point of the family until the birth of the younger siblings, but with the arrival of the second son and second daughter, they may feel a decrease in parental affection and a rapid decline in status. This change often leads to jealousy and insecurity in the eldest son, forming a unique personality trait that manifests itself in a more lonely, stubborn, and hostile tendency in relationships.
In general, they tend to have a strong sense of inferiority, perhaps because they feel a drastic change in their once favored status.
In families of three or more children, Adler gave a positive assessment of the second son, believing that the second son is the happiest family member with a more promising future.
Among the many children, the second son is usually not overly spoiled by his parents because the family has ushered in a new life. In order to win the attention of their parents, the second sons often have a strong sense of superiority and strive for excellence to surpass their older siblings. This competitive mentality will accompany them as they grow up, prompting them to Xi constant comparison in later life and strive to surpass others under the same conditions, which becomes their driving force.
The second son in a family with many children is often ambitious and ambitious. This positive mindset makes them more likely to achieve great results as adults.
However, families with three or more children are also under extreme pressure. In addition to the busy work of childcare, the cost of children's education has also increased correspondingly. As a result, more and more families are learning to consume rationally and strive to minimize their expenses while ensuring their basic living needs. This attitude of rational consumption can not only cope with the economic pressure of children's education, but also contribute to the balanced development of the family.
In a two-child family, a question that has attracted much attention is which of the two children in the family will grow up?Studies have shown that the eldest in a family with two children is more likely to show maturity and responsibility.
By looking at the surrounding families, it can be found that in the second-child family, the most successful and more successful people are often the eldest in the family, while those who are favored by their parents often show flexible and witty personalities. Parents' doting on the second child is often manifested in words and deeds, especially when there is a conflict between the two children, family members are more inclined to let the eldest accommodate the second child and cultivate the boss's sense of responsibility and care.
The eldest is often given the task of taking care of the second child, and this sense of responsibility gradually cultivates the maturity and stability of the boss. As they grow up, they learn to understand their parents' hard work, become more sensible, and have a sense of responsibility for their families.
This cultivated quality becomes evident as the boss grows up and becomes the key to their success. These successful people usually possess excellent qualities such as maturity, stability, and responsibility. While taking care of their younger siblings, the elders gradually develop leadership skills and learn to make decisions at critical moments.
However, in one-child families, the situation is different. Since the only focus is on the only child, educational resources are more concentrated, and parenting styles tend to be more refined. The family's education model is often more directly determined by the child's growth and achievement.
Although the "birth order effect" theory suggests that the birth order of children in a family with many children influences their character and achievement to some extent, in reality, it is the parenting style of the parents that is the decisive factor. Therefore, whether the child is the eldest or the second, the final achievement is largely determined by the quality of the family's education, not just the order of birth.
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