Before liberation, China was in a feudal society for a long time, and when the economic situation was bad, there were always 10%-20% of men who couldn't get a wife, so in China,The leftover men have existed for a long time, while the leftover women are the products of modern times.
The first generation of leftover women appeared in large numbers, and they were post-80s women living in first-tier cities, and the post-80s generation was the first batch of leftover women in China after industrialization.
Although there will be leftover women in the 90s and 00s one after another, by chance, post-80s women first opened the door to leftover women.
I remember when I first went to Shenzhen to graduate, I wanted to rent a house near the company, and I searched everywhere on the Internet**, and I found a **, in which lived two young ladies in the early 80s, at least at that time, it could be called that. They released ** information, the strange thing is that when they talk about renting a house, they keep asking me where my hometown is, whether it is a long-term development in Shenzhen, how much is a monthly salary, which unit it is, what hobbies do you usually have, etc., one of the young ladies also said that she has a Shenzhen hukou, it is very convenient to go to Hong Kong, and you can press your fingerprints.
As a straight man of steel, he didn't think much about it when he saw this situation, and he didn't come to his senses until a few years later.
It can be seen that in that thought, the young lady born in the 80s in Shenzhen has already felt the marriage crisis, so she is looking for a tenant as a partner.
Because of well-known reasons, women's physical and psychological age matures faster, women are awake at the age of 20, while men generally reach the age of 30, they feel the marriage crisis earlier, and they are worried that they will not be able to find a suitable partner in Shenzhen to marry and stay in Shenzhen.
Note that it is not that they can't get married, with their knowledge, ability, and appearance, they can go back to their hometown and find a civil servant to marry in minutes, but in Shenzhen, they can't.
After staying in Shenzhen for a long time, it is difficult to adapt to the life of third, fourth, fifth and sixth-tier cities and counties, and when I return to my hometown, I have no suitable job opportunities in addition to the examination editor, and I have lost my job**, and my skills are nowhere to be used, plus I am looking for a greasy and obscene husband, it is really scary to think about it, and I will divorce and return to Shenzhen in minutes.
Therefore, the best way out they plan for themselves is to find a man who has been rooted in Shenzhen for a long time to marry and live together, even if it is to struggle together.
However, the real problem is that there are not many men who can stay in Shenzhen, according to the data that is not completely credible and nonsense, 400,000 men come to Shenzhen every year, 5 years is 2 million, and finally can buy a house in Shenzhen to take root, but less than 200,000, the rest have to obediently go back to their hometown or go to the second-tier cities below the development, at the same time, the next wave of men continue to rush in, so Shenzhen is getting more and more crowded, and then only 100,000 men can take root and buy a house to gain a foothold, and in the last few years this number is not even 50,000。
According to official figures, Shenzhen's permanent population is close to 18 million, and the proportion of men and women is basically equal, but if you live in Shenzhen, you know that the actual population of Shenzhen should reach 30 million, of which the proportion of women will be higher.
In many second-tier cities, there are basically no people after 11 o'clock in the evening, but the same area in Shenzhen is brightly lit and people come and go all night.
Everyone dreams of coming to Shenzhen to make a fortune and put down roots, but most of them have become Shenzhen's fuel.
So it's not hard to understand why women want to find a man with a house to live with, after all, no one wants to sleep on the streets.
Women can be single for the time being and endure renting for the sake of development, but men can't, they want to buy a house, get married, and have children.
In 2010, the phenomenon of leftover women in Shenzhen was already obvious, and there were already many female friends in their 40s who were not married.
Often if you are not married at the age of 40, it will be difficult to get married again.
This kind of people are divided into two categories, one is married and even has children, and the other is completely unmarried and childless.
From my observations, people with children are much better off than those without children, and they are more hopeful about the future.
I have communicated with many older leftover women, and found that persuading them to marry is almost out of reality.
persuading them to get married is nothing more than backward compatibility, sister and brother love, and exotic love, but the reality is that these situations are full of sourness and bitterness.
Needless to say, backward compatibility is an increase in economic and mental drag, and it is better to live an easy life by yourself. Sister and brother love is okay if they are of the same age, but the gap is too big and they basically won't get married, and boys often have accidents. Exotic love, even if you can get married, it will be fresh for a while, stars like Coco Li and Lin Chiling can't manage transnational love, ordinary people should forget it, only they know how painful it can be after getting married.
Although I no longer persuade them to marry, I still persuade them to have a child.
Whether it's egg freezing or other methods, you should give yourself a foundation for your life so as not to die alone.
Although it is very tiring to take care of children, it will be much better after the first five years, and when the child can be alive, it will be found that it will grow up quickly, and the child can inherit your genes, appearance, and can also protect your property and take care of your old age, so that you will not be pulled out by relatives when you have not yet breathed, and will not be eaten by relatives, nor will you be beaten and scolded in nursing homes.
Regardless of whether they are married or not, women with children will have more rush and feel much less anxious than those who do not have children. Although they have been looking for a partner, they are all holding the attitude of trying it out, and they also know that most men are just greedy for their bodies, and they have never thought about getting married, and they have children to support them, and they are more secure.
Now children born out of wedlock can also be registered, and there is also a birth certificate, and all rights are enjoyed with the mother, which is the same as that of normal children, avoiding a lot of trouble.
And many older leftover women belong to people who can't be persuaded and can't be persuaded to get married, and those who want to get married are already extremely anxious, so they still need you to persuade themIt's useless to wear out your mouth if you don't want to get married.
Unlike older leftover women, there are relatively few leftover men in first- and second-tier cities, and they are more concentrated at the bottom of China's marginal society.
