I'm Lin Xiaomei, 28 years old, and I look like an ordinary woman on the outside, but I have a secret hidden inside me - I'm a transgender person.
I've always felt like I think and act differently than most girls, and I'm more masculine. My friends like gentle and considerate guys, but I have a special preference for confident and independent girls.
I'm not interested in fashion, but I love sports. Although I recognized my uniqueness early on, I didn't want others to know about it, so I kept it hidden.
I believe that as a woman, the most important thing is to think and act independently, and not be bound by gender. I still want to live the same life as everyone else, it's just that in a relationship, I have some different opinions.
I don't like over-dependence and showing weakness, I prefer an equal relationship. I want to find a partner who understands my strong personality and doesn't mind.
In a casual conversation with her roommate Xiaofang, she revealed that she was trying to go on a blind date recently, and said that the other party's name was Xiaojie, and he was a very good man. She also showed me Xiaojie's **, which looks very handsome indeed.
So, I asked Xiaofang to help arrange for us to meet. "I think the boundaries of gender roles in modern society are becoming more and more blurred, and everyone should live their lives the way they like, rather than being bound by fixed patterns," Xiaojie said. ”
He continued: "I don't think there's anything wrong with you, everybody has a different personality, it's normal. We can get to know each other slowly. ”
I have a deep crush on him and he understands me. We started going on frequent dates and it was very enjoyable for me every time. Once, when we said goodbye at the door of our house, we naturally kissed together.
From that moment on, we were in a relationship. That weekend, I went to his house. We had a simple dinner together and then snuggled up to each other quietly on the balcony.
I leaned into his arms, smelled his breath, and felt incomparably happy and peaceful.
Are you home alone tonight?"I looked at Xiaojie with a hint of anticipation in my eyes. Xiaojie smiled and nodded, his fingers gently combing my long hair:"Yes, I'm the only one in the house.
Do you have any ideas?"I kissed Jay on the lips"We've been in love for a long time, and it's time to get to know each other on a deeper level. "
Xiaojie seemed a little surprised, but immediately responded to me with a warm embrace: "Are you sure?".We don't have to rush, I can wait for you to prepare. I stood up and took Jack's hand and walked to the bedroom.
I knew he should be able to feel the passion in me. Xiao Jie's hand gently caressed my body, and his kiss went down my neck, like fire everywhere he touched.
I also gently stroked him and felt his heat.
Is that possible?"Xiaojie asked softly in my ear. I nodded slightly, and he slowly entered me. Although there was a slight pain, it was quickly replaced by intense pleasure.
We interlock our fingers and tumble in a sea of passion. When the climax came, I finally experienced what it was like to be one with my beloved. Afterwards, I leaned into Xiaojie's arms, and my heart was full of happiness and satisfaction.
The intimacy of this moment trumps all words.
We were chatting over breakfast, and Jay asked me how I felt last night. I blushed slightly, a little embarrassed, but still honestly told him it was a wonderful night.
He smiled and shook my hand, admitting that it was a perfect experience as well. After establishing an intimate relationship with Xiaojie, I began to notice some psychological and life changes in myself.
In addition, I found myself starting to pay attention to my figure and clothing, hoping to become more attractive. I didn't care much about these before, but since I got in close contact with Xiaojie, I began to deliberately choose the best clothes and put on exquisite makeup, wanting to show my charm at all times.
I feel that the pace of life is gradually accelerating, and I always look forward to spending time with Xiaojie. On weekdays, I finish my work early and go to see him with great anticipation. I seem to love social and entertainment more than ever, and I feel very happy whenever I can be with Xiaojie.
Another point, I found that I wanted to take care of Xiaojie more, like a "hostess". For example, I would often send messages to Xiaojie, asking him if he had eaten, reminding him not to work too late, etc.
I will also take the initiative to go to Xiaojie's house to cook for him and prepare his favorite dishes. My friends laughed at me and called me "motherly". However, as our relationship developed, some problems began to emerge.
Occasionally, Jay would complain that I had become too clingy and not as easy-going and confident as I used to be. Once, we had a big fight and almost broke up.
That day, I couldn't help but ask Xiaojie if he felt different after having sex with me. Xiao Jie said angrily, of course he felt the same way about me, but my inexplicable little temper all day really annoyed him.
When I heard this, my eyes immediately turned red and I asked him aloud if he was tired of me. Xiaojie also lost his temper, saying that he thought that having a relationship would make the relationship between the two better, but he didn't expect me to become vexatious.
We quarreled so much that Xiaojie slammed the door and left. After that, I had a cold war with Xiaojie for a week. I felt very self-reproachful and felt that I had indeed become very twisted and extreme.
After having a relationship, I shouldn't be angry with Xiaojie because I don't feel safe, it has hurt him. I decided to change my behavior and make our relationship more harmonious.
After much deliberation, I realized that I needed to adjust my mindset. I can't use a relationship to measure my self-worth, let alone become vulnerable and dependent because of it.
I need to build self-confidence and maintain an independent personality. One day, I sent a message to Xiaojie, saying that I wanted to have a good talk. Xiaojie readily agreed. He looked at me, sighed softly, and then took me into his arms: "Actually, you don't have to blame yourself, I also have something wrong, and I shouldn't quarrel with you so impulsively."
