In the original book "Do You Know", there is a high marriage and low marriage between Mo Lan and Ming Lan.
Mo Lan: Hmph!Women are born to live, how can there be anything that doesn't 'fight'?If you dare to marry low, you can sit back and relax
Minglan said: The difference is. Daddy has a good impression of Aunt Lin, the old lady of the Wang family can send the companion room to help, the uncle of the Wang family can send a letter to help him, no one can be a better lady;is like Sun Xiucai, who is a bastard, and with a powerful mother's family, she can help Sister Shulan get out of the sea of suffering and find another good fate;But high marriage. It's difficult.
In a word, if you marry low and your daughter is wronged, your mother's family can still help support her, but if she marries high, no matter how cold or warm she experiences, her daughter will only suffer by herself.
And Hua Lan, the daughter of the Sheng family, suffered a lot after marrying - her mother-in-law was unfriendly to her, and she kept beating her to marry, and her husband was also very "stupid" at the beginning and did not resist her mother.
Hua Lan was wronged, but she had to carry it alone.
The only thing that is gratifying is that Mrs. Sheng gave her two marriage guidance. These two sections of guidance have also become a good way to save Hualan from the "sea of suffering", because Hualan insisted on doing it according to these two paragraphs, after 10 years of grievances, she finally guarded Yunkai and saw the moon.
Instruction 1: Women need to use their brains in life, and they can't be bullied at will, let alone gamble and lose their temper.
Since Hua Lan married into Zhongqin Bofu, her husband Yuan Wenshao's mother, Hua Lan's mother-in-law, has always been indifferent to her.
At first, Hua Lan thought that he had done something wrong, so she looked to him for the bottom of it, and treated her mother-in-law more and more respectfully. But the mother-in-law was still unmoved, and she even kept looking for an excuse to stuff the room into Yuan Wenshao's room.
After getting along for a while, Hua Lan realized that the reason why her mother-in-law had a cold attitude was only because she favored the boss, and the eldest of the Yuan family was married, and she was also her mother-in-law's niece, so her mother-in-law took more and more care of the old family.
If it is only an indifferent attitude, Hua Lan can accept it.
But Hua Lan, the eccentric mother-in-law, saw that Hua Lan was generous in marriage, so she called Hua Lan again.
Hua Lan was full of wealth, but because she knew her husband's foolishness and filial piety, she was worried that once she complained many times in front of her husband, she would not only lose the opportunity to marry, but also end up in front of her husband.
Fortunately, at this time, Hua Lan, who was in a dilemma, remembered her grandmother's teachings:
This woman, life must use her brain. You can't be confused and let people bully people, and you can't completely rely on your heart to lose your temper, ignore your temper, and be angry.
There is a lesson from Grandma Hualan and Mrs. Sheng.
When Mrs. Sheng was young, she was unable to see her husband and concubine's room, and her servants were chaotic, so she was straightforward and angry, and she tore her face with her husband.
It was very cool at that time, but the relationship between Mrs. Sheng and her husband was broken like this. They have no offspring since.
Looking back suddenly, Mrs. Sheng either sighed or regretted, she didn't want her beloved granddaughter to go back to the old path, so before Hua Lan got married, she told her to calm down.
Hualan lived up to expectations and taught her grandmother by word and deed.
After calming down, Hua Lan began to follow her grandmother's instructions to clean up everything in front of her.
Hua Lan understands that she is being bullied by her mother-in-law, and it is estimated that she will continue to do so for a while. There is also loss of their own belongings.
If you have a seizure at this time, when you are angry with your husband, or angry with your in-laws, although you can resolve your anger for a while, you can't get any benefits like your grandmother did at the beginning.
After all, even the in-laws have to be for their own stability and justice. But the husband was dissatisfied, and there was a rift between the husband and wife. His in-laws also felt bad about him, and his later life was very difficult.
In view of this, Hua Lan clearly realized that it was inevitable that she had been wronged, and she was too lazy to feel sorry for it.
But one must not be bullied in vain. Hua Lan began to seriously think about the future.
Hua Lan clearly knew that the most important condition for women in ancient times to gain a foothold in their in-laws' family was to give birth to a son.
But when Hua Lan gave birth to a daughter, after recovering from the injury, because of the housekeeper, she didn't have time to recuperate well, and she couldn't get her heart down.
Hua Lan chose to go home and ask for help. After being lit by her grandmother, she first found out the reason, threw away the strenuous housekeeping errands, and then carefully cultivated herself according to the prescription of her grandmother's best friend, Mrs. He, in preparation for the birth of a son.
And after giving birth to her son, Hua Lan was full of confidence. She also set out to figure out how to change the situation in her husband's home.
Instruction 2: It is necessary to boil out life, but how to boil it out depends on the personality of the aunts.
