Chao News client reporter Qiu Yina correspondent Fang Haiyu finished.
Special thanks to: Wu Zhifu Famous Teacher Studio of Xuezheng Middle School in Qiantang District, Hangzhou.
Wu Zhifu, Meng Zeguang, Xu Yongbei, Fu Xiao, Sun Zheng, Liu Jingke, Tian Haina, Fang Haiyu, Tong Feibo.
The child's little emotions.
1. There are a few classmates in the class, they want to make friends with me, they are very enthusiastic, but I don't really want to think about it in my heart, and it will be embarrassing to refuse, and I don't want to make them sad, I don't know what to do?
A: I understand your predicament, and if you don't want to be friends with them, you can just tell them. But remember, everyone has the right to make friends, and if they want to be friends with you, that's their choice, not your responsibility. While you don't want to make them sad, you should also take responsibility for your feelings. You can:
Tell them directly that while you appreciate their friendship, you don't want to be friends with them at this time. It's important to let them know that you're not blaming or criticizing them, but expressing your feelings. Even if you don't want to be friends with them, be polite and respectful. This avoids unnecessary conflicts. You can also manage your interactions with each other and maintain a friendly but cold relationship with them. If you feel stressed or unable to handle the situation, seek help from a teacher, counselor, or other trusted adult who can offer some advice and support.
2. After the midterm exam, because my grades were better than my good friends, she was a little unhappy, I don't know how to open my mouth to relieve the embarrassment, should good friends also compare their academic Xi results with each other?
A: Among good friends, academic Xi grades should not be the focus of comparison. Friendship should be based on mutual respect, trust, and support, not measured by comparing achievements. If your best friend is upset that your grades are better than hers, it's not a healthy relationship.
You can try to have an open, honest conversation with a good friend and tell her how you feel and think. You can show your concern and concern to let her know that you understand her feelings, and you can also encourage her to Xi together and help each other instead of comparing grades with each other. You can also try to distract yourself by participating in fun activities and talking about common interests and hobbies, which can ease the awkward atmosphere.
Remember, friendship is based on mutual respect and understanding. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and we should encourage and support each other instead of hurting each other's feelings by comparison.
3. I actually want to make friends with classmates of the opposite sex, but I always feel that the class is full of boys and boys, girls and girls, and I have to accept the "attention ceremony" when I say a few more words with the opposite sex, so entangled!
A: First of all, we need to understand the purpose and meaning of making friends. There are no gender boundaries or restrictions on making friends. Think about it, why do we make friends with each other? It is often because of the same personality, the same three views, chatting, or being able to help each other in learning and Xi, and confiding in each other in life. Making friends is an essential part of interpersonal communication in campus life, and making good friends can benefit us for a lifetime. At the same time, making friends is also one of the skills that we must face and master after entering society. It doesn't matter if you're friends or friends.
Second, learn to focus on yourself. We can't make everyone completely satisfied, as long as we don't infringe on the rights and interests of others, we just need to be ourselves. You can't be led by the nose by some "malicious" comments! Reasonable interaction with the opposite sex, mutual supervision, and mutual help can promote the common growth of both parties, why not? We should support and encourage friendships that have a positive impact on this way.
Of course, in the process of dealing with different people, we still need to pay attention to proportion. Teenagers are in a critical period of emotional germination and mood swings, and it is also very normal for them to have feelings of appreciation and admiration for friends of the opposite sex. The ignorant emotions of adolescence are simple and beautiful, and they are memories worth cherishing in a lifetime. However, in the process of going forward, we must also pay attention to the "distance" and "scale", and must not bring harm to both sides.
A little worry for parents.
1. Recently, the child has always complained about his classmates at home, and sometimes his emotions are a little radical, and my father and I feel that something is wrong, but I don't know how to give advice to the child?
Answer: The child complains about his classmates at home, which may be the performance of the child asking for help from the parents, and the reasonable guidance of the parents and the joint solution are the key. In such a situation, parents can do a lot.
First, try to understand why your child has a negative opinion of his classmates, listen to his or her thoughts, and show an understanding of how they feel. Secondly, tell your child that everyone will have their own emotions and opinions, and try to look at their classmates' behavior from a positive perspective, and encourage them to take the initiative to solve problems instead of complaining and complaining. If your child is confused or unable to deal with a problem with a classmate, parents can offer some tips and methods to solve the problem.
If the situation persists, parents may consider contacting their teachers to find out if there is any help and support from the school.
Maintain good communication with your child, respect their feelings and ideas, and provide positive advice and support. This will help your child deal better with his classmates and also help build good family relationships.
2. My baby has been a little "withdrawn" since he was a child, and when he goes to a parent-teacher conference, the teacher will also mention that he usually doesn't talk much and has few friends, so we are a little anxious, should we guide him to make more friends? How to boot?
For children to make friends, parents can provide some suggestions and guidance according to their children's personality and preferences to help them better integrate into the group and make friends. For example, encourage your child to develop hobbies, which can serve as a bridge for your child to communicate and cooperate with other peers and help them make friends in their areas of interest. Or arrange some family gatherings or parent-child activities to provide more opportunities for children to contact and communicate with their peers, and encourage them to take the initiative to interact with others. Parents can also teach their children some basic social skills, such as how to take the initiative to greet others, how to share, how to respect others, etc., these skills can help children get along with others better.
Of course, every child's personality is different, and some children may be naturally more introverted or prefer to be alone. Parents can guide and help their children appropriately according to their personality and preferences, but also respect their children's choices and decisions. Every child has their own unique growth trajectory, and as long as they can grow up healthy and happy, the problem of making friends will gradually be solved over time.
3. My son is a "social cattle", and he has a lot of dates with friends during the holidays, and he is already in the third year of junior high school, will these interactions affect his Xi studies? We want to remind him, but looking at his energetic appearance every time he goes out, we are afraid that he will be unhappy, and we will not focus on studying Xi at that time.
First of all, we should affirm the shining point of the "social cow" in the child. This shows that the child has a cheerful personality and excellent interpersonal skills, which is undoubtedly an excellent quality in modern society, and is of great benefit to the child's future employment and development after entering the society. The Xi stage of junior high school is only a small part of the long distance in life, take a long-term view, excellent qualities are with children for life, and it is also what we need to pay attention to and cultivate.
Second, have parents ever thought that maybe if they limit going out, their children's minds will not turn to Xi? What really affects the Xi is the child's "awareness", if he has a Xi to learn, although he has a lot of extracurricular activities, he can also plan his time and arrange his Xi and entertainment reasonably. Therefore, what parents need to do is not to limit his activities, but to make him aware of how learning and Xi and entertainment should be coordinated with each other.
Therefore, parents can communicate calmly with their children, consult with their children, and do not aim to blame. It is recommended that parents do not directly persuade from the perspective of "too many social activities will affect the Xi of learning, so limit going out and playing with friends". You can "knock on the side", such as inviting your child's friends to your home, and after Xi, hold a party at home; Or parents plan to go camping, learn Xi together outdoors, and carry out recreational activities together after learning Xi.
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