1.My brother and sister-in-law are all short-tempered, and the two of them are ** at every turn. So I advised my brother that the next time you want to lose your temper, try to take a deep breath and then say "don't lose your temper" 10 times to let the anger go away. Last night, my sister-in-law was angry again for a little thing, and I kept chattering, and my brother remembered my words, took a deep breath, and began to read silently in his mouth. . . Seeing this, my sister-in-law slapped me and beckoned: You dare to chant a spell to curse me!?
2.The male colleague who claims to never get married, the children will play soy sauce, and we are all curious about what kind of girl surrendered to him. He recalls the scene of the marriage proposal: "When my girlfriend was celebrating her birthday, she suddenly ate a diamond ring while eating cake, and then shyly said to me: 'I am willing to marry you. Then we got married. We said it was romantic, and he sighed, "yes, even I can't refuse a girl who paid for a ring and hid it in a cake ......."”
3.I'm a fat girl, and I went to weigh it today, and I weighed 15 pounds, I went home and said to my mother: "Mom, I weighed myself today, and I am fat again." My mother ignored it and said, "I can see it by visual inspection, and I still need to weigh it." ”
4.The wife is stir-frying in the kitchen. Her husband kept nagging beside her: "Slow down, be careful!".The fire is too big. Hurry up and turn the fish over, there is too much oil!The wife blurted out, "I know how to stir-fry." The husband calmly replied, "I just want you to know ......how I feel when I'm driving and you're chattering next to me.""It's not difficult to learn to be considerate of others, as long as you are willing to seriously look at things from the other person's point of view and position.
5.One day, the principal walked into a classroom before class to prepare for a lecture. Finally, the bell rang, and the geography teacher walked into the classroom with a globe and put it on the podiumStudents answered: Principal. The geography teacher said angrily: Is the principal a thing?Student: The principal is not a thing.
6.I bought a new notebook and told my father: Dad, I turned on the computer for 23 seconds and beat 99% of the computers in the country. Dad slapped his thigh: Oh, I turned on the computer for 2 minutes and 43 seconds, beating 1% of the computers in the country. Together, we beat 100% of the country's users!
7.Lying in bed at night, I asked my daughter-in-law: "Should a man focus on his career or his family?" The daughter-in-law was silent, and then I remembered the classic sentence: "I can't hold you if I carry bricks, and I won't have the hands to move bricks when I hold you." Then the daughter-in-law came and said, "You can carry me to move bricks!."”