In order for women to change their position in their husbands' families, they must first have the support of their husbands. Husband and wife can only make profits and break gold with one heart and one mind.
Hualan's husband Yuan Wenshao, the second son of the Zhongqin Bofu family.
According to the ancient practice, the eldest son refers to the title. The knighthood of Zhongqin Bofu has nothing to do with Yuan Wenshao. Even after Yuan Wenshao's father died, Yuan Wenshao's family also needed to move out of the Earl's Palace.
Therefore, as long as Hua Lan gathers her husband's heart and then grasps the proportions, she will "sell miserably" in front of her husband from time to time.
Although this "miserable sale" is only used when the mother-in-law is extraordinarily excessive, she can't bear it on weekdays, but she tries her best to make her husband understand what she gives, which incurs her husband's guilt.
For example, on weekdays, the mother-in-law did not loot much silver, and Hua Lan did not speak. When her mother-in-law's appetite increased and she wanted to accompany Hua Lan to Zhuangzi to accompany her daughter, Hua Lan went to cry to her husband and father-in-law.
It must be known that the looting of silver can still be concealed, but the robbery of the daughter-in-law to marry Zhuangzi cannot be concealed. Of course, Hualan's father must deal with it impartially.
Yuan Wenshao will also be heartbroken because he realizes the grievances suffered by his wife, and he can also find ways to compensate his wife by treating his wife better. At the same time, he will also be angry because his mother is unfair.
After a long time, Yuan Wenshao's filial mother's heart became much smaller, and he began to think about pinning his heart for his mother on his wife Hualan and several children.
Later, Yuan Wenshao also said directly to Hua Lan: "Don't obey your mother in everything in the future, if your mother has more requests, just say it!."”
You must know that with Hua Lan's efforts, Yuan Wenshao is no longer a person who does not distinguish between right and wrong and is foolish to his mother. According to this development trend, Hualan only needs to survive the day of separation, and will definitely have a good life.
As for the question of "how to spend this day", grandma also gave guidance:
You have to get through life, but it depends on how your uncle is. If a person does not have a heart, he should put away his money and take care of himself more. If your uncle has a conscience and feels sorry for you, you will think about him wholeheartedly, and don't be stingy in everything.
Yuan Wenshao's good husband in Hua Lan's eyes. He loved himself, respected himself, and was thoughtful. Therefore, Hua Lan is also willing to think more about Yuan Wenshao.
Even Hua Lan's dowry silver taels were collected by her mother-in-law, in order to let Yuan Wenshao have enough silver taels up and down, Hua Lan couldn't bear it, and exchanged her valuable jewelry for it.
But Hua Lan also keeps an eye on this. What she makes is not ordinary jewelry, it is a gold collar that the daughter of the Sheng family has and will often wear.
After this collar disappeared, Yuan Wenshao could quickly notice it, and he could also feel his wife's giving and grievances, which was natural, and he would complain a few times because of his mother's partiality.
Yuan Wenshao really saw that something was wrong at a glance. He forced Hualanjin to go to the collar.
Hua Lan smiled: "I'm all a mother, what kind of gold collar do I want to wear?."”
Yuan Wenshao learned that the golden collar was one of the daughters of the Sheng family, and Hua Lan now had to rely on pawns to clean herself up, and he even had a grudge against Mrs. Yuan in his heart, and said sonorously: "Don't worry!."I will make it up to you little by little after your dowry!”
Hua Lan smiled softly: "Shao Lang keeps his promise and never breaks his promises. ”
Hua Lan was really not mistaken.
After that, Yuan Wenshao wanted to take care of his family, earn back the dowry for Hua Lan, and send away the house that his mother stuffed him.
The relationship between the couple is also getting better and better.
For Hualan's mother-in-law, her husband took very little care of her. Later, Hualan was enlightened by Minglan and designed to help her father-in-law take a good concubine.
Hua Lan's mother-in-law's firepower turned to the good concubine, of course, she had no time to calculate Hua Lan's affairs.
Hualan also reaped true joy after a few years of marriage.
Wrote to the end.
The reason why I love to read the book "Know" is because I feel that although the background of the times of "Know" is ancient, the truth conveyed in the book still has strong practical significance.
Like Hua Lan, although he married a good husband who loves and respects himself like a son. However, this does not mean that both princes and princesses can live happily.
But getting married is just the prelude to the trivial life after marriage. And the life after that, it can't be maintained by love alone.
Hualan was lucky.
She relied on the guidance of Mrs. Sheng, carefully and carefully managed every step, so that she could harvest a harmonious home and a happy life.
It seems to be bitter, but in fact, there is no shortcut to happiness, and marriage is to be managed.
As long as the results are good, all the efforts are worthwhile.