If you want to ask, what is the most devastating thing in a relationship, it is probably this: the Cold War.
One doesn't want to say, the other holds back and wants the other party to ask, who knows, the other doesn't matter, when nothing happens, do what you want, and have fun with others;
The other, the more he holds back his heart, the greater the anger in his heart.
More afraid than quarrels, it is the endless cold war.
Quarrels can also understand each other's hearts and true thoughts through quarrels, and can promote understanding and advance feelings through quarrels.
What I am most afraid of is the Cold War, I don't know what the other party is thinking, and I will have all kinds of suspicions and torture myself with cranky thoughts;
This will not only make you tired, but also make the two people more tired to get along.
Under the same roof, looking up and not looking down, those couples or couples who often have a cold war, do they still have feelings at all?Someone who has come to tell you the answer: drift away.
1. Long-term cold war, feelings will be separated
When they first got together, or not long after they got married, because they loved this person deeply, every time they had a cold war, they would still try their best to coax, communicate, be willing to compromise, and be willing to pull down their faces.
Therefore, the other party is willing to meet any request, and just wants to let the other party dissipate his anger.
Later, the other party became more and more violent, unwilling to communicate, and put on a face all day long, as if he owed him millions.
The two have only been married for a few years, and the other party has already begun to get tired of it.
It's not pleasing to the eye anywhere, a very rare thing, such as picking up the child home, being a little late, and coming back without saying a word, with a stinky face.
Usually if you say the wrong thing, you will stare at you fiercely with hateful eyes, as long as you are at home, even when you appear in front of the other party, the air around you will freeze, become heavy and depressing.
2. Unwilling to communicate, it will drive people into madness
In the face of the Cold War again and again, I have tried to take the initiative to communicate hundreds of times, but in return, I ignored it again and again, was indifferent, and even said the words "I will leave if I can't get by".
This relationship was originally a starring role of two people, but it became the master of the other party.
As long as you don't go along with the other party, don't compromise, separate or continue, it's the other party who has the final say.
Later, he chose to shut up, and every time he was in the Cold War, he thought about everything by himself.
I often cry with my friends, feeling that the other party doesn't love me anymore, and my life is going to be unbearable, so what should I do.
Every time I am in the cold war, I am alone with anxiety, irritability, depression, anger, self-doubt, and all kinds of emotions tormenting myself, and I am about to suffocate myself.
It's just that I feel that I can't communicate, it's superfluous to say a word, and I just quarrel or don't respond.
Your hysteria, in exchange for the other party's indifference, seems to be crazy, only yourself.
3. The knots need to be unraveled, and the feelings need to be maintained
After the frequent Cold Wars, most of those who were willing to endure became the most familiar strangers, and those who couldn't have parted ways.
Long-term dissatisfaction and resentment are the root causes.
Between husbands and wives and lovers, if they want to have a good relationship, they need effective communication, talk about it, solve problems on the matter, and not get through the test in confusion.
If you want to continue living, you need to communicate well, understand and be tolerant.
During the Cold War, one side had to put down its body, and the other side had to learn to go down the stairs in order to communicate.
Only by resolving the contradictions that occur every time can we not accumulate disappointment and promote the development of feelings.
If you really can't reach an agreement, ignoring it and not thinking nonsense is the best punishment.