**In the TV series "Nagi's New Life", Nagi, who was born with curly hair, flattered her boyfriend in various ways in order to be able to marry her elite boyfriend Shinji.
Her boyfriend likes straight hair, and Nagi gets up an hour earlier every day and secretly straightens her hair.
Boyfriend Shinji doesn't want to make the relationship between the two public.,It's a stranger to Nagi at the company.,Nagi has no complaints.,She's still humbly in love with Shinji.。
Until one day, Nagi overhears Shinji chatting with several male colleagues, and Shinji is ashamed to say a lot of derogatory things about Nagi.
Nagi didn't expect that he had been so unbearable in Shinji's eyes all along, so he made a painful decision to resign and leave Shinji.
Seeing that Nagi really decided to leave, Shin Eryi changed his previous high-minded attitude and took the initiative to bring gifts to save Nagi.
Nagi didn't say yes in her heart, she didn't know that the gears of fate had begun to turn, and another beautiful relationship was about to come.
If Nagi hadn't made up his mind to leave Shinji, it's hard to imagine what Nagi's life would have become.
Maybe Nagi is trying to take care of all the housework and is obedient to Shinji, but Shinji will still dislike her and suppress her.
Because he is sure that no matter how excessive things he does to Nagi, Nagi can't do without him. It is precisely because of this psychology that he has no scruples and wantonly hurts Nagi.
The turning point of the story is that Nagi leaves Shinji with the mentality of not being afraid of losing and starts a new wonderful journey.
As the saying goes, a good attitude is the magic weapon of happiness and the key to controlling feelings.
The following 3 mentalities are the magic weapons I recommend to girls who are in emotional distress to strengthen their relationships.
Some girls said, "I know that there are a lot of unpleasant things to get along with him, but I'm really afraid that I won't be able to meet anything better after leaving him." ”
Some girls said: "I've been with him for several years, and although he's not good, I don't have time to get to know new people anymore." ”
Another girl said, "Actually, it's not all about his shortcomings, what can I do if I really lose him." ”
Girls with these mentalities, in the final analysis, are afraid that they will not find a better one after leaving, and if the cost of trial and error increases, they will only regret it, and the gains outweigh the losses.
But there is an important mental method in love: not afraid of losing, you can get it.
Just like a full glass of water, only by pouring it out or drinking a part of it can you get new and energetic water.
Just like a tree, only when all the original leaves have been lost, the next spring can obtain a more lush, tender green leaf.
Why is it necessary to establish a mindset in a relationship that is not afraid of losing?
Because if we show that we care too much about the other person in a relationship, it will cause the other person to care less about our feelings.
The reason for this result is that even if the other party treats us badly and touches our bottom line, we don't make any resistance;
Every time we quarrel, we take the initiative to apologize and give in, only to be abandoned for fear of causing dissatisfaction with men.
But the more we back down, the less men will respect and care about us, which is a vicious circle in relationships.
Just like Nagi, she's already very competent as a girlfriend, and the first thing she does when she gets home is to cook for Shinji. Even if Shinji doesn't disclose the relationship between the two in the company, Nagi endures it silently.
It stands to reason that such a good girlfriend, Shinji should cherish it, but human nature is like this, the more unprincipled you give in to get along, the more he will have to inch in, and he will not cherish it.
Therefore, we must establish a mentality in our relationship that we are not afraid of loss.
The ancients said: If you lose your horse, you don't know if it's a blessing. Lost, often gets better.
Just like Xu Zhimo's wife Zhang Youyi, she was disliked by Xu Zhimo soon after she got married, and even if she gave birth to a child for Xu Zhimo, she still couldn't get any favor.
Xu Zhimo filed for divorce, and Zhang Youyi did not become depressed after the divorce, she lived alone in Germany with her children, where she started a new life model and fulfilled her dream of being a teacher.
Divorce from Xu Zhimo undoubtedly reborn her, she said: "Before I went to Germany, I was afraid of everything;After being in Germany, I have nothing to fear!”
Indeed, after divorcing Xu Zhimo, Zhang Youyi not only became more courageous, but also had good news in her career.
Later, she also met her soul mate Su Jizhi, and the two supported each other and spent their lives.
When I was in school, I always felt that learning Xi delayed playing, and I was not happy to learn Xi, and when I was playing, I was worried about learning Xi, which led to not having fun at playing. In short, the final result is that I didn't play well, and I didn't learn well.
Later, I learned that such a mentality is a twisted mentality.
