100 help plan
In the original work of "Do You Know", Mo Lan and Ming Lan once had the topic of high marriage and low marriage.
Mo Lan: yes!There was a woman who married someone else, but she herself was not happy. This woman was born in this world, and it is not a word for 'fighting'Is it possible to sleep peacefully just because you are married lowly?
Minglan : It's different. But the high-married lady can only find a partner by herself, and what she wants to find is a good man and a good husband. If the father has a deeper affection for Aunt Lin, the old lady of the Wang family can send a companion room to assist, and the uncle of the Wang family can write to him to give advice, no one can surpass the wife;If you have a high surname, let alone marry high!Just like Sun Xiucai, there is also a capable maiden family who can help Sister Shulan get out of trouble and find a new marriage;But if you marry too high. That's really hard.
In short, if a daughter marries lower, she will be treated unfairly, and her maiden family can support her. But if she marries higher, no matter how many twists and turns she goes through, she can only bear it alone.
The Sheng family's daughter, Hua Lan, suffers untold pain after being married very high - her mother-in-law does not treat her well and often considers her as a dowry, while her husband is also initially a "foolish" person who will not rebel against her mother.
Hua Lan's heart was full of grievances, but she could only bear it alone.
It is gratifying that Mrs. Sheng has provided her with marriage advice twice. These two paragraphs of advice provide Hualan with a way to free himself from the "sea of suffering". Hualan has always followed these two pieces of advice, and after 10 years of hardship, he finally saw the dawn of hope.
Instruction 1: Women need to use wisdom in their daily lives, and they should not be easily bullied, nor should they get angry or stay out of the situation because of the impulse.
Since Hua Lan became a member of the Zhongqin Mansion, her husband Yuan Wenshao's mother, Hua Lan's mother-in-law, became quite indifferent to her.
Initially, Hua Lan thinks that she has done something wrong, so she begins to look for reasons in herself, and her attitude towards her mother-in-law becomes more respectful. But every time her mother-in-law came to visit her, she would follow her politely, and even say things like "I'm not your son". Despite this, the mother-in-law was still not impressed, she always found all kinds of excuses to stuff the room into Yuan Wenshao's room.
After getting along for a period of time, Hua Lan finally understood the root cause of her mother-in-law's cold attitude. This is mainly because the mother-in-law is prejudiced against the boss, and the eldest of the Yuan family is married to the niece of the mother-in-law herself, so the mother-in-law's care and care for the eldest family has also increased.
If Hua Lan just showed an indifferent attitude and endured a little patience, she would still be able to accept it.
However, the mother-in-law, who was prejudiced against Hua Lan, saw that Hua Lan's dowry conditions were very good, so she decided to support Hua Lan's dowry again.
Hua Lan's heart was full of grievances, but she was well aware of her husband's ignorance and filial piety, and was worried that if she complained more in front of her husband, she would not only lose the opportunity to marry, but also be treated unfairly in front of her husband.
Fortunately, at this critical moment, Hua Lan, who was in a dilemma, recalled the teachings given by her grandmother:
This lady really needs wisdom in her life. We can't let others bully us in a mess, and we can't get angry, angry, or angry exactly as we want it to be.
This is the teaching given by Hualan's grandmother, Mrs. Sheng.
When she was young, Mrs. Sheng was dissatisfied with the chaotic behavior of her husband, concubines, and servants, and she was emotionally impulsive, and had a fierce conflict with her husband.
At that time, I was really happy, but the relationship between Mrs. Sheng and her husband was also broken. After his death, his daughter was also sent to prison, and since then she has been a loner. After that, neither had any offspring.
Looking back, Mrs. Sheng felt both emotion and regret, she didn't want her beloved granddaughter to go back to the path she had walked, so before Hua Lan got married, she told her to stay calm.
Hualan lived up to her grandmother's expectations.
After calmly pondering, Hua Lan began to follow her grandmother's advice in order to put her current living situation in order.
Hualan realizes that she is being bullied by her mother-in-law, and this situation may continue for some time. She will use her savings to compensate. An individual's property may also suffer damage.
If I choose to get angry with my husband and have a conflict with my in-laws at this moment, although this can temporarily relieve my anger, I may not be able to benefit from it in the future like my grandmother.
After all, even if the in-laws really want to stabilize their emotions and fight for a fair treatment for themselves. I also have to think about my mother-in-law. However, the husband may develop resentment towards himself, which can lead to discord between the couple. I will also have resentment and hostility because my mother-in-law does not understand. If your in-laws don't have a good impression of you, your future life will become more difficult.
In view of this, Hua Lan knew that the grievances she suffered were inevitable, so she didn't want to be too sad about this matter.
As a human being, you can't be bullied senselessly. Hua Lan also began to think deeply about what he should do next.
Hua Lan knew very well that in ancient times, a key condition for women to gain a foothold in their in-laws' family was to have a son.
But Hua Lan was physically injured when she gave birth to her daughter, and due to the housekeeper, she did not have enough time for proper recuperation, so she has never been able to get pregnant.
Hualan decided to return home to ask for help. Under the advice and guidance of her grandmother, she first found a reason to hand over the laborious and unpopular housekeeping job to others, and then, according to the advice of her grandmother's best friend, Mrs. He, she began to carefully condition her body and fully prepare for the birth of her son in the future.
After Hua Lan gave birth to her son, her self-confidence and confidence were enhanced. So, she began to plan how to improve her living situation in her husband's house.
Instruction 2: Life requires patience, but the specific way of boiling should be decided based on the quality of the uncle.
If a woman wants to improve her living situation in her husband's home, it is crucial to have her husband's support. Only when there is trust and respect between husband and wife will each other's careers and lives be developed. Only when husband and wife have the same mind can the benefits of broken money be truly realized.
