The story of the death of a student in a certain place is not over.
Judging from the local performance in the past few days and the attitude of the Internet towards this matter, the truth we want may be far away, or it may be very slim.
The truth may be in the two suicide notes that the school said, but so far, we have not seen the contents of the suicide note;However,We may be able to find some answers in another 14-year-old's 1,500-word farewell book!
Let's first analyze the content of this letter, which is a farewell letter from a 14-year-old girl to her parents!
The letter begins:
"If there is an afterlife, we will not meet again.In just 12 words, it interprets the 14-year-old child's disgust with the world and his disgust with his relatives.
But what can a 14-year-old child go through?
It is nothing more than internal conflicts from the family, such as the discord between the parents, arguing all day long, and leaving the child caught in the middle.
I said a real case that happened around me, my classmate, both husband and wife are successful people, the husband does his own business, net worth tens of millions, the wife just started to help her husband take care of the business, and finally because she had two children, she retired and took care of the two children at home.
But slowly the contradiction between the two breaths began, the husband often went out to socialize, in and out of various occasions, the wife was worried that her husband would have a relationship with other women on such occasions, and the other was that she felt that she was neglected, so she was very dissatisfied and often quarreled;
At the beginning, I had a quarrel with my children, but in the end, I didn't avoid my children, and I could quarrel at home, in the company, and even in the shopping mall.
Once, the child had a birthday and invited his classmates to a party in the restaurant, and the parents quarreled in front of the classmates, the daughter cried and persuaded the parents, and the mother said: We are not quarreling for you.
When the daughter heard this, she ran out directly, and the parents thought that the child had come home and continued to quarrel in the restaurant.
But when they came home in the evening, they found that the children had not returned, and it was not until 12 o'clock in the middle of the night that they began to be anxious.
mobilized relatives, called the police, and searched for 3 days before finding them at the grandparents' house in the countryside.
The conflict of the original family has a huge impact on the child, and at the age of 40, I still remember the scene when I was 4 years old, when my father beat my mother with a wooden stick!
The second is pressure from parents.
We are all for your good", parents always put this sentence on their lips, and I am the same.
It is under the pressure of this sentence that our expectations of our children are so high that we seem to forget that they are still childish children.
As the girl's suicide note said:
"It's not me you love, it's me who rushed into the top 10 of the class, the top 20 in the grade, and the one who got a perfect score. ”Yes, we have seen too many children who have had accidents, including last year's Hu Xinyu, this year's Ningling students, and many children who committed suicideThe child is very sensible and obedient, and he learns very well. However, we seem to be only seeing the surface.
When we see that our children have scored full marks in the exam, we praise them, but we ignore the hard work and scoundrels behind the children;
When we see our children doing poorly, we speak coldly to them, but we never think about what the reason for the child's poor test, whether it is physical reasons, psychological reasons, or the exam questions are too difficult, we are used to taking the poor grades as the child does not work hard, so we blame them.
When we see children playing for a while, we think they're not doing their job.
Even many parents use their own hard work to put pressure on their children: Look at you, we work hard and save money, all in order to make you productive.
As a result, children have a sense of guilt and guilt, so they try to satisfy their parents, force themselves to do what they don't want to do, and force themselves to strangle their preferences and dreams in the cradle.
Therefore, we often find that most children have two sides, they behave very well-behaved in front of their parents, and when they avoid their parents, they will release themselves, play games, swear, and even beat and scold others.
"I am the one who brings you honor and face, the spokesperson who is strict with filial piety, and the tool to compare in front of friends. ”Indeed, the topic of communication between adults will eventually fall on children.
Whose children are obedient and study well have become the capital for parents to show off.
And those parents of naughty and mischievous children, when they hear that other parents are proud of their children, and then look at their own children, they can't help but sulk. It is another beating and scolding and insult to the child:
Look at the children of the xxx family, they study well and are obedient, and then look at you, it's like a waste.
Not to mention 10-year-old children, even if we are adults, can we bear it psychologically when we hear such words?
Your own children are the best and most obedient, so you are more demanding of your children.
But we seem to forget that they are still children, not tools to win glory for the family!
"The slap hurts the most in the face, then the back of the hand, then the arm, and finally the thigh. The most effective way to humiliate people is to get her to stand outside the house in slippers and show them to others, and then to scream the worst words every day and night. ”Listening to this child's thoughts on his parents, we can't help but find that most of us parents are such people.