Screwing, as the name suggests, screwing yourself up and stuttering emotions. It's like there are always two villains in my heart, one pulling the towel at one end, and the two twisting it in the opposite direction, the tighter it gets.
A more down-to-earth explanation of this mentality is that you can't get along with yourself and others, and you always stumble on some small things, consuming yourself and consuming the emotions of others.
Yingzi is easy to be like this in love, once her boyfriend discussed dinner with Yingzi, saying that because of overtime, it is estimated that he can't eat with her.
Yingzi's inner thought was that she just wanted to eat with him, and it was okay to be late, but the other idea was not to let her boyfriend feel that he was an annoying spirit, but the words came to his lips: "You are busy with your business, don't worry about my life or death." ”
As soon as these words came out, my boyfriend listened to it very much, which led to emotions at work, and finally although he came to pick up Yingzi for dinner, he didn't have anything to say during the whole process.
According to my observations, there are many girls who are in a relationship and similar situations will happen.
For example, I obviously like my boyfriend very much, but I always have to say some cruel things to observe how much my boyfriend values him;
Obviously unhappy but didn't say it in my heart, but my attitude was very cold when I ate and played, and my boyfriend asked for a long time and said that it was really okay ......
After getting along like this for a long time, her boyfriend is always speculating on their minds and can't find the right answer like a headless fly.
In retrospect, there are no good memories, only exhaustion, and when this relationship is almost consumed, it is time for him to leave.
Therefore, the mentality of not screwing is very important in the relationship, and if we want not to screw, we must know how to pay attention to our real needs.
Just like Yingzi, her boyfriend may not be able to pick her up for dinner because of work, she can weigh it in her heart first, whether she wants to eat with her boyfriend very much.
If so, you can express your needs positively, or you can choose a compromise approach, suggesting packing dinner to eat with him at the company, or waiting for him to finish his busy work and then go to eat together.
This not only satisfies the need to eat with your boyfriend, but also makes your boyfriend feel considerate, wouldn't it kill two birds with one stone?
Bi Shumin once said: Keeping a distance from each other may be the most appropriate way to communicate.
This is true for relatives and friends, as well as for loved ones. But many people think that when two people are together, they become a whole.
Specifically, it is manifested in paying attention, care, and even controlling all the big and small things of your partner, and everything you have experienced since you were born to the present, you can't wait to say it to your partner, and you don't let go of any details.
I have a friend who is like this, she is honest with each other, and as soon as she fell in love, she told her boyfriend about her past, including her past emotional experience, the troubles she experienced, her original family, and so on.
Once the two of them quarreled, and a friend's boyfriend blurted out: "With your character, no wonder your ex wants to break up with you!".”
As soon as these words came out, the two of them had a cold war for several days.
And this friend of mine is very manipulative of his boyfriend, sometimes to the point of being stubborn.
Her boyfriend likes to drink, she said that her boyfriend has been many times, but her boyfriend has not changed, so for the sake of her boyfriend's health, her friend made up her mind to let him quit drinking, and she quietly sold all the alcohol in the house on her own initiative.
Whenever her boyfriend has a party, she must go with her, just to supervise her boyfriend not to drink.
But there is no reason not to drink in the wine party, so every time the two of them come back from the party, they have to quarrel about it.
Because of this, the two broke up a lot, although they will be reconciled soon, but a good relationship can withstand such a toss.
It's like this during the love period, and it's really hard to think about getting married.
In relationships, crossing the line is very taboo. Men don't need their lovers to ask for warmth every day, care too much, and don't want to be controlled too tightly and lose their freedom.
When a girl loses her sense of boundaries in her relationship and blindly pays attention to and disciplines a man, the man will not be grateful, but will be even more disgusted.
Therefore, in love, you must have a mentality of not crossing the line, do not restrain men everywhere in the name of love, and know how to create a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere for the two of them.
Don't cross the line, don't expose yourself too much, be like a thick book, let the man read by himself, to explore, to discover the beauty.
At the same time, constantly absorb new energy, develop new hobbies, constantly enrich themselves, and let themselves be constantly updated and iterated like electronic products, so that men will be obsessed with themselves again and again.
The maintenance of feelings is not as difficult as imagined, nor is it as simple as imagined.
When you have these three mindsets, your love with him will be stronger and have a better chance of blossoming.
Author |Liu Wan loves words, likes psychology, pays attention to personal spiritual growth, is currently engaged in educational work, devotes herself to the study of gender relations and women's self-improvement, and hopes to let everyone have new feelings and gains from feelings through words.
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