I often say that the easiest thing to change in the world is feelings, full of many unexpected, you have to love you today, and you can be disgusted with it tomorrow and have to part ways immediately.
The road of affection, whether in love or in marriage, is still a long and distant path, leading to the other side, and the two of them must work together to complete it.
Then, there are always some people who get lost while walking, because the scenery on the road is too beautiful, so they choose to betray each other halfway.
When the person you love deeply fails to keep that bottom line after all, and finally breaks the vow you made together, hurts you, and hurts your marriage, how to deal with this relationship.
People with high emotional intelligence can still do this even when they know that the other party is cheating, which is really not simple.
1. Keep your sanity and no longer remember the old feelings
When a person knows that the person he loves has cheated, deep down he can't accept it.
I love him so much, I have done so much for him, I have done so much for this family, we used to love him so much, and now we love each other very much, but the other party still cheats.
The spirit collapsed for a while, and even puzzled, painful, and unbearable every day, and when I thought of the bits and pieces of being together before, I felt unbelievable.
You questioned you, insulted you, washed your face with tears, you hoped that he could reform and return to the family, you were willing to compromise, you were willing to obey him, and you were willing to ignore the past suspicions.
The more you are like this, the more the other party feels that you have no bottom line and no principles, and they will only cherish you even less.
And smart people often live very rationally, for them, a change of heart is a change of heart, a spoiled relationship, it can not be restored to the original, just like spoiled food, the taste changes is changed.
She will not mess up and lower her posture because the other party has changed her mind and cheated, but rationally and calmly analyzes the necessity of the existence of this relationship, calm, unhurried sorting out the evidence, not annoyed or angry, and transforms all the crises into her own turnaround, maximizing the benefits and minimizing the harm.
As Knowles said, "Marriage is not a lottery ticket, and even if you lose, you can't tear things up." ”
She will not let the other party affect her emotions, dominate her life and future, and secretly plan for herself to ensure her own interests under the calm and calm surface.
Although she used to love this person very much and had a good time with him, she would not dwell on the past, let alone ask the other party to treat her as before, because she knew that it was no longer possible.
Her decisiveness and determination are not because she is ruthless, but sober and rational to save the rest of her life.
2. Don't care about face, know how to leave a way back for yourself
I once watched the news of a person, the two have been together for 15 years, but the other party cheated, almost all the savings in the family were earned by her alone, but her husband was playing with another woman.
Her husband swore that he would never have anything with that person again, and deleted all of the other party's *** She relented and chose to divorce, however, in exchange for another cheating.
It turned out that the woman did not leave their lives, but came to the city of the two of them, she was so desperate that she almost wanted to end the rest of her life, but in the end she chose to face it with reason.
She no longer remembered how good he used to be, but began to collect evidence, and at the moment of divorce, let the other party leave the house.
When a relationship encounters betrayal, you can be soft-hearted, but you can't hurt yourself, the other party is unjust, and you only have a "self-interested" attitude towards you, then you have to respond with the same attitude.
When the relationship is red, you must learn to face it rationally and quickly adjust your mentality, whether you still want to be together or separate.
If you are really reluctant to be separated and still want to live together, you must also take the benefits you can get in your hands, so that you can freely control your life in the future.
If you really can't stand it, then leave as soon as possible, and don't get entangled with bad people and bad things.
3. Live your life at all times
On the road of marriage, once you reach the fork in the road of cheating, it is difficult to turn back, and how difficult it is to repair.
But in any case, when you encounter betrayal, please remember, don't use emotional thinking to influence the other party to change their minds, let alone let yourself be depressed all the time, living in the pain of self-pity and self-pity.
You pay for the wrong things that the other party has done, and only you hurt yourself, you have to learn to deal with this changed relationship rationally and soberly, so that you can not regret or resent in the future.
You know, it's easy to reconcile, it's too hard to be the same. Since it is too difficult, then deal with it calmly and fight for your own interests.