We're all learning Xi how to maintain a stable relationship. I'm really relieved that you're willing to take a fresh look at yourself. Let's take our time, one step at a time, and believe that we will be able to go further. ”
Our conversation became an important turning point in the relationship. Since then, I have stopped relying on him excessively and have learned to respect his work. I keep my hobbies and keep a good relationship with my friends.
We spend at least a few days a week doing what we love together, and even if there are disagreements, we communicate peacefully and don't let the problem escalate. Now that our relationship has been stable for two years, I have become more mature.
Thinking back to the things that once confused me, I don't bother about it anymore. Because I know that to love someone is to trust and support their growth, not to bind or control.
Sometimes, maintaining an independent self can bring two people closer together. I am very fortunate to be with him, I have found self-confidence and learned true love.
Through the ups and downs, our relationship is on track. Now we have been living together for more than a year and enjoy a stable and sweet life.
During the days of living together, I felt the beauty of life. Every morning, I would wake up early to prepare breakfast for Xiaojie, and then wake him up while he was still asleep. We will share interesting things about the recent events while eating, and it will feel like we have returned to a sweet time that we have not seen in a long time.
When I came home from work and saw Xiaojie busy at home, I would excitedly step forward and hug him from behind. Sometimes I might interrupt his work or games, and he would helplessly coquettish and say "why are you so clingy", and then turn around and hug me warmly.
The occasional trip is full of laughter. Xiaojie and I will plan our itinerary together in advance and search for attractions online. During the trip, we will take photos as much as possible, and then go back to the hotel in the evening to tidy up**, looking at each other's excited expressions will constantly recall the bits and pieces of the trip.
Of course, there are areas where you need to adapt to cohabitation. Jay sometimes yells while playing games, making it impossible for me to concentrate on my work;I sometimes get down for various reasons and lose my temper with Xiaojie for no reason.
But we recognise that conflict is part of cohabitation and requires mutual tolerance, understanding and communication. Where it is not handled properly, we reflect and improve.
Now I am no longer bothered by romantic relationships, because I understand that love can only last if two people have separate personalities. I will continue to maintain my independence and hobbies, and at the same time give Xiaojie plenty of space.
At the same time, we invest time and energy together to maintain the relationship. When love is no longer just possession, but companionship, life will be full of sweet surprises every day.
Once, Jack suddenly offered to take me to a place and give me an unexpected surprise. I tried to guess that he might take me to **, like an anniversary spot or a romantic two-person trip, but he just smiled mysteriously, neither admitting nor denying it.
Just then, Jack took a small box out of his backpack, knelt down in front of me, and opened the box, which contained a delicate ring set with a small sparkling diamond.
These two years have been the best years of my life, and I have become better with you. I feel very lucky to have met you. I want to enter the palace of marriage with you, as long as you are there, every day will become radiant.
Will you marry me?Jack looked at me eagerly, expecting my answer.
I was ecstatic, laughing and throwing myself into Jay's arms, tears welling up like a spring: "I do!".Jay put the ring on me, then stood up and hugged me tightly.
We kissed goodbye affectionately in the afterglow of the setting sun. At this moment, I feel that heaven and earth are moved by our love, and the beautiful picture of the future is all displayed in front of us. Jie was stunned for a moment, and then laughed heartily: "I know, I have already seen it."
You're so good, how can a girl compare to you!"At first, I thought you were, but then with you, I realized that you were different. But it doesn't matter, it's still you who I like.
Jay pulled my hand, "So, this ring is a good match for us, so let's take it." I nodded movingly and hugged him who knew me best and accepted me. On our wedding day, our friends and family sent us our best wishes.
When the pastor announced that we were officially husband and wife, we exchanged wedding rings engraved on each other and a sweet and passionate kiss came. From acquaintance to acquaintance, from acquaintance to love, our story will continue.
As long as you are here, my life is complete. Life after marriage is as sweet and happy as a newlywed honeymoon. We often play sports together, and I show off my skills on the basketball court, and every time I see Jay conceding defeat, I can't help but laugh and tease him, and then quickly let him pull a game back.
In the evenings I make up for it by cooking his favorite dishes. Sometimes I come home from work and find Jay in tears while watching a TV series. I would pretend to laugh at him indifferently, but I would hold him in my arms and comfort him softly.
Jay would also admit that he was a crybaby without care, and then tease me for being tough on the outside and soft on the inside. There will also be times of small quarrels, like all couples, we will lose our temper over small things, it may be who forgot to bring the house key, or the housework is not evenly distributed, etc.
But we realized that arguing would not solve the problem, so we would reconcile quickly. Sometimes we send an apology message and give each other a big hug when we get home.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't met Jay. Maybe I will continue to live a life of self-isolation and dare not face my true thoughts.
Maybe I'll be dating a guy, but I've never been able to find a spiritual fit. Now I know that meeting Jay is the luckiest thing in my life. Because of this gentle and considerate boy, I have become a better version of myself.
Today, I'm still an independent girl, but I've stopped hiding my true nature and I've learned to be honest with people. I will continue to be independent, but willing to open my heart for love.
Thank you Jay for coming into my world and allowing me to find a happy belonging. We will always walk side by side in the future.