What is the phrase we hear the most from childhood to adulthood?
I think it's "someone else's child". Yes, whether it was when we were young or when we became adults, the word has always lingered around us and never dissipated.
It's like when we are teenagers, we always want to be able to find our own direction in life through the path that others have taken. In middle age, we always want to hear the best version of ourselves from the mouths of others.
It's just that many times, we never ask ourselves what kind of life we really want to live, or what we really want
It's like revisiting one some time ago.
There is such a dialogue in the movie "Winning the Championship":
Lang Ping asked Zhu Ting: "Why do you play?"”
Zhu Ting replied, "For my parents." ”
Lang Ping heard the answer: "Then you will never be able to type, I am thinking." ”
Zhu Ting thought for a while and replied again: "Become you, you are satisfied." ”
Lang Ping replied: "You will never be able to become me." ”
yes!You can never be "me" because you are who you are. Each of us is unique in this world, and it is precisely because of this that each of us is irreproducible.
But the only thing that can be replicated is our lack of clarity about our own lives. It's like Lang Ping asked Zhu Ting a question, what she really wants to understand is not for others, but for herself.
Of course, we need benchmarks on the way forward, but this benchmark is also because of what we like, not for others, and not because of others.
After all, we all know that if something isn't what we want to do, we don't know why or for whom.
So along the way, even if we succeed in the end, we can't feel the joy of success. Because it's just not wanting to disappoint the people who love them. But that's not what I wanted.
It's like the protagonist of "The Moon and Sixpence", and in the end he abandons his family and children to pursue his dreams. Of course, this is also a sign of irresponsibility.
But at the end of the day, the life before him wasn't what he liked, he just lived for someone else. So, when he figured it out, he chose a more extreme way.
But it also tells us a truth, that is, understanding ourselves is really important to our lives. As the saying goes, "We often use a magnifying glass to observe and evaluate others, but we rarely look inward." ”
And the fact is that in the process of moving forward, to be honest, many of us actually go with the flow and don't understand what we really want.
This is also why some people's lives are like hanging up, no matter what they do, they can succeed. Because he knows exactly what he wants
Just like the classic question in "The Ferryman": "If life is a lonely river, then who will be the ferryman of your soul?"”
We all know the answer, and that is ourselves. But can we really do it?Obviously not, more often than not we understand what we really wantOr where is your own path.
As a result, we will be lost in the process of moving forward. It's just that we also know that a person can only grasp the direction of his life if he sees himself clearly. Only in this way can we walk our own path.
Therefore, we all need to understand that when we do things, we must first get out of our own way. Our way is not on the lips of others.
After all, the one who walks is ourselves, and it may be that we can't let other people's mouths lead us forward. Therefore, a large part of the reason why we are often unhappy is that we have not found our own way.
Fortunately, there are still choices in life, and if we have a choice, we have the opportunity to change. Therefore, we must clearly know what we want, and only in this way can we go better in life.
Text|Ming Fusheng.
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