Regardless of the occasion, we always think that children are small and do not account too much;I've also seen an extreme mom who, at the end of school, insulted her own child in front of hundreds of classmates. The child's head was lowered to the ground.
With this kind of education, children will not only not obey, but will also be counterproductive.
Children are very sensitive and have strong self-esteem, especially the injuries left by childhood, which will affect a lifetime and even affect their children's education.
"Ruining a person is simple, it only takes ruining her childhood. ”Yes, we are all criticizing the current state of education, but we are ignoring our own introspection.
The current children have become a tool for exam-oriented education, a capital for parents to show off, and a tool for capital to make money, but they can't be themselves!
I have seen some parents, children are one or two years old, and they are willing to carry the ancient temple, and they are learning mental arithmetic, and when they reach elementary school, piano, Latin, calligraphy, and various subjects are tutored, and when they reach junior high school, they can't wait to deprive them of all their time and let them study.
How can children still have a so-called childhood!
At an age when they shouldn't have tolerate, they have endured pressure that they shouldn't have tolerate. Deprived them of their unbridled imagination and creativity, and cultivated a nerd, a tool for brushing questions!
On the other hand, look at the so-called genius children in the past, how many of them have really become pillars?
That's what we're all about!
CCTV once filmed a documentary "Mirror", which tells the story of a so-called "rebellious" child.
In order to confront his parents, running away from home is commonplace, and he even hurt himself again and again, and was admitted to the hospital several times.
But when he arrived at the school, he was very calm, he said:He was there to get rid of his parents.
He faced the camera and said: I am a boy who is almost an adult, I can't decide what to wear, what to eat, I am not allowed to ride my bicycle to a little farther place, and I will never ......keep the promises made by my parents
I can never have my own ideas, everything has to be approved by my parents!What's the use of me going to school if I'm always under their control?
I think this is the truest thought in the hearts of the vast majority of children!
Then, through the above analysis, perhaps we can find the real reason for the death of the students in Ningling Tsinghua Park.
So, let me first make an assumption that the incident of a student falling into W in a certain place is an ordinary self-staking behavior.
Is this assumption true?I think it's entirely possible!
Yesterday I analyzed, some people said that the teacher tortured the child to death, and I said that this is nonsense. Unless there is a deep hatred, butWhat is the deep hatred of a 14-year-old child with his teacher?
The child is poor in learning, the teacher is a big deal to criticize a few words, and the corporal punishment is severe, but at the risk of losing his head to torture the child to death, I think it is not the teacher who is stupid, but the netizens who hold this view!
Secondly, bullying does exist, and there have been cases where teachers have instigated students to "educate" disobedient children, but no teacher will watch children being beaten and ignore them!
Therefore, some netizens analyzed that the child should have committed suicide because he could not bear the pressure from all sides, and the wounds on his hands may also be self-harming.
This situation is not impossible, especially if parents leave their children to go out to work, lack of care for their children's body and mind, the most contact is to ask about the child's grades, and even give the child a death order, must take the test how many places, how many points, otherwise how how?
In fact, these children are lonely in their hearts and feel guilty about their parents, so their hearts are even more fragile!
Of course, I'm just making an assumption that is based on what has happened, so we as parents need to learn from this assumption.
As the parents of two students who are about to enter a rebellious period, I am deeply worried about my children. We can't change the current educational environment, we can't change the teachers, we can't change the children who bully, we can only change our attitude towards the children.
However, I am also looking forward to the truth, the content of the child's suicide note, the missing surveillance content, and the scars that cannot be justified must be given to the family to give a clear explanation!
We call out for these children to prevent similar things from happening to our children!
Fu Seoul once said a very heart-wrenching sentence:I have followed my mother's "perfect life plan" to this point, and it is my mother, not me, who is most happy.
There is another sentence in the girl's suicide note that tears the disguise of hundreds of millions of parents:
"People who sit on the couch and watch TV, lie in bed and play with their mobile phones, are always entitled to point their noses at a person who is reading a book or doing homework. Not for anything else, just because people are elders. ”Yes, we think that any instruction and accusation we make to our children is the right of our elders, but we ignore that children are also independent!
Write at the end:
Dong Qing said: What kind of person we want our children to become, what kind of person we want to be first. ”
As a qualified parent, don't be a spur on your child, but a guide for your child."
Encourage all parents in the world!