If you call older unmarried young women leftover women, you will attract a lot of attacks and abuse on the Internet, but if you call older unmarried men leftover men, even if you use more ugly words to describe them, basically no one will fight back against you.
And they're going to say, yes, I'm the leftover man.
It's not because leftover men won't fight back, but because leftover women are often in the middle of society and occupy the right to speak on the Internet, while leftover men are often concentrated at the bottom of society and have a weaker right to speak, but also because they are more wooden, not very familiar with the Internet, or life is too hard, and they don't have time or channels to express themselves.
The leftover man is also more calm about his situation, you laugh at him for not being able to marry a wife, they rarely argue and complain, they will follow your words and say that they really can't please, it's okay to be alone, mix up the days, brush up on Tik Tok, and live more economically.
In fact, at what age can leftover women get married, mainly because there is a difference between good and bad marriage, the most basic reason is that after industrialization, women are more independent and have obtained a good income, and Mu Qiang's mentality makes them unwilling to be backward compatible.
And men can't get a daughter-in-law to become a pipe roll, but it has a history of thousands of years in China, even in the Ming and Qing dynasties, the preference for sons over daughters led to an imbalance in the proportion, the rich have three wives and four concubines, and the proportion of singles has always been maintained at 10-20%.
The early marriage of the ancients generally refers to women, and the age of first marriage for men will be 5-10 years later than that of women, and the average life expectancy of people at that time is only 45 years old, so many men cannot see their children reach adulthood.
It is a rare thing that women can't get married in modern times, and it is normal for men to be singles for a lifetime, not only in China, but also in this situation all over the world, the United Kingdom, Japan, Hong Kong, South Korea is even more serious, Hong Kong's 40-44-year-old leftover women, from 6% in 1991 to 20% now, in fact, the inner truth is the same.
Men and women have their own suffering, men work hard, women have pain in childbirth, so those who engage in confrontation between men and women on the Internet, and teach men or women to PUA each other are bad seeds, and men and women can only fight against the suffering brought by life if they cooperate.
The leftover women can't find a partner to have a baby, so what about the men?
It's very simple, go down to find a daughter-in-law, go to South Asia and Central Asia to find a daughter-in-law.
I read the memoirs of a Japanese, in the 90s, Japanese men couldn't find a daughter-in-law, so they came to Shanghai on a blind date, but as soon as they entered the room, good guys, more than a dozen women looked forward to it, and they were happy to show him directly.
There are more in Britain and the United States, if you want to say greasy, there are more greasy uncles over there, there are not a few fat, ugly and poor, and they don't like to study, they can't marry a daughter-in-law in their own country, and white women don't look down on them, so they go to Asia or Latin America to find them.
The green card in the United States is very strict, and it is easy not to give it, and only high-level talents can get it, but in the future, to take care of the majority of low-level men, in order to ensure social stability, they will use the green card as a medium for marriage, and many women will do anything to marry them for the green card, just like our Wendi Deng.
Deng Wendi is known as the ceiling of fishing girls, in 1985 when he was still studying English at Guangzhou Medical College, he met the Cherry couple in the United States, and was introduced to the University of California by them. As a result, less than 4 months, I met a wealthy businessman at school, and Gao was with a wealthy businessman, and the wealthy businessman sponsored her to study for an MBA, during which she had not divorced Cherry, and when she got her green card in 1992, she immediately abandoned Cherry. After graduating from MBA in 96, he immediately parted ways with a wealthy businessman.
After graduation, Wendi Deng met Bruce, the director of Murdoch's News Corporation, on the plane, and was introduced by him to work at Star TV, and married Murdoch in 99.
Taking stock of Aunt Deng's experience, the most critical step is to get a green card.
With a green card, you can study, work, and enjoy the benefits of the United States, and the lower limit of life will be very high.
In Wendi Deng's marriage, there is no sincerity, it is all skills.
The United States also knows that some people use green cards as a means of marriage, but for the sake of social stability and the interests of the bottom of their own society, they can bear it.
All countries are heartbroken to solve the problem of marriage of leftover men in the future, and in the end, without exception, they all choose backward compatibility, which is the fastest, safest, and most effective way.
Some people say that China is not rich, so why go to Southeast Asia to find a daughter-in-law.
This is the comparative advantage, although the men at the bottom of China are not rich, but the rest of the world is even worse. The places with high housing prices in China are all in first- and second-tier cities, and houses of five or six thousand or even three or four thousand abound in the county seat, and a male laborer working on the construction site is no problem to get five or six or seven or eight thousand a month, and he can also mortgage a house in the county town by gritting his teeth, and then find a foreign daughter-in-law to start a family.
And China's industrial advantages are very prominent,All kinds of household appliances are complete, and it doesn't cost 10,000 yuan,I bought 75 Skyworth color TV last month is only more than 2000 points,Not to mention any microwave ovens,Washing machine,Refrigerator,A month's salary is almost the same as cardboard。
Moreover, China's grain and food are also well controlled, and most Southeast Asian and Central Asian countries cannot meet this condition.
Therefore, there is still a lot of room for downward compatibility with leftover men in China, and sooner or later my country will also open this threshold to help many leftover men solve their marriage problems.
Finally, to sum up.
1. Don't persuade the leftover girl to get married, but you can persuade her to have a baby.
2. Don't persuade leftover men to get married, going abroad to find a daughter-in-law is the best solution.
3. I hope that we can see the voice of the people, give some subsidies to the leftover girls, reduce their raising costs, and at the same time let go of some convenient conditions for foreign wives to find wives and provide a little policy support.
Above.