Whether you are looking for a partner or making friends, one of the most important qualities is the emotional stability of the other person and yourself.
I remember an incident in which a Guangzhou security guard stabbed the owner of a Mercedes-Benz to death, and you may have heard of it.
It happened in November 2021, in the parking lot of Tianhuan Plaza in Guangzhou, because of the epidemic, security guards needed to measure the temperature of vehicles entering and leaving. However, the Mercedes owner did not take the initiative to roll down the window, and the security guard knocked on the window to alert him.
As a result, this move made the Mercedes owner very unhappy, rolled down the window and began to abuse the security guard, who he said was a watchdog.
The argument eventually turned into a fight, with the security guard taking out a knife and stabbing the Mercedes owner to death.
In recent years, there have been many news stories of regret due to emotional impulses, such as the aforementioned incident of cutting off people's heads for a dollar in Wuhan and the bus incident in Guizhou.
In fact, there is a phenomenon in psychology called the 12-second effect, which is that people only have a 12-second awareness period in a state of rage. If you can control your emotions, things won't actually be a big deal.
However, it is precisely these 12 seconds that are enough to make many regret it.
Therefore, I think emotional stability is one of the greatest abilities of adults.
We need emotions, and emotional stability does not mean controlling or suppressing emotions, but learning to live with our emotions. If we are constantly driven by emotions, it can make us feel exhausted, such as mental exhaustion and depression.
I remember watching a ** before about a species of wild horse and vampire bat living in the African savannah.
These wild horses became one of the targets of bat-sucking, and many wild horses died as a result.
However, the results of the scientists' research are surprising, in fact, bats absorb very little blood, so why do these wild horses die?
The reason is that after being bitten, they are furious and keep running wildly, and eventually exhaust their physical strength and die.
The most important thing is that we need to know how to regulate our emotions. Sometimes life can make us feel tired, but how should we adjust our emotions?
Learn to accept negative emotions because emotions are just a signal that our brain sends to us to protect our bodies and safety. We may feel anxious, restless, uncomfortable, annoyed, and so on.
However, it is usually not the emotions themselves that really cause these emotions to arise, but our perceptions.
As a simple example, when you come home from work, your wife suddenly tells you that Lao Wang next door has bought a new house. This makes you angry, and then you start arguing.
However, if you calmly analyze rationally, your wife is not necessarily complaining about you when she says this, nor does it necessarily mean that she wants to leave you and be with Lao Wang.
Many times, we tend to over-interpret and ignore that it may just be the wife who wants to share it with you, or be spoiled, and at the same time there may be some envy and jealousy.
However, you may feel aggrieved or incompetent.
Such an argument will only lead to more and more problems, and you may not even be able to enjoy dinner.
In life, we often find that some people make things more and more complicated, and whether it is marriage, workplace, or family, wrong perceptions bring bad emotions, which in turn leads to bad results.
Therefore, we must remember that cognition determines destiny, and the path will be stable only if the mind is smooth.
Recalling Huang Bo's experience when he first debuted, I remember that he went to a crew to audition for the role of a thief.
Because of his unsightly appearance, the director said directly: "This, what is this?" Who asked him to come? Such a public humiliation.
If it were someone else, you might have started to lose your temper long ago, thinking that others don't respect you.
However, Huang Bo completed his performance brilliantly like no one else, so that everyone stopped talking.
The difference between a master and an ordinary person is that he does not let his emotions affect his judgment and is able to remain calm and composed in any situation.
In the final analysis, the truth is actually at the theoretical level, and as the saying goes, people will not change because of the truth.
Many people prefer to endure Xi pain for a long time rather than embark on a difficult journey to happiness.