I'm 56 years old and have lived in the city for almost 30 years, and I've always had a very good night's sleep. It wasn't until I remarried my wife that I really realized what it meant to be a "sleep disturbance".
My wife usually seems to be polite, but every night after going to bed, his snoring is like thunder, which upsets me. I'm a light sleeper, and every time I wake up, it's hard to fall back asleep. So I started tossing and turning in the middle of the night, and the next day I was dizzy again.
Honey, you wake me up so many times every night that my sleep quality has deteriorated so badly that I am dizzy and inproductive every morning. Can we consider sleeping in separate rooms?"One day, I finally couldn't resist asking my wife to sleep in a separate room. After listening to my words, my wife's face changed: "How can you sleep in separate rooms!."We just got married, and our relationship is heating up, and sleeping in a separate room will make our relationship fade immediately!”I explained, "Honey, I don't want to separate rooms either, but the quality of sleep directly affects the way you work during the day. Why don't we give it a try?If it did not feel good, we could always stay together again. My wife still firmly disagreed. I had to take out the previously recorded ** of him snoring, hoping to convince him. Seeing her own thunderous snoring in **, my wife was also surprised, but she still thought that this was just a normal physiological phenomenon and should not affect our**. After many failed conversations, I decided to move to a guest room to sleep. Sure enough, my sleep quality immediately returned to normal, and I felt more energetic every morning. But my wife was very unhappy about this, and the first night I moved out, he came to the guest room and knocked on the door, saying that he wanted me to move back. After that, he came to my room almost every night, complaining that I didn't love him enough.
After a while, my wife started threatening me with moving out. He said that if I continued to sleep alone, he would move out immediately, and divorce was inevitable. I was terrified, my wife was in her 60s, and I didn't want to end the marriage because of such a trivial matter.
So I started to do everything I could to coax my wife, and during the day I would often ask him if he slept well last night, indicating that I had always missed him. I would often knock on his door at night and ask him if he wanted some hot milk or something. I hope that through these actions, my wife will feel that I care and alleviate his dissatisfaction with my sleeping room. After this state lasted for a while, my wife's mood gradually improved. One day, he suddenly took the initiative to say to me: "I figured it out, you sleep more comfortably alone, I shouldn't force you." Let's leave it as it is. I was so happy that I quickly thanked him. Since then, my wife has never mentioned the matter of sleeping in a separate room for me. Although it was not the most perfect result, at least the quality of my sleep was guaranteed, and my wife's mood gradually stabilized. It made me realize that understanding and caring are actually more effective than demanding. Husbands and wives also need to give in to each other, rather than having one serve the other.
This sleep problem actually made me reflect on it. Maybe I should also be more proactive in understanding my wife's thoughts, instead of blindly sticking to my own way. I should put myself in his shoes and make him feel at home. Hopefully, after a while, when his emotions are completely relieved, we can revisit whether we can sleep together.
Feelings need to be maintained by both parties, it needs to be understood, it needs to be cared for, and it needs to be understood。Because you and I are ordinary people, we will have our own little temper and persistence. But as long as we face each other with love and tolerance at all times, we can slowly resolve misunderstandings and strengthen our relationship. I believe that with sincerity and patience on both sides, any problem will eventually be solved.