I often hear people say: "The circle is different, there is no need to be strong;If the three views do not coincide, there is no need to go together. ”
For love and friendship, when you meet someone who has different views, it's good to leave, and you don't have to embarrass yourself.
But the family affection is different, that is, the three views of the two generations are different, and they still have to get along day and night.
As a mother, she undertook the task of "teaching her husband and children", and when she corrected her three views, she also gave her children the correct three views, which is the best policy.
Fan Zhongyan, a famous politician and writer in the Northern Song Dynasty, lost his biological father when he was a child, followed his mother to send people under the fence, and finally came to the bitter end.
All his achievements are inseparable from the "three views" of his mother, Mrs. Xie.
The mother's view of marriage gives her children a decent home.
Home and everything is prosperous", even children know this truth.
But when Fan Zhongyan was a child, he encountered many family changes.
He was born in a ** family in Suzhou, and his father had a wife and a concubine. His mother, Mrs. Xie, was a concubine, and more importantly, his father died in the second year of his birth.
My father's wife, Mrs. Chen, is very wealthy, but there is no doubt that Mrs. Xie cannot be tolerated.
After dealing with his father's funeral, Fan Zhongyan followed Mrs. Xie and lived in the monastery, relying on alms.
One day, Zhu Wenhan, the official of Pingjiang Mansion, came to offer incense, saw Mrs. Xie, felt pity, and chatted for a while.
After that, Zhu Wenhan and Mrs. Xie decided to get married. But there are multiple obstacles to marriage, and Zhu Wenhan already has a wife and three children.
In those days, it was a rare thing for a woman to remarry;It is also unusual for a man to marry a woman with a child as a concubine.
For the bondage of feudal Xi, Mrs. Xie hesitated, but finally chose to remarry. After all, it is especially important to give children a decent family.
After his mother got married, Fan Zhongyan changed his name to Zhu Shuo, so that Fan Zhongyan thought for many years that he was the biological child of the Zhu family. It also alleviated the pain caused by the loss of his father to a certain extent.
A writer once said, "The family is the father's kingdom, the mother's world, and the child's paradise." ”If a mother wants to give her children a good family, the first step must be a good marriage.
To make the marriage better, on the surface, the mother is more selfish, but in fact, it fully takes into account the growth environment of the children, and to a certain extent, the mother really wronged herself.
A good mother, try not to let the father be absent, and not let the child have regrets about growing up. If the father is really incompetent, the mother will also support a family, and a strong character is a beacon for her children.
Mother's concept of learning Xi empowers her children.
Fan Zhongyan is in the Zhu family, and he has always had the opportunity to study.
Although his family was not wealthy, Fan Zhongyan never stopped studying Xi. So much so that there is an allusion to "painting porridge with broken teeth", a bowl of porridge must be divided into several times to eat, so as to avoid starving yourself.
In order to alleviate the cost of his studies, he went to Liquan Temple to study, and during his four years of study, he was shabby and full of energy.
When he was twenty years old, he also went to the capital to study.
When he was twenty-three years old, his mother told him his true background. His tolerance of the Zhu family and his stepfather's love were in awe, but he also felt guilty. After that, he was even more grateful for the hard-won opportunity to study, and soon he was admitted to the Jinshi and became an official in the court.
We don't know if my mother ever read a book, but it is a fact that my mother has always encouraged Fan Zhongyan to study.
"Everything is inferior, but reading is high".In ordinary families, reading is the biggest shortcut and the most painful shortcut.
When we read the article written by Fan Zhongyan and sighed at his literary brilliance, we must see his mother, who is silently empowered behind the scenes.
What's even more rare is that Fan Zhongyan studied seriously and cultivated the upbringing of a scholar.Once, he helped someone write an epitaph and gave it to the essayist Yoon-so.
Yoon-so pointed out: "Future generations will follow your article as a model, and now you are writing a history of thorns."
In the face of criticism, Fan Zhongyan was very happy: "Thank you for watching it." ”
I have seen many families, but my mother only knows the importance of money, and she will not really sink down to educate herself to read more.
There are also some mothers who say "child, study hard", but they are holding their mobile phones in their hands, looking at the boring **, and they can't think about it.
What's even more terrifying is that some mothers, but when they ask their children about their studies, they let their children do everything, which leads to their children's failure.
Reading does not necessarily make a lot of money and become a big thing. However, children are knowledgeable, do not spend money indiscriminately, and do not lose their families, and this is the best wealth.
A mother's moral outlook is the confidence of her children.
After suffering from the Fan family and accepting the kindness of the Zhu family, Mrs. Xie did not resent the Fan family because of this, nor did she not let Fan Zhongyan know her life experience.
From Fan Zhongyan's pen, the mother's virtue can be reflected"Filial piety should be exhausted, loyalty and courage show sincerity;."Brothers help each other, and compassion has no borders. ”
His mother also taught him not to be greedy, not to be his own.
While he was studying in the monastery, a mouse jumped out at night, and following the direction in which the mouse was running, he found a pile of gold and silver.
But he didn't take a point.
Years later, the monastery was burned down, and Master Huitong turned to Fan Zhongyan, who had become famous, for help. Fan Zhongyan said: "Jingdong has a pool of gold, Jingxi has a pool of silver, half of the monastery is repaired, and half is a monk."
There is no dirt in being a human being in order to write"The worries of the world are worried, and the joys of the world are happy".Famous sentences of the bar.
In real life, many mothers like to be greedy, and even encourage their children to take other people's things and frolic in the supermarket at will.
There are also some mothers who think that their children are in their teens, still young, and can be presumptuous. When the child grows up, he suffers the pain of bad morality.
The higher the moral quality of the mother, the more she can keep the bottom line of the family and let her children live uprightly.
Fan Zhongyan wrote such a paragraph in the article: "When I was poor, I raised my relatives with your mother, and your mother bowed to the plan and my relatives were willing, and they did not try to fill it. Now I have a good fortune, and I want to support my relatives, but my relatives are not there. ”
This is to educate one's own children, but also to eulogize one's own mother.
When we feel about a celebrity, we should look at our own family, what our mother has done, and what our three views are.
Everyone knows the truth of teaching by word and deed, if you don't correct yourself, and just force your children to behave, I'm afraid you won't succeed.
Most wonderful children have met a wonderful mother.
Mother-son-mother-daughter is blood, and they need more opportunities on the road to growth.
Mother is the anchor of the family, don't know if it's too late.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.