Hua Lan's spouse, Yuan Wenshao, was the legal second son of the Zhongqin Bofu family.
According to ancient tradition, the eldest son was regarded as a representative of the title. In the mid-to-late Ming Dynasty, due to land issues and other reasons, many people turned them from concubines into princes, and these princes and grandchildren had to leave the territory for a certain distance before returning to their families. The title of Zhongqin Bofu has no direct connection with Yuan Wenshao. Even after the death of Yuan Wenshao's father, Yuan Wenshao and his family had to leave the Earl's Court.
Therefore, Hua Lan only needs to hold on to her husband's heart, and then properly control her behavior, sometimes "selling miserably" in front of him.
Of course, this kind of "miserable" behavior is only used when the mother-in-law's behavior is too extreme, and she usually suffers in silence, but at the same time she will try to make her husband understand her efforts, thus triggering his guilt towards her.
For example, in everyday life, when her mother-in-law only needs a small amount of silver, Hualan is silent. Because she knows that her mother-in-law wants to use all the money on her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and her life is not good, it is better to take these acres of land as a mortgage!When the mother-in-law began to have a greater appetite and wanted to use Hua Lan's wedding Zhuangzi to hold a wedding ceremony for her daughter, Hua Lan confided her grievances to her husband and father-in-law.
You have to understand that although the truth can be covered up by looting the silver taels, Zhuangzi cannot hide the truth in the matter of robbing his daughter-in-law of dowry. Hua Lan's father-in-law will definitely handle this matter fairly.
Yuan Wenshao is well aware of the injustice suffered by his wife, so he will feel heartache and will take steps to compensate for her loss by caring more for his wife. He wanted to be a good husband, a good father, and a good son. At the same time, he is also angry at his mother's unfair treatment.
As time passed, Yuan Wenshao's filial piety to his mother gradually decreased, and he began to pour his deep affection for his mother into his wife Hua Lan and several other children.
Later, Yuan Wenshao made it clear to Hua Lan: "You shouldn't always be accommodating to your mother, if your mother has any requests, please feel free to tell me!."”
You see, thanks to Hua Lan's unremitting efforts, Yuan Wenshao is no longer the man who does not distinguish between his mother and is blindly filial. His mother had been dead for many years, and he was an orphan, and he had to travel long distances every day to find her in order to treat her. According to this direction of development, as long as Hua Lan can hold on to the day of separation, she will definitely live a good life.
Grandmother also offers some advice on "how to spend each day".
Life does require patience, but in the end, it depends on how well your uncle performs. If you are a man with a heart, you should give him more love and care for him. If you are a person who has no distractions, then you should concentrate some funds and care more about your own interests. If your uncle has both a conscience and a heart of compassion for you, then you should think of him wholeheartedly and not be stingy with anything.
In Hua Lan's eyes, Yuan Wenshao is undoubtedly a competent husband. He was a good husband, a man who knew how to care for people. He was full of love, respect, and care for himself. Therefore, Hualan is also willing to put more energy and thought into Yuan Wenshao's life.
Although Hua Lan's dowry silver had been confiscated by her mother-in-law, in order to ensure that Yuan Wenshao had enough silver taels to deal with the relationship between his superiors and subordinates, Hua Lan chose to be patient and used her precious jewelry as currency in exchange.
However, in this place, Hualan also remained vigilant. She chose not ordinary jewelry, but a gold collar that each of the Sheng family's daughters owned and often weared.
Yuan Wenshao will soon be able to perceive the disappearance of this circle, and he will also be able to appreciate his wife's dedication and grievances, so he will naturally have some dissatisfaction with his mother's partiality.
Yuan Wenshao obviously noticed something strange at first glance. He eagerly asked where Hua Lan's gold collar was.
Hua Lan smiled ashamedly and said, "I'm already a mother, what kind of gold collar do I still wear?."”
Yuan Wenshao knew that the gold collar belonged to every daughter of the Sheng family, and Hua Lan now needed to take care of it for himself through pawns. This made him even more angry with Madame Yuan, and he told her in a sonorous voice: "You can rest assured, I will make up your dowry for you!".”
Hua Lan said with a gentle smile: "Shao Lang is a man of his word and has never broken his promise. ”
Hua Lan did not misjudge anyone.
Subsequently, Yuan Wenshao took care of the family wholeheartedly, not only bringing back the dowry for Hualan, but also arranging a temporary residence sent by his mother.
The deeper the affection between the couple, the better.
Regarding the situation of Hua Lan's mother-in-law, the relationship between her husband and her has broken down, and he has not given enough attention. Subsequently, under the guidance of Minglan , Hua Lan carefully planned to marry a good concubine for her father-in-law.
Hua Lan's mother-in-law began to concentrate on her good concubine, so she did not have time to calculate Hua Lan's interests.
After many years of married life, Hualan finally experienced sincere happiness.
End of article. The reason why I especially like to read "Know" is because I think that although the background of "Know" is set in ancient times, the profound meaning it conveys still has a far-reaching practical impact today.
Just like Hua Lan, she is married to a good husband who both loves and respects her. But he can't bring himself love in the true sense, and he can't give himself the opportunity to be with the person he loves, so they are destined to be an impossible couple. However, this does not mean that both princes and princesses can enjoy happy days.
On the contrary, marriage is only the beginning of the trivial matters of married life. In the days that followed, relying on love alone would not last.
Hua Lan was so lucky.
Under the careful guidance and guidance of Mrs. Sheng, she managed carefully and attentively, and finally won a harmonious family and a happy life.
Although it may seem tiring on the surface, there is no easy path to true happiness, and marriage also needs to be carefully managed.
As long as the results are positive, all the effort is meaningful.