1 in the countryside, when I was a child, Tepi, led five or six children, often harassed the neighbors to the chickens and dogs, one day the neighbor's aunt told me that there was a hornet's nest at home, to see if I could get rid of it, and then I went, that day half of the village could hear my brother's cry. And leave a small pit in the brain. Can I tell you it was a wasp sting?!
2 My buddy swears that he will never go on a blind date in this life!The reason is that when he was 24 years old, his parents arranged it once, and he was heartbroken. He came to the hotel early that day, ordered a meal and waited for the woman to come. After a while, the door opened, and before I could see who it was, it closed again. Then I heard a sentence from outside the door: "Mom, he doesn't seem to come, there is an old man ...... inside."”
3 Passing by a courtyard in the morning, I saw a sign hanging on the door, and there were two words on the sign - "lover", and suddenly felt that the owner of this yard was very interesting, so I gently pushed the door in, but as a result, before I took two steps, two big wolves suddenly rushed out from the side.
When I came back from the rabies vaccine in the hospital, I rubbed my eyes and looked at the sign carefully, only to find that the two words on it turned out to be "enter with caution".
4 In the Xi room, I saw a girl reading a book, and I was excited. So I walked up to her and pretended to hit the table, but the glass didn't fall to the floor as I expected. She raised her head and smiled slightly, and said to me: "Double-sided tape, once it is glued, it cannot be shaken. ”
5. It rained all the time....
The patients of the psychiatric hospital rushed into the rain, shouting, "Come and take a bath......”
The doctor smiled helplessly......
The doctor turned around and suddenly found a patient standing as steadily as Mount Tai: "Why don't you go down to take a bath?"”
I saw this patient smile slightly: "I'm different from them, they are all a group of neurotics." ”
The doctor was immediately excited: "I finally cured you!."”
Then he said, "I'll wait until the water is hot before I wash ......."”
Doctor "....6. The teacher asks in class, "If one of your parents died, which one would you choose?"The class fell silent, except for one student who raised his hand and said, "I'll choose Mom." The teacher asked, "Why?"The student replied, "Because Daddy will definitely marry a new Mom back, but I can't find a new Daddy." ”
7One day I went to the street with my son, and I had a lot of fun with a little girl, and soon the girl was going back, and I said to my son: Give my sister a kiss, she wants to go home.
As soon as the son heard this, he hugged his sister and gnawed it mouth-to-mouth without saying a word!
The girl's grandmother's face changed, and I was so frightened that I quickly pulled him away and reprimanded him: Why kiss him!I can only kiss my face!
My son replied to me with a serious face: If you like it, kiss it!
8. Recently, I worked overtime until midnight every day, and my colleague Xiao Zhang drove me home. I jokingly said to my boyfriend: Xiao Zhang sends me every night, aren't you worried?My boyfriend said: Why aren't you worried?If someone doesn't send it one day, I won't have to pick you up on a cold day.
9 My uncle is a cook, and when I was a child, I often went to the restaurant where he worked, and to put it bluntly, I went to the tooth sacrifice, and my uncle taught me to cook in his spare time.
When I got along with my wife, I told my wife that I couldn't cook, and after I got married, my wife always cooked, until one time a few old classmates came to play, and I must show my hand. Since then, I have contracted the kitchen at home, and it turned out that I only washed the dishes.
Including going to my wife's house, cooking is also my business, and I can only listen to them play mahjong.
10 The doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, I saw that it was an old classmate I hadn't seen for many years, but I didn't expect him to be reduced to delivering couriers.
He also looked at me in surprise and exclaimed, "I didn't expect you to put the door on the bridge."
11 went on a blind date, and the blind date turned out to be my current girlfriend.
My mom introduced me to a match, and I went on a blind date in the afternoon. I told my girlfriend to go to relatives in the afternoon, and the date was canceled!
Coincidentally, I didn't write a book, I went on a blind date, and the blind date turned out to be my girlfriend's ......
Said that it was mostly tears, and it was blown out!