Not long ago, a good friend complained to me that she didn't think her boyfriend was as nice to her as he used to be.
When he first started pursuing her, he was obedient to her, and he would show up immediately with just one a**. However, as time went on, life gradually got back on track, and her boyfriend took less care of her. He was too busy with work to reply to messages right away;No longer answering overtime**. What made her even more dissatisfied was that on Valentine's Day last time, her boyfriend didn't give her a gift. She was angry and frustrated, and the two argued and even proposed to break up, even though that wasn't what she really thought.
Therefore, he complained: "Do men stop giving after getting the girl's heart?"”
Not all men are like this, and it is important to understand the importance of wanting men to be good to you consistently. Whether male or female, everyone's energy is limited. No one can always be nice to another person unconditionally and without expecting anything in return.
To solve this problem, we need to understand the principle of reciprocity.
What is the principle of reciprocity?
In short, try to repay others for what they have done to us in a similar way. It's an act that should be rewarded with a similar one.
This principle refers to the fact that if the other person gives us some kind of favor, we should repay the favor in a similar way. We cannot be indifferent to the friendliness of others, let alone reciprocate virtue with resentment.
If we want to get some kind of benefit from someone, perhaps giving first will make the other person feel grateful and thus more likely to get a response.
Emerson once said, "One of the best remedies in life is to help oneself while genuinely helping others." ”
In interpersonal interactions, most people have this kind of reciprocity mentality, and they will try to reciprocate after receiving favors from the other person.
For example, if someone helps us, we will also help him;Or give him a gift or treat him to a meal in return.
The principle of reciprocity can sometimes obscure the impression that the caller makes.
This is because people's inner feelings of indebtedness and social pressures are at play.
Reciprocity arises from our inner sense of indebtedness, and once we receive a favor from others, we will feel pressured and feel that we owe a debt to the other person. If we can repay the same or even more valuable favors, we can quickly relieve this psychological pressure.
However, if a person accepts a favor from others without any intention of reciprocating it, he cannot be recognized by society. While it is understandable that there are situations where there are circumstances that cannot be reciprocated due to external conditions or limited capabilities, society as a whole generally has an aversion to people who do not follow the principle of reciprocity.
Therefore, we can use this principle to make men continue to be good to us, as the Tao Te Ching says: "If you want to take it first, you must give it first".
For example, when you have been together for a long time, your boyfriend gradually drifts apart, or even ignores you during the holidays, you don't have to rush to get angry, let alone say that he doesn't love you anymore, and don't rush to say that you broke up.
First of all, you can choose a day that is meaningful to him on weekdays and give him a gift, preferably one that he likes. Only in this way can his sense of indebtedness be effectively stimulated.
But be careful not to put too much pressure on him and not to put more pressure on him than he can handle. If the other party's income is average, don't ask for gifts that are too expensive, such as LV, etc.
Secondly, you can guide him subtly and let him know what gift you particularly want, when and where it is best to receive it. Under the influence of the principle of reciprocity, he will not remain indifferent.
Finally, remember that if the other person does not react to your gift, does not give anything in return, and only knows how to ask for it but does not know how to give, then stop the loss in time and do not let yourself continue to be hurt.